Carrie Fisher is Dead

Bye, Princess Leia. 

Yea, you were once our hero 

But now you are dead.

The best cinnabon

Means almost nothing to you

Now that you have died.

Ave Atque Vale.

LSP

The MAGA Snow Globe!

Giving and receiving gifts is one of the beauties of the Christmas season, especially if the gift is a Make America Great Again (MAGA) Snow Globe, featuring our new President in full Napoleonic regalia.

Resolute

Hold the MAGA Snow Globe still and look into the resolute eyes of our new Commander. So different from the shifty glance of the last miscreant to hold office. 

Winter Wonderland

Then shake the globe and let it snow!

If you want to play your part in making America great again, get a genuine MAGA Snow Globe by emailing the Compound with your order and our hardworking team of specialists will rush one to you in the mail (price on request). Satisfaction guaranteed.

MAGA,

LSP

Melania Mondays!

My not-so-smart-phone buzzed like an angry locust as a text came screeching through the ether. "WHERE'S MELANIA MONDAYS!" OK, OK, BW, calm down, no one's forgotten and here it is, the next installment of the ever popular series on Melania, America's attractive and popular First Lady.

Melania, Looking Typically Good

What's Melania been up to? Going to Christmas Eve Mass in a mini dress, for a start, and guess what, the crowd cheered. Who can blame them? Not us, that's for sure.

But what do you think. Was the stylish and kind presidential consort somehow inappropriate in her impeccable dress sense? Not according to the cheering congregation, no doubt about it.

Merry Christmas, Melania!

Here at the Compound, we wish Melania the very best Christmastide.

There's that 'phone again! "CHOP, CHOP," it says. 

Publish.

LSP

Firing up the Mess...

You know what it's like on Christmas day in LSPland. Open up the gag gift from Putin (a Hillary action figure, thanks, Vlad...), put on a fresh H&H shirt (Harvie & Hudson, check out bargain sale) and make sure the Mess is order. And that's all good.

Sorry Elitocracy. Ho, Ho, Ho!

Crystal, silver, linen, candles, a turk in the oven and friends and family converging from around the world. I love that. It's all good.

In #TrumpsAmerica

Merry Christmas!

LSP

Merry Christmas!

Eternal God,

who made this most holy night

to shine with the brightness of your one true light:

bring us, who have known the revelation

of that light on earth,

to see the radiance of your heavenly glory;

through Jesus Christ our Lord.

Merry Christmas and God bless,

LSP

Check Out This Piece Of Trash

Trash

Check it out, a piece of trash I found in the street as I was walking Blue Steak Eater. There it was, lying in the gutter, along with the cast-off weaves, rusting needles and associated curbside debris which is all that remains of the Democrats' wanton lust for power.

A Typical Texas Street Scene

In associated news, President Putin has sen a cordial letter to President Trump, sensibly implying an entente between our two powers. Note that the Russian strongman and former KGB Colonel signs off his missive by referring to President Trump as "His Excellency." 

Obama had a rather different treatment at the hands of the Russians, but that's another story again.

Your Friend,

LSP

ISIS, Naughty or Nice?

ISIS, the famous Muslim terror group, naughty, or nice? Watch this short infovideo to see what Santa says!

Thanks, TC, for the tip.

Aloha Snackbar,

LSP

Jihad Savage Shot Dead

Anis Amri, the crazed Muslim savage who went truck jihad in Berlin, has been shot dead in Milan by police.

Amri, left Tunisia in 2011 and entered Italy, claiming to be a Syrian refugee. He was subsequently jailed for arson and robbery and became radicalized in prison. Amri then took his newfound faith in the religion of peace to the streets of Berlin, where he killed 12 people by ramming a truck into a crowded Christmas market.

Jihad Savage Shot Dead

The Jihad savage released a video, pledging allegiance to ISIS and vowing to kill "crusader pigs." He was stopped at a roadblock in Milan and killed when he opened fire on police.

Look at all those peace loving members of the Religion of Peace!

Listen up, Germans, and everyone else. If you don't want more Muslims killing people at Christmas markets, you'd better wake up and take the Jihad seriously. That means eradicate the threat. 

I'll leave you, the reader, to reflect on method.

Deus Vult,

LSP

Ivanka Abused by Rainbow Rider

Two rainbow riders, Dan Goldstein and his "wife", Matthew Lasner, weren't too happy when they noticed that Ivanka Trump was flying commercial with them on JetBlue. So Matthew's "husband," Dan, decided to verbally attack President Trump's attractive daughter.

Gay Dan

"Your father is ruining the country," said Gay Dan to Ivanka as she looked after her children. According to one account, Degenerate Dan then started screaming, "Why is she on our flight. She should be flying private."

Pink Matt

Gay Dan and Pink Matt were subsequently kicked off the flight for their rude and abusive behavior, even though Ivanka, who is known for her kindness and good looks, asked that the airline didn't make it a "thing."

You can read the whole sordid tale of two rich homosexual libs abusing a woman who was looking after her children, here.

Ivanka before she was attacked by Gay Dan

What do you think should happen to the two degenerate rainbow riders, as you ask yourself why the Secret Service didn't shoot Gay Dan and Pink Matt. Here's Sig's take:

An example needs to be made. Limbs must be broken, teeth forcibly excavated and ears removed to tag them for further study.

Good call, Sig. 

What do you think?

LSP

It's a Wrap

Driving to the metrosprawl down the kamikaze Corridor of Fame, I35, is never fun but sometimes you have to do it. For example, perhaps you have to get presents for people, the kind of gifts you can't get at Walmart or the pawns.

NICE

So I took life in my hands, climbed in the rig and drove to Dallas on a quest for gifts. That meant a bookshop.

NOT NICE

North Park mall, insane traffic, a return to HQ and placing the carefully chosen items under the tree. I thought it looked good, Christmas style.

NICE

There also seemed to be a lot of presents this year, far more than usual. Why is that? The answer's obvious, there's a new sheriff in town. More gifts for everyone in...

#TrumpsAmerica

LSP

Obama Fights Daesh

Good work, Commander-in-Chief, and you didn't win the War on Weather, either. There's a book out by a Secret Service agent that says Barack Hussein Obama was and is a Muslim.

Hunh.

ISIS laughs,

LSP

Winter Solstice Pagan Hi-Jinx!

Guess what, readers. It's the Winter Solstice! That means you get to worship the rebirth of the sun on the shortest day of the year and goof-off at the sacred circle, where the wizard sages sat. And steal stuff, along with all the other hippies.

Cheer up Pagans! Someone steal your Giro?

Don't bother about taking a shower or anything: 1. There isn't one and 2. You don't do that anyway. But go right ahead and get down with all the other thieves druids, just don't freak out when you end up in a Wicker Man and it's on fire.

Moonsong. A Priest of Pan

In related news, a self-described "priest of Pan," called Moonsong, wasn't too happy when Maine's Bureau of Motor Vehicles (BVM) wouldn't let him wear goat horns for his photo i.d. 

A Typical Pagan State i.d.

So Moonsong got in touch with the ACLU and before you could say "lawsuit," the BVM backed down and Moonsong gets to wear his goat horns. You can read the whole thing here.

What do we think about that, here at the Compound? It's obviously a great victory for pagans everywhere. But here's a thought, worshipers of the Horned God. What'd you do if the real deal turned up?

Mind how you go,

LSP