Cyber Monday Fail

mirror of illusion

It being "Cyber Monday", I tried to buy a North Face coat to send to a friend in the frozen wilds of Canada. I figured it'd be easy; go online, find a neat "Cyber Monday" deal, go to the virtual checkout with my imaginary shopping cart, pay for the goods, get them sent to the icy vastness of Alberta and move on, satisfied, with the day.

cold grey mask of morning

After an hour of broken websites, shattered dreams and mirrors of illusion, I gave up. Some people might have persevered and fought through to the objective. I went lateral onto target by making the purchase and sending it on, in person.

fog of war

All very fog of war. But not to worry, soon we'll have drones to deliver our online purchases and everything will be just fine.

Cheers,

LSP

Black Friday Bombs

Please buy something.

I went to the local Walmart on "Black Friday", looking for action. Maybe some trampling, or a taser fight over cut-price Vizio flatscreens, or whatever. But no luck, you could've fired a canon in that store and not hit a soul. It was like a neutron bomb had gone off, somehow sparing the checkout staff who stood out in the aisles, trying to entice the few lone punters to their silent cash registers.

Solar Space

A sign of things to come? Of course not, because as everyone knows, the more in debt you get the richer you are and one day the Japanese will turn the moon into a gigantic solar array, beaming limitless free energy to the people of earth. No retail dystopia there, my friend.

I bought some milk and bread out of a sense of civic duty.

Buy on,

LSP

The Pope's a Catholic! Breaking!

What, the Pope's A Catholic?

People all over the world are falling down in shocked wonder at the news that the Pope is, in fact, a Catholic.

As leader of 1.1 billion Christians, Pope Francis I, is "passionately concerned for the poor." George Weigel has this to say, in today's Wall Street Journal:

"The pope is passionately concerned about the poor, and he knows that poverty in the 21st century takes many forms. It can be found in the grinding material poverty of his native Buenos Aires, caused by decades of corruption, indifference, and the church's failures to catechize Argentina's economic and political leaders. But poverty can also be found in the soul-withering spiritual desert of those who measure their humanity by what they have rather than who they are, and who judge others by the same materialist yardstick. Then there is the ethical impoverishment of moral relativism, which dumbs down human aspiration, impedes common work for the common good in society, and inevitably leads to social fragmentation and personal unhappiness."

You can read the whole thing here. Prepare to be amazed at the stunning news that the Roman Catholic church elected a catholic to be their Pope.

Random Saddles & Gun

In stunning contradistinction the Church of England's busy getting gay with the Pilling Report. 

Mirabile.

LSP

Happy Thanksgiving

ISON

Out of respect for the person who said "a little Chesterton can go a long way," here's a short bit of GKC:

"The world will never starve for want of wonders, but for want of wonder. We should always endeavor to wonder at the permanent thing, not at the mere exception. We should be startled by the sun, and not by the eclipse. We should wonder less at the earthquake, and wonder more at the earth. What was wonderful about childhood is that anything in it was a wonder. It was not merely a world full of miracles; it was a miraculous world. Somehow one must love the world without being worldly."

I love that.

Have a blessed Thanksgiving,

LSP

Is Joni Mitchell a Devil Witch? Survey Results.

Joni Mitchell, Devil Witch?

A recent opinion poll shows that most people think that the once famous singer songwriter, Joni Mitchell, is a Devil Witch. 

Definitely a Devil Witch

Out of a representative sample of 24 persons, a large majority of 16 respondents thought that Joni Mitchell was either "Probably a Devil Witch" or "Definitely a Devil Witch." A further 6 persons were unsure if the singer was a "Devil Witch" or not and a small minority of 2 persons thought that she was "Not a Devil Witch."

Trending Bad

Unsolicited comments to pollsters included, "she plays the dulcimir, nuff said" and "I never trusted her!" One respondent answered the survey questionnaire in code: DEMIC. Service CAPE. 4 TINE.

Don't hang out with that deadbeat, Joni

Known for hit singles, such as "Coyote", in which Mitchell sings about "white lines" and sex, the pop star was allegedly inspired by a "spirit guide", or "cosmic being," that some sources claim she referred to as "Art." In one of her pop hits, Mitchell refers darkly to "paradise" being "paved" in order to "put up a parking lot."

"Art"?

Was Mitchell inspired by a demon called Art? Is she a Devil Witch? The polls are still open.

You decide.

LSP

A Country Breakfast

Circle Y Saddle

We don't have many restaurants here though we do have Montes, which is a Mexican diner that's not far from the Courthouse Willie Nelson helped rebuild when it burned down in the '90s. Willie, and Waylon, are not Illuminati stooges or part of the sinister NWO conspiracy that put up Denver's new satanic airport, at least as far as I've been able to work out. But that's a digression.

The Mighty .303

I like to go to Montes on Monday for breakfast and get Huevos Rancheros, corn or flour tortillas, I don't care, and strong coffee. Nothing fancy, but pretty good for all that. The staff were playing some kind of Latino dance music, kind of funky for breakfast, but whatever, and the table next to me was full of these workers who'd pulled up in battered 2500s. They were discussing the comparative merits of Madonna singles, "Well, I reckon she was influenced by Groove Armada, and I don't like that," type of thing.

No Hunting Today

I was planning on hunting some rabbits after breakfast but was rained off. It's all going on in the countryside, I tell you.

Ride on,

LSP

Denver Airport Satanic?

Denver Devil Horse

Modern air travel, in the U.S. at least, is bad enough without being confronted by satanic, New World Order symbolism, like at Denver International Airport.

Airport Demon

Arrivals at the airport are greeted by an evil apocalyptic horse with glowing red eyes, statues of demon possessed luggage and murals of people worshiping some kind of hallucinogenic plant.

Disturbing

Masons built the place, apparently, and some speculate that it's designed as a command and control center for the upcoming dictatorship of the stratospherically wealthy over everyone else. Speaking of which, the well known singer and Illuminati witch, Beyonce, was booted off a pyramind tour by Zahi Hawass. Why?

Downright Rude

For being "rude" and "stupid".

Hunh. Let's get Hawass onto Piers Morgan.

Kick out the jams.

LSP

Christ the King

Viva Cristo Rey!

Christ's kingship is exemplified in the sacrificial love of the cross and it's frightening to see the irrational rage that can evoke in people.  Why? Perhaps because deep-seated wickedness hates to be exposed and reacts first with derision and then with a kind of brute fury against its opposite.

Christ the King

The Church, which is inevitably drawn to the cross, will have to expect more of that as we get further into our brave new secularist experiment. 

Viva Cristo Rey.

LSP

Guizot and Wickedness

Guizot

Just when you were beginning to think, "This LSP makes me incapable of serious thought!" up comes an excerpt from Guizot's Democracy in France, 1849, thanks to DC (bear in mind Guizot's Calvinist roots): 

"Let any man dive into his own heart and observe himself with attention. If he have the power to look, and the will to see, he will behold, with a sort of terror, the incessant war waged by the good and evil dispositions within him — reason and caprice, duty and passion; in short, to call them all by their comprehensive names, good and evil. We contemplate with anxiety the outward troubles and vicissitudes of human life; but what should we feel if we could behold the inward vicissitudes, the troubles of the human soul — if we could see how many dangers, snares, enemies, combats, victories, and defeats can be crowded into a day — an hour? I do not say this to discourage man, nor to humble or under-value his free will. He is called upon to conquer in the battle of life, and the honour of the conquest belongs to his free will. But victory is impossible, and defeat certain, if he has not a just conception and a profound feeling of his dangers, his weaknesses, and his need of assistance. To believe that the free will of man tends to good, betrays an immeasurable ignorance of his nature. It is the error of pride; an error which tends to destroy both moral and political order; which enfeebles the government of communities no less than the government of the inward man."

I think I'd want to temper the above with Aquinas' observation that the natural will tends towards the good, which has become warped and flawed through sin, as opposed to totally corrupted. Guizot, with his Calvinist upbringing, may have taken the latter view.

Still, the bad errors of Calvinism aside, we deny the fallen inclination of humanity to evil at our peril and, to quote an English friend, the fact that "wickedness organizes for wickedness." Fortunately for us, grace perfects nature.

Just a thought,

LSP

VCC & The Motorcycle Hippies

Motorcycle Hippies

Here at the Compound we're always on the lookout for interesting stories, like when a member of one of the Missions was driving across his ranch and saw a commotion in his stock tank. "What's this?" thought the Veteran Crew Chief (VCC), as he drove up for a closer look.

Goofing Off

It was hippies, motorcycle hippies, who'd somehow found their way onto his land, out of their clothes and into the tank. VCR got out of his truck and he just might have cranked a round in his short barreled pistol grip pump. You never know, better safe than sorry when you're looking at a whole tank full of motorcycle hippies.

Getting Dirty

Then, like a prehistoric monster emerging from the primeval slime, the leader of the hippies climbed out of the brackish water. My irenic friend told him they were "welcome to swim but this tank is known 'round here for its snakes." The hippies fled.

Trashing Someone's Land

So just who were these hippies? Most likely some crew chancing it out of Austin; they probably figured they'd trash someone's land for a few days before moving on. Hippies notoriously destroy farmland. Good thing they were caught before it got out of hand!

Born to ride,

LSP

Obamamcare Crony Capitalists Run Wild

can't pay won't pay

Vicious rumours that Obamacare is nothing less than crony capitalism run wild are manifestly untrue as Insurance Behomeths get a free ride on the backs of uninsured citizens and everyone else.

I don't have to pay!

Here's Zero Hedge:

"The cheapest plan now has a deductible of $6350! Before it was $150. Employees making $9 to $10/hr, have to pay $30/wk and have a $6350 deductible!!! What!!!! They can't afford that to be sure. Obamacare will kill their propensity to seek medical care. More money for less care? How does that help them? ...It all seems like a joke. How can this be the new system? Pelosi, pass the bill to find out what's in it? Surprise! You've annihilated the working class."

CIGNA CEO

And here's some figures from Forbes (worth the read). As of October, shares in CIGNA were up 63%, Wellpoint 47% and United healthcare 28%.

The best bit about it all is that the poor get fined for not signing on to Government mandated healthcare that they can't afford anyway. Nice.

Insurance Company Jet

Remember, the Government is your friend. Especially if you're on the Executive of an Insurance Company.

And lest we forget, our Overlords in the Government don't have to pay the new health tax. They're exempt, or at least play by a different set of rules; one law for the rich, another for the poor? Surely not.

LSP

Church of England Gives Huge Yes To Women Bishops

Dance to the goddess

The Church of England's General Synod voted overwhelmingly in favour of women bishops, with one priestess, Canon Rosie Harper, arguing that failure to make women bishops would make the Church of England look "weird."

Canon Rosie Harper isn't weird, at all

"I would like to name the sheer weirdness of a community arguing about discrimination in the 21st century - people out there don't care enough to be angry but they do dismiss us as weird," stated Rosie.

Nothing weird about Schori!

According to Rosie, the weirdness of not having women bishops would hurt the declining Church of England's mission, "If we are serious about our mission, and I know this is a very basic point, we really do have to stop being weird," she told the Synod. 

Totally not weird

In a final appeal to normality, Canon Rosie concluded, "Stop being weird and vote yes."

Deranged

Well done, Church of England. With women bishops you won't be weird anymore and everyone will start going to church again. Next stop, Gay Marriage, which everyone knows is entirely normal.

Entirely normal

Good luck, Church of England.

LSP