Guns And Meat

It's important to visit the flock and with that in mind I drove out into the great frozen steppe of North Central Texas. Once it was home to bucolic groves of mesquite and cactus but now all that remains is icy tundra and the sad debris of broken solar arrays, a mute testament to one state's failure to pay the Weather Tax.

Sobered by the chill dystopian wasteland, I crunched over the permafrost of my friend's drive, ever thankful of the warming insulation of a pair of Merrells. And there was the Captain, hosing down two empty freezers. We talked, drank coffee and enjoyed a firearms show and tell, which included a Chinese SKS.

"Nice weapon," I commented, sighting down the Chicom beast at a deer feeder 100 yards away. "It's yours, Merry Christmas, padre!" exclaimed the Captain, who then loaded up a cooler with venison, pig and wild turkey. "All yours!"

Then it was time to head back to the Compound, struck by the generosity, eager to try out the latest rifle and defrost some meat. There's plenty.

In related news, some place in Switzerland has refused to grant a vegan citizenship because she was "too annoying."

God bless and big thanks, Captain.

LSP

It's Bushcraft Wednesday!

Bushcraft is a skill, the skill of living and surviving in the wild, and part of that means hunting for your food. But sometimes the hunter becomes the hunted.

With that in mind, Team LSP is pleased to present this infovideo as a cautionary tale. We hope you find it useful.

Be prepared,

LSP

Cooking, Yet Again, With LSP

Glock & Salmon

What, you cook with LSP? That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard! You say incredulously. But it's true, a lot of cooking goes on at the Compound because the Team's got to eat and they want to improve their marksmanship. That's where quail and venison come in.

Everyone knows that quail and venison make you a better shot, it's settled science, but how do you cook these two aids to ballistic excellence? It's not hard.

Quail & Sig

Make yourself a Glock and Salmon starter, then get some quail that you or one of your pals has shot. Salt and pepper the diminutive birds, fill their cavity with a lemon wedge, then wrap them in bacon. Put the finished result on a baking tray and preheat your oven to 500*. That's right, get that oven hot.

Quail

As you master this tricky task, skin some potatoes and carrots, put them in pots of water and boil them. It's easy, when you know how. Veg on, wait for a while, there's no rush, then put some spicy venison sausage into an iron skillet and apply heat. 

Oven Ready

About 30 minutes from the time you put the veg on, put the quail in the oven for 12 or 13 minutes, no longer. Take the birds out, cover them with foil and let them rest; they're just fine, don't mess with them. As they're finishing off, mash the potatoes, remove the sausage from the skillet and make some gravy in it. I like chopped garlic, white wine, chicken stock and flour. That's one way to do it.

A Knife And Some Garlic

Simmer the gravy and enjoy the aroma, reflect upon the perfidy of Shillary and the GOP establishment, whatever, play some Motorhead; if needs be, reheat the veg. Then put it all together. Two birds a person, extra bacon on the side, sausage, veg and gravy.

Then eat your scoff like a hero and congratulate yourself on a job well done. You'll shoot better the next day, it's been proven, settled science. And that's cooking.

With,

LSP

You Plinker!

Some say that a dinner of roast quail and venison sausage, rifle to table, helps you shoot better the next day at the range. I drove out into the Texan countryside with my philisophical pal, GWB, to find out.

We took along a couple of scoped Ruger .22s, an American and a 10/22, representing the bolt and the semi side of the rimfire world. And a couple of pistols, a Sig and a Glock, chambered for 9mm and .45. But what about the quail and venison theory of marksmanship, how did that stand up, in the real world?

If a metal kettle, a plastic Folgers container, steel plates and turkey, at 75 and 100 yards, are anything to go by, the theory holds true. Down went the opposition, with a vengeance. I claim the best pistol shot of the day, hitting the kettle at 75 yards with the Glock. Sorry, kettle, you lose. I never much liked you anyway.

Shoot over, GWB wanted to check out the land behind the range for what he calls "native Texan grasses." That excitement over, I spotted a piece of metal, shining in the hot spring sun. "Look at that, you see it, glinting in the sun?" I asked my Wittgensteinian ally, "Maybe it's a piece of UFO debris. Let's have a look."

It wasn't a bit of space junk, annoyingly, just an old air conditioner that someone had dumped. And as I reflected on the higher implications of that, a long rattlesnake uncoiled silently from beneath the rusting metal and made its way, gliding and deadly, into a nearby pipe. Moral of the story?

Quail and venison help you shoot. This is now settled science. Also, don't be a dimwit when you go for a nature ramble in Texas, it's not Devon, or the Cotswolds. Take a gun, you might need it, and be careful poking around in space junk, who knows what killers might lurk within.

Shoot straight,

LSP

Pistols at Night

I visited some church people the other night and blessed their compound. Then, after a delicious dinner of grilled to perfection venison, looked out at the stars from their back deck. It was tranquil, being out there in the country air without the noise and light pollution of the city.

And a good environment to open fire with a pistol on an old oil drum. Behold the explosive power of pistols at night! Great fun, not that I'm, ahem, childish or anything...

Thanks, D&L, for the hospitality.

Gun rights,

LSP