We Are Russian Bots

They're at it again. Not content with installing a spy as President of the United States, the Kremlin has unleashed an army of cyber bots to further subvert American democracy.

According to Senator Dianne Fienstein and Representative Adam Schiff, Russian bots are behind the exploding popularity of the hashtag #ReleaseTheMemo, which asks for evidence detailing top level FBI and Democrat Party corruption to be made public.

In a letter to Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey and Facebook Supremo Mark Zuckerberg, Fienstein and Schiff accuse the Russian bots of attempting to "intervene and influence our democratic process."

“If these reports are accurate, we are witnessing an ongoing attack by the Russian government through Kremlin-linked social media actors directly acting to intervene and influence our democratic process... Public reports indicate that accounts linked to the Russian government are again exploiting Twitter and Facebook platforms in an effort to manipulate public opinion."

This, they write to the tech titans "should be disconcerting to all Americans." 

Hold on. The reason why #ReleaseTheMemo is trending across social media is because the Russians and their dreaded bots did it? Or because Americans want to know if the FBI, the Department of Justice, the Hillary campaign and the Democrat party worked together in an illegal attempt to bring down an incoming President.

There's obviously nothing disconcerting about that at all, or the missing 50,000 texts or the secret society. No, no ordinary person would want to know anything about any of this, and I don't know about you but we're clearly Russian bots, here at the compound.

#ReleaseTheMemo

LSP

RELEASE THE MEMO

Imagine the scenario. Your party's in power and it wants to stay in power; more to the point you want power, it's like your birthright, your entitlement, but there's a problem, a rival. So what do you do?

You go Full FISA and use your captive intelligence agencies to obtain a phony warrant to spy on your opponent, based on evidence you paid for and then, when he beats you, launch a phony investigation into the phony crimes your phony evidence justified. 

All in the hope of destroying your rival's presidency and returning you to power. What are we dealing with here, a banana republic or America, or have the two become one?

Whatever the case, the House Intelligence Committee believes it possesses damning evidence of the above and you can read the document its 4 page memo is based on here, thanks AJ. In the meanwhile, why have 50,000 texts between Peter Strzok and his mistress, Lisa Page, gone missing?

Did the dog eat them, or would that be Hillary's friends in the FBI. For that matter, what's the "secret society" envisioned by Strozk and his paramour. 

Surely not a secret society of Hillary favoring spooks, dedicated to the overthrow of democracy via a phony "Russians hacked the election" narrative.

But lest ironic hubris catch the reader unaware, it's Russia's fault. Russian bots, to be precise.

Tick, Tock, release the memo.

MAGA,

LSP

Melania Mondays!

Just because legions of DC paper pushers are taking a holiday thanks to vote hungry Democrats doesn't mean America's popular and glamorous First Lady takes a break. Far from it, Melania took to social media this weekend to say how much she's enjoyed her first year as FLOTUS.

"This has been a year filled with many wonderful moments. I’ve enjoyed the people I’ve been lucky enough to meet throughout our great country & the world!" 

The people of America have enjoyed the First Lady too and weren't shy to say so on Twitter. For example:

"Thank you Melania for gracing our White House with your elegance, quiet strength, intelligence, gentle loving spirit and love for God and this country. We have needed you for a very long time!!"

"You have been a great and unique, blessed addition to @realDonaldTrump @POTUS Presidency. We are grateful for all U do especially for America and for loving the American people who have been badly mistreated during last 8 years. G-D Bless you. EB."

"From the moment you stepped on the national stage you have brought grace & style to your position. Everywhere you travel you make us proud as a people. You have endured much unfair criticism which you rise above. Thank you for all you do, gracious First Lady of our land."

"Thank u dear Melania. You bring such grace and beauty with u every where u go as u represent America. We r so thankful. God Bless You."

However, some compared the stylish former model and devout catholic unfavourably to her predecessor, Michelle Obama. Here at Melania Mondays! we leave you to be the judge of that.

Well done Melania, for doing your part to make America great again and happy anniversary!

MAGA,

LSP

Hog Poetry!

Here it is readers, the latest Hog Poetry.

Nor do we merely feel these essences
For one short hour; no, even as the hogs
That root round a temple become soon
Dear as the temple's self, so does the moon,
The reticule illuminate, glories infinite,
Haunt us till they become a cheering light
Unto our souls, and bound to us so fast,
That, whether there be swine, or gloom o'ercast;
They always must be with us, and hogs die. 

Carry on,

LSP

Mimetic Sunday

We've all been to Mass and worshiped God and quite right too, but now it's time to kick back and enjoy a couple of memes.

Handy Adolf

#SellOurDaughters

And here's an icon, because it's Sunday.

God bless,

LSP

Shutdown? Hold The Line

Well said, General Mattis and here's an infographic.

Hold the line,

LSP

Guns And Meat

It's important to visit the flock and with that in mind I drove out into the great frozen steppe of North Central Texas. Once it was home to bucolic groves of mesquite and cactus but now all that remains is icy tundra and the sad debris of broken solar arrays, a mute testament to one state's failure to pay the Weather Tax.

Sobered by the chill dystopian wasteland, I crunched over the permafrost of my friend's drive, ever thankful of the warming insulation of a pair of Merrells. And there was the Captain, hosing down two empty freezers. We talked, drank coffee and enjoyed a firearms show and tell, which included a Chinese SKS.

"Nice weapon," I commented, sighting down the Chicom beast at a deer feeder 100 yards away. "It's yours, Merry Christmas, padre!" exclaimed the Captain, who then loaded up a cooler with venison, pig and wild turkey. "All yours!"

Then it was time to head back to the Compound, struck by the generosity, eager to try out the latest rifle and defrost some meat. There's plenty.

In related news, some place in Switzerland has refused to grant a vegan citizenship because she was "too annoying."

God bless and big thanks, Captain.

LSP

Bishops Abandon ACoC!

Do you remember ACoC, the tiny Canadian Anglican franchise? Perhaps not, you've been busy watching Ice Ice Baby on a continuous loop. But press pause and listen up; ACoC's bishops are abandoning their dimunitive denomination in droves.

ACoC Bishop Figures

Archbishop Fred Hiltz, ACoC supremo, has announced his resignation. Michael Bird, Bishop of Niagara, Colin Johnson of Toronto, Donald Phillips of Rupert's Land and now Archbishop Privett of Kootenay and The People, have all told the world they're Xing out of ACoC.

Why are these bishop figures leaving the church they helped to destroy build? Here's Samizdat:

Time We Left This Planet

They are all liberal and heartily endorse same-sex marriage. Why have they all decided to leave now? Do they know something we don’t about the fate of the ACoC? Are they concerned that there is no future for them in the ACoC because they are all heterosexual? Have they reached that stage in life when ambition yields to the sad realisation that all the ecclesiastical mayhem that can possibly be inflicted on the Anglican Communion in one lifetime has already been wrought during their climb up the greasy clerical pole?

Return To The Source!

All good questions but let's apply Occam's Razor. Could it be that, work done, the Mothership is calling them home?

Food for thought, eh?

LSP

ICE ICE Baby

It seems Texas has a new anthem. Thanks 'Horse. (RHSM)

As you were,

LSP

ICE

Was it celestial outrage over the British Army's new ad campaign, heavenly anger at the MillSoc antics of Moby and Sean Penn or just our old enemy, the weather, getting back at Texas for failing to pay a tribute tax? Who knows but for whatever reason, ice began to fall from the sky last night.

Apocalypse

It started off as freezing rain, driven by icy blasts of bonesplitting wind that swept the porch as though it were the open bridge of a ship in a winter gale. Then the rain turned to ice, followed by tiny shards of snow. 

Sure, if this was Calgary everyone would be heaving a sigh of relief at the warmth of it all but this is Texas and -9+ is something to be conjured with, to say nothing of Sky Ice.

Eschaton

The day dawned to a scene of frozen stasis. Nothing moved except a man and a blue dog on their way to the Pick 'n Steal, which was miraculously open. Then it hit me, an epiphany or eureka moment. Go to Walmart and buy a butt roast and slow cook that porcine beast until it's fall off the bone tender. And that's what I did.

The End of The World

Walmart was empty, you could fire off a canon and not hit anyone, but the pork was there. It's rubbed and ready for the Compound's oven, while we clean weapons, load magazines and dare the Weather to do its worst.

Invictus,

LSP

New British Army Ads, Some Kind Of Joke?

Some say that Gloucestershire is God's Own County, others say it's Yorkshire or somewhere else. Whatever the case, the Gloucestershire Regiment's no more; it was amalgamated with the Hampshires, becoming the "Hampsters" and then disappeared.

I think that's a shame, not least because of the history of the thing. Back to back at Alexandria, fight till the bullets run out at Imjin Hill and all the rest, which made the Glosters the Glorious Glosters or "Mess Tin Heads," depending on your preference. You can take pride in that but no more, it's gone.

Of course the British Army's about a different kind of pride these days. (thanks for the heads up, LL) You never know, when the enemy attacks our rainbow warriors they might die laughing.

Great Britain is apparently preparing for a new kind of war, a war in which gay Muslims defend the realm against... against what? Judy Garland?

All the way to the Emerald City,

LSP

So Just Who Is Moby?

So who is "Moby", the elusive vegan Millionaire Socialist behind the CIA's attempt to bring down President Trump?

Gwen, center, holding Moby

Moby is a pop genius superstar worth a paltry $32 million. He once appeared alongside Gwen Steffani and went to the Southside, which was pretty MAGA.

Then he went anti-MAGA and produced a pop video about rainbow colored bears. Was that before, during or after his involvement with the Central Intelligence Agency? 

Is Moby a schizophrenic? Or just a pencil neck beta cuck?

You, the reader, be the judge.

Your Old Pal,

LSP