Some Kind Of Pathetic Joke

 

Keen-eyed observers of the Anglican scene will have noticed that the Church of Wales, led by Archbishop figure "Cherry" Vann has given the green light for same-sex blessing rituals to be added to their rainbow spell book Book of Common Prayer.

According to the Living Church (TLC), the vote to include gay worship rituals was approved by a two thirds majority in the tiny denom's Governing Body and Cherry was all about it. No wonder, she's a lesbian who lives with Wendy Diamond, a retired Council worker, go figure. Here's the TLC:

“We want everybody to be able to hold their views with integrity whilst not losing sight of the image of God that resides in all of us. We want to build a church that can make space for each other whatever our different perspectives.”

Archbishop Vann has been together with Wendy Diamond, a retired council employee, for 30 years. They entered a civil partnership in 2015. Vann had kept their relationship quiet in church circles until she became Bishop of Monmouth in 2020.

“For years we kept our relationship secret because I worried about waking up and finding myself outed on the front page of a newspaper,” Vann said in The Guardian. “Now, Wendy joins me everywhere, and when I take services, it’s just normal. But in England she had to stay upstairs if I had a meeting in the house.”

 

Yeah, "space for each other." Unless, of course, you're an actual Christian who believes in the revealed Word of God and the Apostolic teaching of the Church, neither of which in any way sanction the unfortunately named Cherry's preferred and unrepentant mode of life. C'mon, Cherry, don't try to let yourself off the hook by redefining your imperfection out of existence in the name of love, of all things.

When you think on it, dear readers, using "love" as as a blanket term get out of jail free card comes dangerously close to the sin against the Holy Spirit, who is Love in Person. What can we say? Father, forgive them for they know not what they do, we hope. Leaving aside culpable ignorance, you'll be unsurprised to know that the Church of Wales has shrunk by a something like 30% since 2004 and now stands at a risible 29,301 worshippers on any given Sunday.

At this rate it'll be almost entirely gone in a generation, and you know what they say, fight against the Holy Spirit and be relentlessly destroyed by that same Spirit. Leo, take note.

Your Pal,

LSP

Archbishop Of Wales Captured On Camera

Welsh schoolchildren got the fright of their lives when they met the Archbishop of Wales, John Davies, a few days before Easter after the Archbishop landed in a field outside Haverfordwest, Pembrokshire.

"It was terrifying," stated student spokesperson, Rhys Morgan, "At first we saw bright lights floating above Market Street and thought it was a UFO. Then it landed and out came the Archbishop. We asked him if he believed in the resurrection and he said, 'I don't think any of us actually knows, frankly.' Then he climbed back in his spaceship and flew off. We were scared out of our wits!"

However, while the frightened schoolchildren believe they saw the Archbishop of Wales, paranormal expert, Gareth Hunt, isn't convinced. "It looks like the Archbishop but it could be a fly on the lens, a hang-glider, or a simple camera malfunction. We can't jump to conclusions."

Archbishop Davies succeeded Barry Morgan in September, 2017, who was often spotted by UFO enthusiasts above the coastal towns of Borth and Aberystwyth as well as the Bristol Channel.

Ad Astra,

LSP

Llandaff UFO Sighting

Welsh skywatchers are baffled after sightings of what appears to be a UFO, hovering over Llandaff's ancient cathedral.

"It was a very clear night and the lights were directly above me," stated one witness, "They were not moving at all. I counted five in a curve like a mothership, above the cathedral, plus two which were not part of the curve. There was a similar sighting in Bristol."

Others, such as Residentiary Canon, Gareth Hunt, aren't convinced.

"The lights aren't a UFO, they're Chinese diversity lanterns which were released into the night sky as a special welcome to Llandaff's new bishop, June Osborne," said Canon Hunt, "She's an incredibly talented senior clergyperson and we're thrilled that 'Mother' June will be our next bishop."

Canon Hunt's Chinese lantern theory was angrily dismissed by one Cardiff resident, Gwyn Etherington.

"Look, I am totally sick to death of people saying these are Chineese [sic] lanterns, some maybe, but not all. I personally believe in this UFO because I have seen it myself, with my girlfriend and even with my own dad. No way was it a Chinese lantern or some bishop figure!"

UFO, Chinese diversity lanterns, or fantastically qualified senior female clergyperson? You, the reader, be the judge.

Your Old Pal,

LSP