Fire On The Mountain

One of the things some local Baptists do well here is a men's prayer breakfast. They meet every Friday and they're a good, straight-up group of guys who like to ride, shoot and fish and aren't ashamed of their faith.

I like to go for the prayer and fellowship and to hear a short, simple but direct message. Today's was on Elijah and the prophets of Baal in 1 Kings. Elijah called down fire from heaven and confounded the evil prophets of an evil god. These met a grisly end, which serves as a warning to the idolatry of our dark and increasingly barbarous age. So be filled with the fire of God that is the fire of love, and repent.

Texas This Morning. Note Water

My mind went back from that to Exodus, the burning bush and the Divine Name, I AM THAT AM, or, in the Septuagint, He Who Is, and then forward in time to Pentecost and the tongues of fire that rested upon the Apostles.

No Comment

Some say that the episcopal mitre represents this fire. Others again point to the awkward bit in the Gospel about wolves in sheep's clothing, to say nothing of the demon Baal and its false prophets.

Make of that what you will.

LSP

The Four Seasons

Everyone wants to stay at the Four Seasons because it has Sweepstakes, Internet and Fun Time. "What's the 'Fun Time'?" I asked the old rocker behind the counter of the next door gas station. I was curious, "Would that be Internet or Sweepstakes?" 

He pondered this for a moment, "Well, they can go in there and get on the internet, which can be kind of fun. Then they can gamble." Maybe I didn't look too convinced at the prospect and the truth came out, "And there's a bar." That would account for it, mystery solved. 

We talked for a bit about England and its pubs, which I miss, and he asked what had gone wrong with the country and how soon it'd turn Muslim. "How'd that happen?" he asked, pushing back his hair. 

Random Gun & Hat

"Good question," I replied, "They went lib, shariasymp lib. ISIS laughs." My new friend agreed, he had no time for commies, libs or the Jihad of Peace, but he did like Churchill.

So stay at the Four Seasons and visit the gas station. You'll find it on Hwy 22, heading west to Lake Whitney.

God bless,

LSP

It's Bushcraft Wednesday, on Thursday!

The thing about Bushcraft is that it's all about surviving in the bush, in the wild, and part of that means knowing you're not in some kind of petting zoo.

Here at the Compound we hope you find this short infovideo helpful.

Be prepared or, as we say in the community, loaded for bear.

Your Friend,

LSP

A Prayer Poem For The Feast

It's the evening of the Feast of St. Matthias and all's quiet here at the Compound, apart from the sharp click of magazines going into their wells, rifle bolts being worked and pistol slides racking in the action. And the sound of sirens filling the air as the local PD heads West over the railway tracks to take down a meth lab under the light of a silver moon.

As you reflect on this comforting scene of rural Texan tranquility, here's something to steer the mind towards holier things. It's from the Eastern Breviary.

O apostle Mathias! thou didst complete the sacred college, from which Judas had fallen; and by the power of the Holy Ghost, thou didst put to flight the darkness of idolatry by the admirable lightnings of thy wise words. Do thou now beseech the Lord that he grant peace and much mercy to our souls.

He that is the true Vine sent thee, a fruitful branch, bearing the grapes that give out the wine of salvation. When they drank it that before were slaves to ignorance, they turned from the drunkenness of error.

Being made, O glorious Mathias, the chariot of God's word, thou didst break for ever the wheels of error, and the chariots of iniquity. By the divine power, thou didst defeat the idolaters, and destroy the pillars and the temples; but thou didst build up to the Trinity other temples, which echoed with these words All ye people, praise Christ above all for ever!

The drunkenness of error. I'd say there's a surfeit of that, right about now.

Your Old Friend,

LSP 

The Archbishop of Canterbury is Steve Jobs?

Startling new photo evidence suggests that former oil executive and Motorcity brawler, Archbishop Justin Welby, is in fact Steve Jobs.

Evidence emerged at a rural Texan Walmart, where stunned onlookers were shocked to see the face of the Archbishop of Canterbury on CD covers of the smash-hit film, Steve Jobs. 

Justin Welby, Steve Jobs

"I never knew Justin Welby was the high-tech genius behind Apple," stated one worried farmer, "I thought he was just, you know, an oil executive who went off the rez (reservation) in Detroit, hustling for spare change and trying to pawn his finery on 8 Mile."

Bronski Beat With Justin Welby (Center)

Others aren't convinced. According to sources at the Anglican Consultative Council, "The Archbishop of Canterbury is not Steve Jobs. Everyone knows he was the lead singer with the Bronski Beat. Nothing has changed."

Is Justin Welby Steve Jobs, or the former singer of the famous pop boy band, Bronski Beat?

You, the reader, be the judge.

LSP

The Feast of St. Matthias

If Donald Trump is the reincarnation of Pompey Magnus, what does that make Hillary. Some kind of pantsuited, overweight Livia? As you ponder that, don't forget it's the Feast of St. Matthias the Apostle. Here's his Collect:

O ALMIGHTY God, who into the place of the traitor Judas didst choose thy faithful servant Matthias to be of the number of the twelve Apostles; Grant that thy Church, being alway preserved from false Apostles, may be ordered and guided by faithful and true pastors; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

God bless,

LSP

Ice Creature (warning -- Muslims & Vegetarians won't like this)

A churchman kindly invited me to a hog hunt on his lease over the weekend, but I couldn't go because I had to say Mass on Sunday. I'm sure you understand, it goes with the territory.

Put it on Ice

However, I did get a pig as a consolation prize. The hog was gutted, iced, and fit neatly into a cooler in the back of the rig. 

Hang it up on The Porch Over a Tarp

Next step, take the cooler out of the bed of the truck, trying not to give yourself a hernia. Weightlifting over, lay out a tarp and hang the porker up on the front porch by its hind legs, out of the driving Texan rain.

Put on Some Gloves, Get a Knife

Put on some gloves and take up a sharp knife, I used a filet knife from Walmart ($2.00), and cut around the skin on the hoof end of the leg, then lengthwise down the front of the leg. Work the skin off and down the carcass until it hangs like a cape over the head of the pig.

Nearly There

Stop for a while and look at the pig that died so that you can live off its meat. Thanks for the sacrifice, creature of pork. 

Take The Meat Off The Back

You're now ready to get the meat; take out the tenderloins and the backstraps, then cut off the legs, slicing along the hips. You should be able to work your knife into the ball joints and pop them out, top and bottom.

Well Done, Now You've Got Some Pork

Two legs of ham later, it's time for the shoulders, cut as much meat off as you can. Clean up the mess, hose down your meat and put it in the freezer. Congratulate yourself on a job well done.

Meat in The Freezer

A friend or two threaten to visit for a feast, "honestly hunted meat is allowed during Lent," they tell me, "just not on Fridays." 

That has the ring of truth to it.

LSP

Yet More Trump Lit

Alongside decayed roués with dubious means of subsistence and of dubious origin, alongside ruined and adventurous offshoots of the bourgeoisie, were vagabonds, discharged soldiers, discharged jailbirds, escaped galley slaves, swindlers, mountebanks, lazzaroni, pickpockets, tricksters, gamblers, maquereaux [pimps], brothel keepers, porters, literati, organ grinders, ragpickers, knife grinders, tinkers, beggars — in short, the whole indefinite, disintegrated mass... 

No! Karl Marx wasn't describing the Church of England's General Synod, or even Neil Young, but what about the American political class and their media servants? ZeroHedge thinks so and I like this:

This is why the media is as much the class enemy of the working class as the incestuous, corrupted and corrupting pool of swindlers, fakes, apparatchiks, lobbyist/brothel keepers and grifters that populate Washington, D.C.

But there's plenty more. You can read the whole thing here and add it to the growing list of literature on the Trump phenomenon. 

In other news, I've just  skinned and quartered a pig on the porch. I doubt anyone's ever done that here before.

More on that exciting development later.

God bless,

LSP

Foreign Policy Tuesday

Instead of insightful forpol commentary that you can read all over the internet, I'll leave you with this interesting Moscow poster.

I think it's advertising some kind of film.

LSP

Monday Inspiration

Here's a helpful infographic to take your mind off of unsettling Hitler headlines and the disturbing prospect of Hillary Rodham Clinton becoming a pantsuit wearing nun.

In other exciting news, there's a pig on ice in a cooler here at the Compound. Blue Hogmeat is very perplexed...

Cheers,

LSP

Donald Trump For Pope

According to CNN, Donald Trump is taking a shot at the Papacy as well as the US Presidency:

I don’t have to do this, when you think about it. I really don’t. I’m rich. I’m really, really, rich. I built a great company; a tremendous company. I employ thousands and thousands of people. So my friends, they ask me, they say Donald, you have everything you can dream of. You’re rich, you have an amazing wife, an amazing family, you’re very successful, why run for Pope? And I say, you know what? I have to run. My Church needs me. The Catholics need me. I have to make the Catholic Church great again. I have to.

I especially enjoyed this:

The priest consecrates a bunch of hosts and then a layperson, usually a woman up at the altar in a pantsuit. Probably Hillary. I wouldn’t be surprised if it were Hillary.

(Laughter)

You ever notice today that all the nuns dress like Hillary? When did that happen? When did nuns start dressing like Hillary? It’s scary. It’s really scary.

Trad Catholics, and anyone else, might enjoy reading the whole thing here.

Cheers,

LSP 

Budget

One of the team sent this in and I hope you find it useful.

LSP

Ride Like The Wind

I won't lie, we pretty much flew along over the fields and trails after Mass today. But when not going full tilt hell for leather and Devil take the hindmost, I worked on collection, posting trot and basic horsemanship.

Go on, Run at That Tree

Running at a tree and then galloping around it was pretty good fun; working on serpentines with minimal use of reins was maybe less so, but probably a more valuable exercise. And I won't discount the importance of galloping through the bucolic Mesquite trails of Olde Texas. Careful there, fella, don't get your eye gouged out!

See, That's What Happens

Thorns aside, it was good to simply explore the land on horseback, I find that relaxing, it clears the head. And think, not too long ago, almost within living memory, this county was only just settled, and even that might be stretching a point. But for all its lawlessness, and there was plenty, there weren't many Indian raids. In neighboring counties, sure, but not here. 

A Fairly Typical Tree

As I understand it, people think it was a kind of neutral zone, or "treaty area," which made it comparatively peaceful, as far as the tribes were concerned. Different story of course, if you were John Wesley Hardin.

Spot Hardin. Note, none of these people are in "The Band."

Harding shot and killed somewhere between 20 and 40 people, maybe more, before he was shot in an El Paso Saloon by lawman John Selman. Hardin had killed 8 men by the time he was 16 and I mentioned that to my friend who kindly lets me ride on his ranch. "The thing about him," he said, "is that he just wasn't sane."

It's more than conceivable, in fact it is likely, that Hardin rode through or very near the land I was riding on today. 

Mind how you go,

LSP

And This One's For Jeb!

As Jeb! folds gracefully back into the wing-back chair of the elite country club that you couldn't ever hope to join in a million years night we, here at Team LSP, think it only right to play his song, maybe for the last time. And if you notice any disharmony, or lack of energy, well, so be it.

Goodnight, Jeb!, you were awesome, except that you weren't.

LSP

Magnus!

The Trumpist juggernaut has steamrolled South Carolina, leaving the bow tie and tasseled loafer brigade of the GOP establishment choking and gasping for air as they gulp down a devil's brew of single malt and vicodin. Just to steady their nerves.

Many believe that Russian strongman, Vladimir Putin, is the New Constantine. Is Donald Trump the reincarnation of Pompey Magnus?!?

It appears that the age of the Gods is upon us. 

LSP

Marcus Borg is Dead

The world-renowned scholar, author, professor and theologian, Marcus Borg, is dead. He died last year; he is still dead, although his great thoughts live on.

Borg was a Christian who didn't believe that Jesus was God and rose from the dead, or perform any miracles. He didn't believe in the Bible either, for him it was just a myth, but he did believe in his new religion, Panentheism, which says that everything is God.

Panentheism

Penentheism is like pantheism, except that it has an "en" in the middle of it. It is not like Christianity, which is why Borg was made a Canon Theologian in the Episcopal Church and served at Trinity Cathedral, in Portland, Oregon.

The Jesus Seminar

Borg became a superstar for debunking Jesus' divinity on Robert Funk's celebrity Jesus Seminar, in which genius scholars played with colored beads and decided the Gospels weren't true. Once they'd said that a few times the Jesus Seminar wasn't famous anymore. 

Kahn and Funk

Robert Funk should not be confused with the former IMF NWO Illuminati financier, Dominique Strauss-Kahn, even though both of them were against Jesus.

A Typical Head on Mars

Like the Jesus Seminar, and possibly Dominique Strauss-Kahn, Marcus Borg is not famous anymore. But that might change, his head has been found on Mars.

Your Friend,

LSP

The Face of The Worldwide Anglican Non-Communion Found on Mars?

A mysterious monument on Mars may be evidence that the Worldwide Anglican Non-Communion (WANC), has gone "off-planet."

Startling images from Viking 1 revealed the shadowy likeness of a human face on Mars. An enormous head nearly two miles from end to end seemed to be staring back at the cameras from a region of the Red Planet called Cydonia.

However, more recent photos from the Mars Global Surveyor (MGS) and the Mars Orbital Camera (MOC) show what seems to be a broken down old hill. "It may look like a 'face' from a distance," said a member of the MGS team, "but when you get up close you can see it's just a free-standing eroded landform, like a butte or a mesa, like Middle Butte in Idaho. An apron of boulders around the base would make the climb difficult for a robot."

Others disagree. "Once adjusted for sun angle and natural erosion, the Viking photos show humanoid features, nose, eyes, mouth and nostrils," stated one expert, "The chances of that happening exceed a thousand billion billion to one (10^21 to 1). We are compelled to accept artificiality as the most reasonable explanation consistent with the a priori principle of scientific method."

Has science discovered the Face of WANC on Mars, or an eroded butte?

You, the reader, be the judge.

LSP

Spot The Defense Minister, Old But Gold

Trick question, they all are! I know, it's an old joke but somehow it seems weirdly relevant. Good luck, Europe.

God bless,

LSP

Keep Your Hat On!

How do you keep your cowboy hat on? Staples. But seriously, there you are, riding along, and you pick up a canter and then a gallop, which is great but you want to go further and faster, so you change gear and accelerate to a run. A fast full-tilt run across the open countryside, wind in your face, at one with the horse, the landscape blurring by on either side and then, oh no! your hat flies off. Not so awesome, eh?

Don't worry, it happens; the wind gets under the brim of the wretched hat and blows it off your head, and you have to stop everything to go back for the thing. But it doesn't have to be that way, all's not lost.

You can get a hat with a deep crown, unlike mine, and jam it on your head when you pick up speed. That may help, or you can attach a stampede string, or "chin strap," which will keep the hat on your head as long as you make sure the string's attached to the hat band. If you rely on bent cotter pins alone you might find that they straighten up under the pressure of the wind and off flies the hat as the string detaches.

Or you can try this. Turn down the sweatband at the back of the hat and discover that doing this makes a kind of suction, which grips the hat firmly onto your head, as if by magic. You can also pad out the sweatband to produce a tighter fit; that'd probably do in place of a string, but I haven't tried it.

If you want extra hat security, try using a string and the magic sweatband trick, it's worked for me. And if you're the kind of horseman that rides in a ball cap, you can attach it to your coat with a cord, paracord will do. When it comes off it dangles, annoyingly, but you don't lose it.

There. Problem, solution, and that's what this blog is all about.

Stay on the horse,

LSP

Worldwide Anglican Non-Communion Update!!

There you are, scanning the perimeter at first light, ears wide open for the slightest noise, which is an utter waste of time because of the sheer din of hundreds of birds roosting in the trees. ISIS could launch an assault on the Compound and you wouldn't hear it coming. Thanks a lot, birds. Then there's there's the dogs, the roosters and the peacocks. Get some peace and quiet in the countryside, that's what they said. Right.

Mountebank

Speaking of peace and quiet, some of you may remember the Worldwide Anglican Non-Communion (WANC) and its recent Primates Meeting, sorry "gathering," in Canterbury. That disciplined the egregiously heterodox Episcopal Church (TEC) for a period of three years, declaring that the rich but shrinking denomination wouldn't be allowed to represent WANC or vote in its councils.

Gay "We're Going to Lusaka" Jennings

I say disciplined, but the sanction was really more of an unspecified threat. Don't represent or vote and if you do we'll do... something. Unsurprisingly, TEC, which is richer than a trainload of Nazi gold but smaller, has decided to ignore the warning shot and carry on as usual by announcing its intention to take its seat on the Anglican Consultative Council (ACC), and vote accordingly.

Tengatenga...

We know this because the improbably named Bishop Tengatenga, who mysteriously changed his mind about gay marriage and chairs the ACC, has told us. “Are they going to vote? Yes, they are going to vote as it is their right and responsibility,” announced Tengatenga to the Seminary of the South at Sewanee. And the consequences? According to Tengatenga, nothing at all,  “(The) bottom line is that the Episcopal Church cannot be kicked out of the Anglican Communion and will never be kicked out of the Anglican Communion.”

Eliud Wabukala

That's what Tengatenga thinks along with, presumably, the Episcopal Church's leadership. Expect them to turn up at the ACC's meeting in Lusaka next month, business as usual. We should also expect the conservative majority of Anglican primates to add teeth to their agreed sanctions. That's indicated in Archbishop Eliud Wabukala's pastoral letter, which you can read here.

Justsin Welby

Who knows, perhaps TEC will put the train in reverse and simply act as an observer at the same ACC it's bought and paid for, but don't bet on it. A safer bet by far is that WANC will become even more of a non-communion than it already is.

Good luck, Justsin.

LSP