Archbishop of Canterbury Suspect in Detroit Carjacking

CCTV footage and a witness reconstruction, make Justin Welby, Archbishop of Canterbury, a prime suspect in a series of Detroit carjackings.

The most recent attack happened on Sunday at a gas station at McNichols Road and St. Mary’s Street. After purchasing Blunts, the carjackers ran up to a parked vehicle and robbed it's owner.

Carjacker Suspect

One of the carjackers was captured on in-store video surveillance, which agrees with the victim's description of one of his attackers as, "A balding, Eurolib technocrat, white Caucasian male."

Artist's Reconstruction

The images and description point to the Archbishop of Canterbury, who was recently involved in a mall brawl in a Detroit suburb and thrown out of a pawn shop on the Motor City's iconic 8 Mile Road.

Justin Welby in Mall Brawl

Police have appealed for information and warn the public that Welby is potentially dangerous.

Lambeth Palace was unavailable for comment.

LSP

Church of England Appoints Nudist Woman Bishop

Hardly a week goes by without the Church of England appointing a new woman bishop in its desperate attempt to reverse declining congregations and shrinking budgets. But the new Bishop of Sherbourne, Karen Gorham, isn't just a woman, she's also a nudist.

Archdeacon of Buckingham, Karen Gorham, was named next Bishop of Sherbourne last Thursday and has a long history of nudism, going back to her upbringing in a nudist family. According to Gorham, going around naked isn't necessarily about sex:

A Typical Woman Bishop Figure

"The connection of nakedness and sex, though it may seem inescapable, need not necessarily be so," stated the new bishop in a theology booklet, "Life in a naturist club, or a naturist resort, is just about doing things which one generally does with clothes on, but unclothed when the circumstances permit it."

Pew Filler

Gorham, 51, is unmarried. Maybe she'll get all the "singles" back to church and fill those empty CofE pews.

Good luck.

 

LSP

Jesus Isn't Your Imaginary Friend

Here's a helpful message for Advent. Maybe you think Jesus is some kind of imaginary buddy, in your mind. Well He's not.

At some point in our history, we began to attribute a merely mental reality to anything that was not an object and reduced the importance of objects to what they could contribute to our mental reality. We live in a sea of psychology. Things, we believe, are only what we think they are. My “relationship” with you means nothing more than the set of inner experiences and dispositions I have towards you. In many ways, a very good version of “virtual reality” is just as good as “reality” itself.

You can read the whole thing here. And while we're at it, let's have Hagia Sophia back.

Maybe you think I'm kidding about that last bit.

LSP 

Advent Prayer

Listen up, it's Advent. Time to pray, and none of your newfangled rubbish either.

ALMIGHTY God, give us grace that we may cast away the works of darkness, and put upon us the armour of light, now in the time of this mortal life, in which thy Son Jesus Christ came to visit us in great humility; that in the last day, when he shall come again in his glorious Majesty, to judge both the quick and the dead, we may rise to the life immortal; through him who liveth and reigneth with thee and the Holy Ghost, now and ever. Amen.

God bless,

LSP

A Cheery Little Advent Message

Here's a cheery little message to get you ready for Advent:

When confronted with Americans who have seen their standard of living falling for the last twenty five years and are sick and tired of hearing drivel about white privilege, black lives matter, safe spaces, gay and transgender “rights”, micro-aggressions, rape culture, misogyny, $15 minimum wage, and a myriad of other offenses against feminism, these easily offended “warriors” will piss their pants. These trivialities will seem so quaint when they are confronted with an angry guy with a gun on the streets or when they are told to report for duty as we wage war with Russia and China. The foolishness of the culture wars will become strikingly apparent when economic collapse and life or death choices confront our special snowflake generation.

Special snowflake generation. I like that.

God bless,

LSP

Another Day in The War on Weather

It's another typically cold, rainy day in Texas, and smart citizens are staying inside by the fire, cleaning guns, loading magazines and turning Thanksgiving leftovers into pies. 

It was hot here, once, but that was before El Nino broke loose and started his current reign of weather extremism. 

El Nino

Thank the "higher power" that our Commander-in-Chief takes the War on Weather seriously. He's taking some time off from watching reruns of the Danish Girl and Transparency to meet with world leaders in Paris next week, where they'll work on a strategy to defeat The Weather. 

Must. Raise. More. Money. To Beat The Weather

It'll be a veritable War Cabinet against the enemy that threatens us all with destruction. And maybe our War Leaders will manage to tax the Weather into submission, which will make the atmosphere colder, which will turn Texas hot again.

We live and hope.

LSP

Our Pals Turkey And ISIS Oil

ZeroHedge -- Finally, note that Ceyhan is less than two hours by car from Incirlik air base from which the US is flying anti-ISIS sorties. In other words, ISIS oil is being shipped to the world right down the road from Washington's preferred Mid-East forward operating base.

Now that we can add what looks like quantitative evidence that ISIS oil is shipped from Turkey to the voluminous qualitative evidence supplied by ex-Turkish lawmakers, investigative reporters, and the Russian government (to name just a few sources), we can now proceed to consider one final question: where does the crude that helps to fund Bakr al-Baghdadi's caliphate ultimately end up? More on that over the weekend.

We have to ask, to what extent is the US complicit?

LSP

Archbishop Justin Welby Thrown Out of Detroit Pawn Shop

Justin Welby, Archbishop of Canterbury, was thrown out of a pawn shop on Detroit's famous 8 Mile Road.

"This guy came in here claiming to be an 'Archbishop' and trying to sell me a miter with all these fish on it," said pawn shop owner, Les Rich, "I offered him five bucks and he went off on me, insulting Detroit. We had to kick him out, like all the other riff-raff. Don't mess with this great city, that's what I told him."

Detroit Street Scene

Trying to pawn his archiepiscopal regalia is a new low for Welby, who was recently photographed brawling over a flatscreen T.V. at a Michigan mall, on Black Friday.

Hands Off The Flatscreen, Justin.

Reports that Welby was seen hustling for spare change outside of Cobo Hall have not been confirmed by Lambeth Palace.

LSP

Archbishop of Canterbury in Black Friday Mall Brawl

Shocking photos reveal the Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby, scrapping with Black Friday shoppers at a Michigan mall.

The maul brawl erupted after Welby tried to wrestle a discounted flat screen T.V. out of the hands of a single Mother. "I waited all night to get my Vizio," said Toya Laquanda, "Then Welby come in and try and take it!"

Onlookers were outraged by Welby's attempted T.V. grab,  and one angry shopper faced off against the leader of the worldwide Anglican Communion, in what soon became a full-on slugfest. 

The fight ended when mall security was called, but not before a bruised and battered Welby disappeared into the Black Friday crowd of bargain hunters.

Lambeth Palace has not commented on the incident.

LSP

Sultan Erdogan. Terrorist

Fars News -- After being dumped by the European Union for not meeting the criteria to become an EU member; then despised by the international community for acting as “Jihadist Super-Highway” for foreign goons pouring into Syria; and still being rejected by Iran as a route to transit natural gas into Europe, Turkey is desperate to do whatever it can to stay in this New Great Game, even if that means shooting down Russian warplanes over Syria.

Trans Night at The White House

ZeroHedge -- here is a brief, if very disturbing snapshot, of both father and son Erdogan by F. William Engdahl, one which should make everyone ask whether the son of Turkey's president (and thus, the father) is the silent mastermind who has been responsible for converting millions of barrels of Syrian Oil into hundreds of millions of dollars of Islamic State revenue.

Not The Danish Girl

But why worry, after all, as Joe "Butterfly Knife" Biden reminds us, LGBT rights are the "greatest civil rights issue of our time." In the meanwhile, our Commander-in-Chief spends his time watching The Danish Girl.

I doubt Putin's doing that.

LSP

Salute The Flag

But which one? I'd have thought that was obvious. Less obvious is the fact that everyone here at HQ is watching a Thanksgiving Day murder mystery, set in Aberystwyth.

A Typical Day in Aberystwyth

Myth has it that the drummer of the world famous pop band, the Scorpions, owned a mansion just outside of Aberystwyth. 

Braggable.

LSP

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.

Cheers,

LSP