Tree Hippies

Because this is a sustainable, green issue, eco-blog we're delighted to present Tree Hippies.

Here at the Compound we hope you find it as powerful as we do and, to quote one expert, "Ladies, if your boyfriend can't run a chain saw, you have a girlfriend."

We are stardust,

LSP

Tree Hugger Down

If you're not too busy getting hacked by the Russians, check out this neat tree hugger infovideo.

Cheers,

LSP

This Town's On The Up

For something like a year now, our lying, corrupt, elite, mendacious, venal, smug, cheating, rude mainstream media has worked around the clock to prove Moscow altered the course of history and won Trump the 2016 election. 

Of course they haven't uncovered any evidence, apart from a lawyer who was allowed into the country by the Obama DOJ, and the Church of England which was filmed disappearing into a portal.

Texas Yeti

Still, it pays to be prepared for any eventuality and, as a prepper, I took Blue Vigilant along with me to the Pick 'n Steal this morning, just in case we were attacked by marauding Kremlins. Blue Semper Paratus stood guard while I bought some strong coffee. Did it go into a Texas Yeti? Yes, it did.

This made the coffee taste all the better and I reflected on that as we patrolled back to the Compound. You see, it's not just the coffee that seems to be on the uptick, the town itself is revitalizing. Seriously.

Putting America Back to Work

Houses are being fixed up, two new restaurants have opened on the town square, a pub is about to open and so is a coffee shop. Even the venerable Compound's about to get a facelift, if the Mexican painting crew ever shows up.

Long story short, people are investing in this small Texan farming community. Maybe we should thank Russia for making sure Mr. Trump won the election.

MAGA,

LSP

Russians Hack Church of England?

Shocking new evidence appears to show the small but aggressively transsexual Church of England disappearing into a portal in Yakutia, Russia, leading experts to claim that the venerable denomination has been hacked by the Kremlin.

Video footage shows the diminutive Church rising into the Russian sky before vanishing into a "portal."

The Church of England disappearing into a portal

"The strange video, seeming to show the Church of England full of lights in the night sky, has emerged in media circles in Yakutia, the largest region in Russia," stated one UFOlogist, "The small object is then swallowed by a portal. I think it was hacked."

Yakutia is famous for its diamonds, which may have drawn the cash-strapped CofE to the Russian wilderness. 

Artist's impression

Reports of the numerically challenged denomination disappearing altogether have come in from several countries, including Canada, New Zealand and America. 

A typical Russian hacker

However, when questioned about Russian hacking, Lambeth Palace declined to comment.

Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby

Archbishop Justin Welby was last seen pawning episcopal regalia on Detroit's notorious 8 Mile Road.

Space is Deep,

LSP

All Hail Texas!

Here at the Compound we set great store by great art; it's one of the factors that distinguishes us from the beasts, one of the hallmarks of civilization itself.

The above installation is simply entitled All Hail Texas! Parse it as you will but we think it speaks for itself.

Arduus ad Solem,

LSP

Crime And Punishment

In Canada, they tell me, it's illegal. You can't make criminals who've offended against society repay their debt and make amends by working for the community they've offended against.

That, for Canadians, is apparently cruel and wicked. But not in Texas.

Here they get to go in a chain gang in the back of the Brookshire's supermarket. 

They also have to wear striped trousers so that everyone knows they're a criminal, as they work in the brisk Texan 100* heat.

Shades of George Clooney, perhaps? Now, ask yourself, what kind of punishment would fit such a crime?

Lake Como forever.

LSP

Melania Mondays!

Some people don't like Mondays, like the miserable, aging superstar pop legend, Bob Geldof, they want to shoot the whole day down. 

Here at the Compound we want to change that, which is why we're bringing you yet another uplifting episode in the popular series, Melania Mondays! And what a week it's been in the life of America's glamorous First Lady.

Yet again, Melania turned heads and dazzled abroad, this time on a trip to Europe and the G20 Summit. Not only that, the former Yugoslavian model struck a blow for detente in meetings with Vladimir Putin, obviously impressing the Russian strongman.

Ever maternal, the First Lady even took time time be with children, congratulating one youngster on their clever creation of a 3d printed high heeled shoe.

Unsurprisingly, Melania is soaring in the polls and who can blame the punters? Consider the alternative. Remember this?

Beautiful, wasn't it. Things have changed now, fortunately.

Thank you, Melania, for doing your part to make America great again.

MAGA.

LSP

Church of England Possessed by Rainbow Trans Demon?

Is the venerable but shrinking Church of England possessed by a rainbow trans demon? Evidence suggests that it is.

The declining denomination's decision makers, meeting in York, have voted four to one in favor of the small but influential Church adopting special trans naming ceremonies. 

These are worship rituals which celebrate and bless the new identity of a transsexual, including their name. For example, when Stephanie becomes Steve, she gets a blessing and so does Steve, when he fluidly transitions to Stephani. 

While the small and getting smaller Church of England encourages people to have sex changes by blessing the transition, it draws short at calling the new rituals Baptism. 

According to the BBC, “Such a service would not be a second baptism, however, as the Church’s teaching is that humans are made in the image of God – transcending gender – and baptism takes place only once.”

While equality advocates deplore the tiny denomination's refusal to fully acknowledge the new identity of transpersons by Baptism, they're encouraged by the Church's ban on "conversion therapy." The York Synod has even asked the UK's government to take steps to forbid the practice:

The Church of England has called on the government to ban conversion therapy and has condemned the practice, which aims to change sexual orientation, as unethical and potentially harmful.

Because the ancient but badly attended Church of England is possessed by a rainbow trans demon, persons of the gender fluid hive collective don't need conversion therapy when they get their sex change.

Over the rainbow,

LSP

Ride On

It was a pretty normal Saturday morning in this bucolic rural haven; strong coffee on the front porch and Morning Prayer, straight from the '28 BCP and thank you very much. But no sooner had I finished the Office than I heard the clatter of shod hooves and there was a column of horsemen moving briskly down the road, just a block off my position.

Some of the riders peeled off from the main body of horse and passed by the Compound. Why, what was it all about? I have no idea but the concept's good, get on your horse and canter about the town, which is something I've been wanting to do for a while. After all, this is Texas.

In other news, Melania's been turning heads in Europe, more of that on Monday, another "man" is giving birth to a child and there's been some sort of awfulness in a Vatican apartment and at St. Paul's, Knightsbridge.

Ride on,

LSP

Get On The Striper

I'll be honest, I've never been on a guided Striper expedition until today and I was wondering, at 0-Dark-Thirty, if it was worth the predawn call to rods. I needn't have worried.

I was immediately impressed by our guide, Pat, and his workmanlike boat, which had that air of I know what we're doing, you're going to catch fish, gentlemen, and sure enough we did.

After motoring out a short way into the gargantuan inland sea that is Lake Whitney, we anchored off an underwater point which showed an abundance of bait fish on the Hummingbird. Then he patiently explained the tactics. 

"Drop the line to the bottom and come up three cranks," he had the depth spot on, "Then put the rod in the holder and wait. When you get a hit, wait and wait again, patience, let that Striper take it down. Then he's yours, reel him in. Here, I'll bait your hook."

One live Shad three cranks up and I didn't have long to wait before the rod was bending double off the boat. Pick it up and wrestle with the mighty Striper, surging and fighting like the predator it is. But  14LB test and a sharp Kahle #3 proved too much for the Leviathan and up he came into the boat and a waiting cooler.

This went on, again and again, until we'd all limited out, after about an hour. Brisk action, I tell you, and it got to the point where Bass were hitting the bait on the way down, steam-training into the Shad with prehistoric aggression. 

It was like Jaws, especially when the monsters dived under the boat. Would it capsize and the hunters become the hunted? That didn't happen, fortunately, and all too soon it was time to head back to the marina where Pat cleaned the fish and I have to say, you couldn't wish for a better guide.

Needless to say, there's no shortage of fish in the fridge.

Tight lines,

LSP

Get On Parade!

This small farming community starts of Independence Day celebrations with a parade. 

The town turns out early to watch floats, horse buggies, ATVs, golf carts, tractors, game wardens, police, fire department and more. And lucky children get to pick up candy and popsicles thrown from the passing vehicles. Everyone's happy.

That's because everyone loves a parade and, in a perfect LSP world, the local militia would have marched along to the sound of drums, pipes and brass. Or, come to think of it, a squadron of cavalry would've been even better. As it was, there were a couple of riders on well turned out horses. 

A great result and small expression of something very American and good. Not that Blue Defender understood what was going on; I had to lock him inside the Compound where he growled at the passing "threats." Well done, fur-head.

Then the parade had passed and people went off to their homes to grill out and enjoy their freedom from the tyranny of England. And that's what I'll be doing, firing up the Weber and getting down to the serious business of hamburgers with the young 'un.

Have a great 4th!

LSP

Gone To The Dogs

You may not have heard that Prince Rupert of the Rhine's battle dog, Boy, was believed to be a witch's familiar. Boy was shot with a silver bullet by superstitious puritan fanatics at the unfortunate battle of Marston Moor.

My dog, Blue Royalist, isn't a witch's familiar but has run the risk of being shot for stealing fried pies, steak, cheese, butter(!) and the occasional chicken. Not very SKCM but we'll let it pass, for now.

Blue isn't going fishing this afternoon, he is staying at the Compound to guard the position against intruders, malfeasants and the various flotsam and jetsam of post-Obama America.

Tight lines,

LSP