Llandaff UFO Sighting

Welsh skywatchers are baffled after sightings of what appears to be a UFO, hovering over Llandaff's ancient cathedral.

"It was a very clear night and the lights were directly above me," stated one witness, "They were not moving at all. I counted five in a curve like a mothership, above the cathedral, plus two which were not part of the curve. There was a similar sighting in Bristol."

Others, such as Residentiary Canon, Gareth Hunt, aren't convinced.

"The lights aren't a UFO, they're Chinese diversity lanterns which were released into the night sky as a special welcome to Llandaff's new bishop, June Osborne," said Canon Hunt, "She's an incredibly talented senior clergyperson and we're thrilled that 'Mother' June will be our next bishop."

Canon Hunt's Chinese lantern theory was angrily dismissed by one Cardiff resident, Gwyn Etherington.

"Look, I am totally sick to death of people saying these are Chineese [sic] lanterns, some maybe, but not all. I personally believe in this UFO because I have seen it myself, with my girlfriend and even with my own dad. No way was it a Chinese lantern or some bishop figure!"

UFO, Chinese diversity lanterns, or fantastically qualified senior female clergyperson? You, the reader, be the judge.

Your Old Pal,

LSP

Lift High The Cross

The ISIS caliphate is gradually being driven back from Christian towns in Iraq, such as  Qaraqosh, near Mosul, where a large Cross was erected to celebrate the town's liberation.

The Cross, sponsored by a French charity, SOS Chretiens Orient, was blessed today in the presence of militia from the Christian Nineveh Protection Units (NPU) and the town's Christian population hope to return and rebuild their churches.

In the meanwhile, ask yourself why the governments of what used to be known as the free world were silent in the face of the head-chopping savages of the ISIS Caliphate's attempted Christian genocide in Iraq.

Ask yourselves, too, why our lying, hypocritical, smug, elite media were silent when Mohammedan fanatics murdered, tortured, raped and enslaved tens of thousands of Middle Eastern Christians. To be fair, The Atlantic covered Qaraqosh's liberation in April. Still, the silence of the secularists was and is deafening. 

Imagine, if you can, the roar of outrage from the governments and media of the West if Christians had been the perpetrators of these atrocities. But no, the murderers were Muslims and that religion, the beneficent religion of peace, gets a pass every time.

Pray that the NPU and others like them roll back the killers of the Caliphate and lift the Cross high in Iraq's ancient Christian communities.

God bless,

LSP

Fyre, Teach You To Burn

Rich party goers were badly burned at Ja Rules' and Billy McFarland's exclusive VIP festival, Fyre, in the Bahamas.

Swine 

Rich ravers, who paid $10,000 a ticket for admittance to the exclusive island party, were greeted with wild dogs, refugee tents and soggy cheese sandwiches, instead of the luxury hedonism they'd been promised.

12K

Disaster. And now they're suing Ja Rules and Billy in a class action lawsuit to recoup some of their lost pocket change. Fyre? We'll teach you to burn, is their motto.

Fyre Fare

Will rich party people turn loss into profit in this unedifying spectacle of elitocracy run disappointed in the Bahamian sands?

Here at the Compound, we're working the slides of our Glocks and asking, is 3 am eternal? 

Stand by the JAMs,

LSP

May Day

It's May Day, and the millionaire socialist bi-coastal elites are busy plotting how to spend other people's money. 

Millionaire Yale Socialists

Notice it's never their own and I won't say a word about the recent budget's failure to account for a Wall.

C'mon, Yale Snowflakes, the Wall's Not Gonna Build Itself!

Speaking of which, here at the Compound we're stockpiling food, water, ammo and hi-grade sterling. Who knows when all of these things will prove useful. Semper paratus is our motto.

Yet Another Yale Infographic

In other news, Yale snowflakes have staged a hunger strike, prompting their colleagues in the hallowed halls of academe to hold a BBQ.

I guess that'd be justified and ancient.

Mu,

LSP

The Genius of Scripture

Inspired by a Sunday Sermonette, I feel compelled to share this passage of Scripture, it's from the Book of Kings:

And he went up from thence unto Bethel: and as he was going up by the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head. And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the LORD. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tear forty and two children of them. (2 Kings 23-24)

Make of that what you will.

God bless,

LSP

The Road To Emmaus

If you haven't been too busy reading the excellent Malochio of Bodie, you may have noticed that today's Gospel was the Road to Emmaus. Here we find the risen Christ progressively revealing Himself to Cleopas and his companion as they walk away from the heavenly city, Jerusalem. 

He does so through Word and Sacrament. But note this, the turning point in the Gospel and the disciples' journey of recognition occurs when they near their destination and constrain Jesus to stay with them and eat. Then, in the confection of the Eucharist, the scales fall from the the disciples' eyes and they see Christ for who He is; the Word who has expounded the word becomes Flesh.

So with us. If we're to recognize the risen Lord we have to open our hearts to Him in faith and then the guest becomes the host, serving us the word of of truth and salvation and the bread of everlasting life.

To be fair, I didn't do this remarkably powerful Gospel justice but the people seemed to like the message.

"Good sermon, padre," said one cowboy as we sat in his ranch office after Mass. "Thanks, chief, I appreciate it," I replied, looking at an old saddle that was stood up next to a holstered 30-30. "That's a relay saddle," explained my friend, whose father had ridden the rails from Montana to Texas in the '30s to cowboy. Then, as we left the HQ, he pointed out another saddle with hooded stirrups, or Tapederos. 

I picked up handful of scarred leather, "The guy I ride with out of Aquilla uses these."

"Makes sense when you're moving through mesquite and brush."

"Right, like chaps," I observed, thoughtfully, "Not to be confused with the kind of chaps you might find in, say, Oak Lawn, Dallas."

My colleague, who's forgotten more horsemanship than I'll ever know, snorted, "Ain't that the truth," and we climbed into the Gator and got back on the road.

I file this edifying tale under God, Guns, Church and Country Life in Texas. And you know what, there's nothing wrong with that, at all.

Ride on,

LSP

Miserable Offenders

It sounds simple and it should be simple. As the heat climbs ever higher, turn on the AC and enjoy the cooling blast of chilled air. 

That's the myth. The reality is you turn on the air and all you get is a groan and a hiss as the temperature in the house approaches ovenlike intensity. 

Broken Rubbish

What do you do when that happens? Get out the fans, open the large screened windows and start to melt while you call the HVAC tech. But hey, whoever said the War on Weather'd be easy?

El Nino Will Build The Wall

Speaking of which, Senator Ted Cruz has sensibly suggested that we use El Nino's confiscated millions to build the much-needed border wall. Good call.

Your Old Pal,

LSP

Tooth Puller

A typical dentist street scene

Some people write books and edit and publish them, others ride, shoot and fish. Others again spend all their time at the dentist.

His teeth are fine

I fall into the latter category as the ongoing saga of new teeth continues. Like life itself it's a process, and hopefully an upwards movement towards perfection. But my advice to you is this.

Keep your teeth, if you can.

LSP

What a Clown

Bruce Jenner street art is appearing all over Hollywood, depicting the scary looking transsexual as the sinister clown Pennywise in Stephen King's horror story IT.

The frightening street art followed Jenner's interview with Diane Sawyer, on 20/20, in which the millionaire celebrity threatened the President.

“The deal breaker is," stated Jenner, "you mess with my community, you do the wrong thing with our community, you don’t give us equality and a fair shot, I’m coming after you."

Typically Awesome Sabo Art

Jenner is famous being awarded the coveted Woman of the Year award by Vanity Fair even though he's a man.

Sabo is famous for being awesome.

I'm off fishing.

God bless,

LSP

Dance, it's Earth Day!

University Church Dance Ministry Earth Day 2014 from University Church on Vimeo.

It's Earth Day, and what better way to celebrate than with dance, liturgical dance! Or even an elemental earth healing ritual. If you do, don't forget the Setting:

Set the altar with a bowl of seeds, a cup or muffin cup with soil for each participant, a small glass of water for each participant, wind chimes, and a candle. You will use the soil, water, chimes, and candle during the section “Women Crying out for Justice.” Each participant will plant seeds in the soil as s/he shares during the reflection time, then take them home to plant. You may also want to add Earth Day objects to your altar that are important to you or your group.

Once you've got all that in place you can Call the  Elements, like this:

(Face East, raise your arms above your head.)
Oh Great Spirit of the East, House of Light and the rising sun, May the new life of spring blossom in usSo we may start each day anew, and be renewed.

(Face North, cross your arms in front of your chest and sway from side to side.)
Oh Great Spirit of the North, House of Night and falling rain, May the cold and uncertain winters in our lives strengthen us So we may be ready to welcome spring, and be renewed.

Beautiful, isn't it? And there's plenty more, check it out. But here's a thought, as you're swaying from side to side in front of your womyn's altar. 

It's all a right larf until you wake up in a Wicker Man. And it's on fire.

Gaia Rules,

LSP 

Cooking With LSP, Toad in the Hole

"Cooking with LSP is as dangerous as it's absurd," you mutter darkly to yourself. But not so fast, it's possible and here's how.

Get hold of a large iron pot, a mixing bowl, some flour, a pack of Johnson's Original Brats, if you can't find English bangers, eggs and milk. Then bask in the cost-effective simplicity of the ingredients. Well done, you're making Toad in the Hole; cheap and simple, nothing fancy and mighty tasty. 

Self-congratulatory reverie over, make the batter by mixing up a cup of flour, 3 eggs and 1 1/4 cups of milk in your bowl, the consistency should be smooth. Add a pinch of salt and set the mix aside in the fridge as you preheat an oven to 425. Have a glass of wine in the interim, or not. There's no rule.

Next step, pour some oil in the iron pot, add the sausages and fry until golden brown, for about 10 minutes. Watch them hiss and spit like defeated Democrats, then take your batter from the fridge, nicely chilled, and pour it directly over the sausages. (NB. some experts set the sausages aside, pour some batter in a hot pan to make a base, let it cook for 5 minutes, then add sausages and the rest of the batter. )

It won't look pretty. But don't freak out like a Spirit-Cooking Podesta staring down the barrel of emailgate, just put the whole thing in the oven, uncovered, and let it cook for 25 minutes.

After its stint in the oven, take the pot out and stare in amazement at the batter which has risen up around the sausages. Congratulations, you've made Toad in the Hole.

Cut it up and serve with onion gravy and vegetables. Then eat your scoff like a warrior.

And that's cooking with...

LSP

What A Carry On

Unlike our enemy, Satan, I decided to take a couple of days off after Easter to do my very best at doing nothing at all. And look what happened.

Bill O'Reilly gets the Order of the Boot, Julian Assange is apparently being threatened by the Justice Department and the Religion of Peace decided to cook off in Paris, yet again. Why? Because it's so peaceful, obviously.

You see what happens when you take your hand off the wheel? Disaster. Meanwhile, the world wants to know, so-called Justice Department. Why are you going after Assange instead of Hillary Clinton? She's still at large, inexplicably, even though she is a notorious criminal.

In other exciting news, we're making Toad in the Hole (English style) or TITH, here at the Compound, but that's another story again.

God bless,

LSP