Sunday, October 18, 2015

Alien Megastructure in Virginia?

Baffled astronomers believe they may have found an alien megastructure, a star surrounded by a Dyson Sphere, built by ETs.

Stargazing boffins are unable to explain the light fluctuations that the star emits, with one expert stating that the bizarre structure was "really weird."

"We'd never seen anything like this star," said Tabetha Boyajian, "We thought it might be bad data or movement on the spacecraft, but everything checked out. It was really weird." According to Boyajian and her team of researchers, the anomalous star went through "aperiodic dips in flux down to below the 20% level."

Virginia Theological College bills itself as the Episcopal church's "flagship seminary." Its new Immanuel Chapel was consecrated by Presiding Bishop Katharine Jefferts Schori earlier this month, at a service featuring guest preacher Archbishop Justsin Welby. Here's an excerpt from his groundbreaking sermon:

"There is a story of Pooh bear seeking to ride to safety on a honey pot during a flood. And if I remember rightly the story goes that 'sometimes Pooh was on the honey pot and sometimes the honey pot was on Pooh.' Buildings can be like that. Sometimes they are the servants of the Church, and sometimes they are on top, her tyrant."


Honey pot? Perhaps Justsin is unaware of VTS' "married" lesbian homiletics professor, but how to tell? After all, the light from the weird structure is aperiodic and in a state of flux. VTS Dean, Ian Markham, went to King's College London.

That was before he went starfaring.



LL said...

What about sending the Anglican Bishops (no staff) with begging bowls and bibles to places like Calcutta and Siberia to teach the people? Sure, a few would be martyred. Others would starve to death or die of disease. The homosexuals wouldn't make it out of Africa alive.

But those who returned would be better people for having done it.

LL said...

In the alternative, they could go to Baltimore or Detroit without staff or silks to minister to the poor wearing clothes that they buy at the Salvation Army or Goodwill... I think five years or so would tell the temper of their metal.

lukeya said...

Did we not go to college with IM Padre? Seems very familiar!! No doubt he has loosened up a bit since then (although I see he is married to a lady of the female persuasion).

LSP said...

I think that's a very good plan, LL. Send them to Baltroit on a Goodwill ticket.

LSP said...

Yes indeed, Lukeya. He's done rather well for himself -- books, lots of academe and now he's the starfaring Captain of a Dyson Sphere. Nice money if you can make it!

underground pewster said...

The Honey Wagon needs to go to VTS to clean out the septic tank.

LSP said...

Ain't that the truth.