Walking The Eschaton

It was like a midsummer day in Borth on the Welsh Riviera. Overcast, a drizzling rain, not too cold, not too hot but no, this was North Central Texas and time to take Blue Eschaton for a walk.

The streets were empty, because of the Chinese Virus or because they always are? A mystery, and so was our old friend the Meth Shack. The Shack's under new management, who've been busy gutting the place with a view, presumably, to newer and better renters. Good luck with that worthy project.

Mourning the passing of an age, we advanced to the Pick 'n Steal. It still stands, essential business in the midst of lockdown. I tethered the Eschaton to an empty newspaper vending machine and went inside for a coffee "refill" in an invincible Yeti mug. 

The store's Owl Idol looked down with unflinching eyes on its supplicants, the usual crew of pajama wearin', slipper shufflin', lottery playin', blunt buyin' punters. There they were and there it was. Reassured that some things never change, I walked the furry apocalypse back to the Compound, mission accomplished. And then a curious thing happened.

Within a space of minutes, clouds rolled in from the north and with them a fierce wind. The temperature dropped like a stone in seconds, taking us from Borth in August to Borth in April. Fearing a Polar Vortex, I showed the Eschaton inside to warmth and safety.

Poor dog. You can imagine, centuries later, explorers discovering an elderly Heeler encased in ice, the remains of a fried cherry pie in his mouth, frozen where he stood on the awful day the Climate Changed.

That aside, I hope you've all managed to recover your firearms from the lakes and rivers and sensibly saved on SCUBA by use of powerful magnets and sturdy ropes.

God bless,

LSP

Climate Justice

Some people, say those who live in Aberystwyth, shake their fists at the weather and cry out for justice, climate justice. It's not fair that the climate should attack them on a daily basis with unending rain while a privileged elite live under the sunny skies of Texas. 

Fair? Hardly and if you doubt me, try taking a summer vacation in Borth without an umbrella and a fleece. But seriously, climate justice is about more than sharing the Texan sun with our weather oppressed Welsh friends, it's about "working at the intersections of environmental degradation and the racial, social, and economic inequities it perpetuates."

You see, anthropocentric global warming creates a greenhouse effect in the earth's atmosphere, causing the climate to change because of CO2 emissions. This makes the weather hot, which melts the ice caps and causes drought and catastrophic flooding. And it makes the weather cold, because the sun's heat is blocked by carbon dioxide, bringing on a new ice age. Polar bears are tragically driven schizophrenic by this injustice.

Poor people of color are also harmed by the inequity, as their huts flood and then become frozen blocks of ice. On the other hand, privileged whites, living in mining compounds on the high ground of the Mogollon Rim in Arizona, for example, are spared. 

Such is the perpetuation of economic, social and racial injustice, brought on by the Weather. You can take a course on it at the fabled school of higher learning we call "Cornell."

All this passed through my mind as I drove through the asset stripped streets of this rural Texan haven, while the rain crashed down with southern fury and wildfires raged through the pines of Arizona. What had gone wrong, had we somehow failed to pay our Climate Tax?

Smart people are investing in boats, skis and fireproof bunkers.

Your Pal,

LSP

Archbishop Of Wales Captured On Camera

Welsh schoolchildren got the fright of their lives when they met the Archbishop of Wales, John Davies, a few days before Easter after the Archbishop landed in a field outside Haverfordwest, Pembrokshire.

"It was terrifying," stated student spokesperson, Rhys Morgan, "At first we saw bright lights floating above Market Street and thought it was a UFO. Then it landed and out came the Archbishop. We asked him if he believed in the resurrection and he said, 'I don't think any of us actually knows, frankly.' Then he climbed back in his spaceship and flew off. We were scared out of our wits!"

However, while the frightened schoolchildren believe they saw the Archbishop of Wales, paranormal expert, Gareth Hunt, isn't convinced. "It looks like the Archbishop but it could be a fly on the lens, a hang-glider, or a simple camera malfunction. We can't jump to conclusions."

Archbishop Davies succeeded Barry Morgan in September, 2017, who was often spotted by UFO enthusiasts above the coastal towns of Borth and Aberystwyth as well as the Bristol Channel.

Ad Astra,

LSP

Borth

Borth

You may not know it but there's this small town in Wales called Borth. It's a short drive from Aberystwyth and seems to be pretty much controlled by older hippies who run all these overpriced junk antique shops, "galleries, and novelty cafes. Hippies are known for their thieving.

relaxing after a hard days thieving 

Borth also has sand dunes, which puts me in mind of Sting. Some people think that Sting's greatest cinematic performance was in Dune, others feel that he was even better in Brimstone and Treacle. But I won't judge, decide for yourself!

the genius of Sting

So go and visit Borth; it's just this little strip of hippie go-downs and a couple of pubs in a line facing the sea, right there on the Western edge of the Island.

edge of the world

Cheers,

LSP