Epiphany Cheese And Bread

St. Francis in downtown Calgary transferred the Feast of the Epiphany to Sunday, so after Mass I drove out into Calgary like one of the Magi and followed a star to the Co-Op. But not before driving past a new Buddhist(?) monastery. 

You can't tell from my photo, but there seems to be a metal statue of a spider deity in front of it. Spider God, scary heathen juju, I thought to myself.

Safely back in Inglewood, we settled down to a feast of unpasteurized brie, aged cheddar, some sort of blue cheese and freshly baked baguettes. Vicious rumors of a bottle of port have no foundation in reality, whatsoever.

Got to hand it to Canada, they definitely get bread and cheese. Well done, Canadians!

God bless,

LSP

Is Giles Fraser Cursitor Doom?

Is celebrity Brit Reverend and Aleister Crowley look-a-like, Giles Fraser, Cursitor Doom? Photo evidence suggests that he is.

Or is the Guardian's pet lib, shariasymp Vicar just a willing Illuminati stooge for the pansexualist New World Order of the trans rainbow?

Cursitor Doom

Giles Fraser

The vote is out.

LSP

Leaders Number One, That Would Be Putin

Get your New Year off to a good start by investing in some Leaders Number One, Inspired By Vladimir Putin.

It only costs 6,000 roubles and smells like blackcurrant and pine cones, evoking the warmth of a forest floor.

No one has dedicated a fragrance to US President, Barack Obama, which is doubtless a very good thing indeed. But if they had, what would it smell like?

Readers, over to you.

LSP

Go Out And Get a Hat, in Calgary

After a short blast of living the downtown Calgarian dream, I fell back to Inglewood, which is nifty little neighborhood near the center of town.

Random Fridge Magnet -- Note former Detroit Mayor, with "entourage"

Inglewood's alright, it has shops, pubs, restaurants, an army surplus and Calgary's world famous barber gunshop. That's right, a gunshop that's also a barber, so you can go in there and get your hair cut and buy a gun. I'll go next week for a cut, it's a tradition.

Inglewood

As I walked around crunching my way through the snow, I noticed it was getting warmer, considerably so. It seemed like a Chinook was moving in, giving respite from the subzero, freeze your hair cold.

Your Old Pal

That meant a trip to the Chinook Center Mall, on McLeod Trail. I bought a hat from Lammles Western Store; it's a "Justin" and I wasn't able to get one in the right size or color in Texas. Well done, Calgary. You are a hat solutions provider.

Stay on the horse,

LSP

Happy New Year!

To make the New Years celebrations more of a celebration I went to the wine store and bought some of the right stuff. They had a good selection, if pricey, compared to the US.

A Typical Canadian Shop

When I paid the bill I used a piece of plastic without a chip in it, which confused the young baby-faced wine salesperson. "No chip, eh?" he asked, warily. "No," I replied, "We don't have those at the 1st Inconvenience Bank of Texas. We're a bit backward that way." The saleschild looked at me and said, "That's not the only way, over there, eh?"

I grinned and gave him a cheery, "Oh yeah. Except for gun rights, we're ahead of the pack there. Happy New Year, man."

A Bison Head

And with that, I wish you all a happy, blessed and joyous New Year.

Cheers,

LSP

What is This Thing?

Team LSP was confused, bewildered and perplexed by one of the Hyatt Calgary lobby sculptures, so we went out to the readership for an opinion as to what this thing was.

Some thought it was Germany's famous "Zwarte Piet" or a "PC" variation on the theme, "Pete." Others, fantastically, believe it to be a "Chocolate Christmas Hippo."

One reader wondered if it was Bill Crosby, in disguise. As Zwarte Piet, perhaps? All of these suggestions have merit, but look closely, the chocolate colored Christmas creature has minions.

What does this mean? As I reflected on the implications of this, I looked down at the newspaper. There's no doubt about the identity of the character in this picture.

That would be US President and Commander in Chief, Barack Hussein Obama, you know, the same genius who thinks Islam's a really peaceful religion. Like Buddhism, only way more peaceful.

Your Old Friend,

LSP

Morning Has Broken

Here's a Calgary sunrise, looking out over the city towards the Saddledome and Scotchman's Hill. They're still putting up large buildings here and there's a risk they'll go zombie as Alberta's oil economy collapses.  

Oil Economy

Thanks, Saudi Arabia, for that. Who knows what the consequences of the Magic Kingdom's oil price strategy will be. For that matter, who knows what this is:

It's in the hotel lobby.

Readers, all three of you, help me out here. What is this "sculpture"? 

Thanks,

LSP

St. Thomas Becket

The Archbishop of Canterbury, no, not Justin, Thomas Becket!, died today in 1170, killed by 4 knights in Canterbury Cathedral. I used to offer prayers at his shrine when I was very young.

Here's an excerpt from New Advent: 

Four knights who came from France demanded the absolution of the bishops.St. Thomas would not comply. They left for a space, but came back at Vesper time with a band of armed men. To their angry question, "Where is the traitor?" the saint boldly replied, "Here I am, no traitor, but archbishop andpriest of God." They tried to drag him from the church, but were unable, and in the end they slew him where he stood, scattering his brains on the pavement. His faithful companion, Edward Grim, who bore his cross, was wounded in the struggle.

A tremendous reaction of feeling followed this deed of blood. In an extraordinary brief space of time devotion to the martyred archbishop had spread all through Europe. The pope promulgated the bull of canonization, little more than two years after the martyrdom, 21 February, 1173. On 12 July, 1174, Henry II did public penance, and was scourged at the archbishop's tomb.

That was then, this is now.

Good luck, Church of England, and who knows, perhaps St. Thomas Becket will intercede for the soul of Mr. Kilminster.

LSP 

Lemmy, Rest in Peace

You once told me to ***k Off.

That is my claim to fame.

Rest in Peace.

LSP

Calgary Hippy Discovers Rhodesia

After a grueling flight, which was delayed by 3 hours because the plane was broken, I arrived in Calgary. It was good to be back in the land of the ice and snow and I checked in to the Hyatt, downtown.

A Typical Calgary Bar

Good stuff, I like the Calgary Hyatt and it's fun to walk out of the hotel and into the blinding snow, to look at the shops on Stephen Avenue. I was doing just that when a tall hippy came up to me, complete with long hair and beard. He was wearing a pink vest over his coat, and I noticed the pink outfit had a curious logo. "Because I'm A Girl," it said. Hunh, I thought, incisively.

Stephen Avenue Attacked by the Weather

"Can I speak with you for a moment?" said the hippy. "Sure," I replied, "but only for a moment." Heartened by my friendly man-in-the-snow demeanor, the hippy asked where I came from, then launched into his pitch. 

"I'm with Because I'm A Girl."
"Oh, you are?"
"Yeah, we're the oldest community development organisation in the thir... developing countries."
"You nearly said 'third world,' didn't you."
"Uhh, yeah, I guess I kind of did."

The Because I'm A Girl Hippy looked pretty sheepish and started to make a pink-vested excuse for his thought crime. I interrupted.

"Look, I really don't care. I still call it Rhodesia."
"Rhodesia? What's that?"
"Zimbabwe, mate."

Realization dawned on the face of my new friend, and Because I'm A Girl gaped, like a bearded Bass; then he began to laugh. I headed off to look for snow boots.

Make of this what you will.

LSP

I'm Headin' to Calgary

It's that time of year when I go North, to Calgary, and the land of the ice and snow. Unfortunately that means having to endure the nightmare of modern air travel, which is like taking a bus from Gloucester to Tunbridge Wells in the '80s.

But whoever said life would be easy? I remember no such promise, but I do remember that our elite rulers told us we're in a War on Weather.

There were tornadoes in Dallas yesterday. I guess that means we're losing that particular war; well done, team.

God bless,

LSP

LSP, Giver of Gifts

Some of you know her, she goes by BW. That's right, my youngest sister, and all she wanted for Christmas was an adorable dog. So I helped her out.

She created the "meme".

Your Pal,

LSP