LSP - All Talk No Action?

So Where's The Action Buddy?

Yeah, so what about the new rig and the lever gun, so-called "LSP," if that's your real name, which we doubt. 

Good question, and right about now the readers of this popular if lighthearted mind blog are wondering if it's all talk and no action. Sure, you talk the talk, "LSP," but where's the walk?

Where's the fishing, the guns, the horses, where's all of that? Where's the country life we don't pay good money to see played out in real time, straight from a rural haven deep in the heart of Texas? Where is it? I'll tell you.

Shaolin Glory Brexit

First off, unexpected evolution with a returning son; there goes the rig and the gun. Secondly, recovering from being kicked off the back of an Arab, who btw self-identifies as a woman, and being tended to by a dog and a recruit. 

Will the leg heal in time to see the kid off to Basic? To find out I hopped and climbed into the rig and drove to Walmart. Guess what? No problem, couldn't have done it a week ago. So there is movement and this, philosophers, signifies life. Which in this instance is made up of small triumphs.

In other news, the European Union's setting up an Army! The world trembles at the dread step of the rainbow phalanx. Who knows, perhaps the enemy'll die laughing.

Advance to contact,

LSP 

Abductee Says Do Not Contact Evil Aliens

Alien abductee Daryl Sims has issued a dire warning to humanity in an explosive online interview, do not contact aliens because they are malevolent and evil con artists: 

"When people have a positive contact experience, that means you have accepted the program. Some people have died as a result of attempting alien contact while others have been injured. 

  They Come to Help!

"You will experience a feeling of awe and that the aliens are here to help the planet and all these wonderful things – none of which they have ever done."

Sims continued, stating that abductees have been kidnapped by space aliens and regret the experience, they "don't like what happens":

Off-World

"On the other hand, there is another group called alien abductees, who feel they have been kidnapped or taken without their will. These people often remember parts of the event, sometimes all of it and they don’t like what happens."

 A Typical Grey

Spokespersons for the Episcopal Church, Anglican Church of Canada, the Church of England and Pope Francis declined to comment.

Here at the Compound we urge extreme caution when interacting with extraterrestrials.

Ad Astra,

LSP

Baltimore

One of the problems with Baltimore is that it's a crime-infested, trash-filled, urban hellhole warzone where some 190 people have been killed this year.

Mr. Newman, in his classic '70s pop hit, states "the city's dying and it don't know why." Wrong, Randy. We know full well, NWO Illuminati asset-strippers allied with their useful idiots on the left did it or to put it simply, Black Caucus.

Trump called Elijah Cummings on this the other day and got pasted a racist for daring to criticize the rodent infested rathole that's presided over by a person of color. C'mon, who's fooled. That's not racist, more like realist. So look to your district, Cummings. 

But do you think he's capable? Here's a photo.

Your best friend,

LSP

Poor Baby!

I wasn't going to say Mass at Mission #2 two Sundays ago because a Mad Arab threw me off her back, resulting in three massive screws to the upper femur. So I called the MC and asked if he'd sorted out a supply priest. The conversation went like this.

"Hey, d'ye have a supply priest sorted out for Sunday?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"I was figuring you'd do it."

"How, I've got three enormous screws in my leg."

"Poor baby!"

This left me with one choice and one only. Get up. Get in the rig. Say the Mass. Good thing the recruit's on hand to drive, and by the way, the MC in question has a history of falling off horses.

Ride on,

LSP

Epstein Knew The Clintons

Former President Bill Clinton tells us he didn't know jailed pedophile millionaire Jeffrey Epstein very well. Perhaps that's why he rode the fabled Lolita Express 26 times, and why Epstein was there at the conception of the Clinton Global Initiative.

Chelsea Clinton doesn't know Eppy very well either, which is why Eppy's former  flame and procurement assistant, Ghislaine Maxwell, went to Chelsea's ritzy wedding. The two reportedly became pals on, you guessed it, a yacht. 

But that's all well and good. Eppy's been having a rough time of it since his July 6 arrest for sex trafficking. He's been denied bail, and found crying in a fetal position in his tiny cell with marks on his neck. Anyone might think he'd tried to commit suicide.

After all, he knew the Clintons, but will he survive to trial?

You be the judge,

LSP

The Chorus Of The Damned

Back by popular demand: two years of Russiagate coverage in two minutes | pic.twitter.com/vMekLDO3Kt

— Mike (@Doranimated) July 24, 2019

Behold the chorus of the damned. Thanks, Zero.

LSP

Life's Not Easy In The Village Of The Damned

Mueller's testimony was supposed to be a special moment of triumph, a death blow to Orange Man Bad. A hearing like no other, leading to Trump's impeachment and indictment for being literally Hitler, a brazen Russian spy. But no, it didn't work out that way.

"Caught off Guard, Mumbling, Bumbling, Stuttering, Confused, Doddering, Nervous — COMPLETELY LOST!"  shouted The Gateway Pundit, "Dazed And Confused," announced Drudge. "Stumbling, bumbling, unclear, dithering," commented Piers Morgan, and on.

In short, the Democrats' star turn was such an epic fail that even the libs had to admit as much. Here's Michael Moore:

A frail old man, unable to remember things, stumbling, refusing to answer basic questions...I said it in 2017 and Mueller confirmed it today — All you pundits and moderates and lame Dems who told the public to put their faith in the esteemed Robert Mueller — just STFU from now on

— Michael Moore (@MMFlint) July 24, 2019

What a disaster, the President just keeps on winning. Unlike his NWO, Illuminati, abortionist, open borders, Arkanciding, spirit cooking, comshill, MillSoc opposition. And it wasn't supposed to be that way, Satan promised better things, like a successful coup and mansions all 'round. 

Well hey, whoever said life'd be easy in the Village of the Damned? 

Cheers,

LSP

Turn Of The Screw

Turn of the screw, as in Epstein starts giving up Clinton state secrets and Comey sings under that good old Horowitz method? We wish, but no, it was all about driving to Waco to get staples out and x-rays on the hip to make sure everything was Trump Train according to plan.

Apparently it was, "Nothing crazy down there," observed an attractive radiologist before sending me upstairs to the staple shop. I grinned back, she was reassuring, and headed out to the next date with destiny.

A bored staple mechanic asked me to "stand over there," so I hopped over to a naugahyde examining couch and stood there, wondering what to do. "Look, I can't take them out if your shorts are in the way." I sorted that out, she set to with a handy pair of pliers and out they popped.

Then another medical professional swung by and gave me the run down. Nothing crazy down there, just three enormous screws holding my bone together. Start putting weight on the leg, exercise the muscles but listen to your body and sure, you can ride again if you're stupid. Do the screws go away? "No, you've bought them, they're yours."

I liked her for that and cleverly didn't say, "Yes, Ma'am, but aren't they a gift from Baylor to the Church?" And that was that. The Recruit wheeled me out of there and taxied us back to the Compound. 

And no, we didn't stop at Waco's fabled Silos. Why? Because they're overpriced rubbish. On a different and happier theme, the youngster ships out to Benning late August.

And that was troublesome to me, hurry up Army! But it's turned out for the best, as it goes. 

Stand firm against Satan's New World Order,

LSP

Born To Ride

I ended up saying two Masses today from the, ahem, walker and liked it. A week ago that wouldn't have been possible and now it is. So there's hope for us all.

Speaking of hope, perhaps you've noticed that Pedo Epstein's been denied bail; he's languishing in solitary while the Squad's busy making the Democrats look good. D'ye think he'll be trying to cut some kind of deal, and will it involve the Clintons who notoriously enjoyed the hospitality of Orgy Island, to say nothing of hedge funds.

Well, we'll see. In the meanwhile, more children than ever before in history ever have miraculously decided they don't belong to their biological gender, so they're lining up to get sex changes. Leaving aside the parental role in this new wave castration, are we living in the Village of the Damned?

Perhaps we are, in a society driven insane by Satan and the infernal illogic of the Pit. By contrast, be stable and steadfast in the Faith, and be sure that the gates of Hell won't prevail. 

Your Friend,

LSP

To The Moon You Transphobic Racists

"In archival Apollo 11 photos and footage, it’s a 'Where’s Waldo?' exercise to spot a woman or person of color," Washington Post.

Exactly. The epic endeavor to put a man on the moon wasn't only sexist but racist to boot. Here at the Compound we're trying to end this kind of systemic oppression, which is why we're asking:

Why wasn't Wernher von Braun a TRANS WOMAN OF COLOR!?! Answer me that, all you Operation Paperclip TRANSPHOBIC RACISTS.

Good thing we've got the four Horseclowns of the Goofocalypse to put things right, eh?

Selene,

LSP

Ahoy There!

Sometimes a picture's worth a thousand words. Please, someone, anyone, lock them all up.

Cheers,

LSP

Oh Look, it's ACoC!

Just when you thought ACoC (Anglican Church of Canada) had vanished forever into the icy void of deep space than she reappears, boldly "crossing the rainbow."

Keen-eyed xenologists will note ACoC's new top bishop figure, Linda Nicholls, at the back of the tiny church's procession. 

Take Me To Your Leader

Whether the small and getting smaller off-world denomination will attempt to establish a base on earth or return to the vacuum remains to be seen.

Ad Astra,

LSP