All The Colors of The Rainbow!

It's been tough sledding for the diminutive Anglican Church of Canada (ACoC) over the last decade or so. For some reason, not too many people want to be included in Fred Hiltz's church of inclusion. But maybe that's about to change, thanks to the government.

Via Anglican Samizdat:

The federal government will include gay men among the Syrian refugees it brings into Canada as part of a plan that puts the focus on accepting women, children and families.

Now we know why the Anglican Church of Canada has been campaigning for more refugees to be admitted: an influx of potential ACoC priests.

Experts describe ACoC as "lost in the icy void of deep space." Whether a sudden and massive influx of gay Muslim refugees will turn the dwindling denomination's fortunes around is unclear.

LSP

Turkish Math

Looks like the Turks aren't so hot at math.

ZeroHedge -- Miraculously, there were no further escalations overnight, but as we outlined in detail on Tuesday, something doesn’t add up about the story Ankara is telling. According to a letter Turkey sent to UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon and the 15 members of the UN Security Council, the Russian warplane, flying at 19,000 feet, “violated Turkish national airspace to a depth of 1.36 miles and 1.15 miles in length for 17 seconds.” If you do the math on that, it means the Su-24 was basically flying at stall speed. 

Our Friends, The Moderate Jihadists, Executed This Pilot

As you reflect on that wisdom, don't forget that the Al-Qaeda affiliated Jihadists who executed a Russian airman are backed by the US. Why?

Our Frenemies, ISIS

Because they're moderates, of course. And we have to ask, why is Turkey even a member of NATO? But given that it is, why not sign up the Caliphate too.

I mean to say, it's not as though we're supplying them with guns and money, or anything.

Cheers,

LSP

Don't Be An Idiot, Go Out And Fish

Don't be an idiot, I thought to myself, go out and catch some fish. So that's what happened, but it took a while.

Scientific Method

I casted, using the scientific method: chuck everything in the water and see if something works. Did the method work? Good question.

Ugly Stick

Not at first.

There is That Leviathan!

Then it lifted off and I was reeling in the mighty Leviathans.

Hey, it's a Fish

Monsters of the deep.

Message to market? Don't be an idiot, get out and fish, you never know, you might even catch something.

Fish on,

LSP

Go Visiting

In a bold attempt to escape the appalling news, I drove off to visit some of the flock. Blue Traveller got to come along for the ride.

It was sunny

There were trees

And it was good to get out in the countryside.

I celebrated this excursion by roasting up some beef, and that was good too.

God bless,

LSP

How Did ISIS Get So Big?

Surely this didn't have anything to do with it:

"You went 12 full months while ISIS was on the march without the U.S. using that air power and now as the pilots come back to talk to us they say three-quarters of our ordnance we can’t drop, we can’t get clearance even when we have a clear target in front of us,” Royce said. “I don’t understand this strategy at all because this is what has allowed ISIS the advantage and ability to recruit.”

Surely we haven't been fighting some kind of phony war on the white running shoe head choppers? I mean, that'd be ridiculous, right?

LSP

Christ the King

It's the Feast of Christ the King, and I won't preach, but I will give you these words from Pius XI:

"The faithful, moreover, by meditating upon these truths, will gain much strength and courage, enabling them to form their lives after the true Christian ideal. If to Christ our Lord is given all power in heaven and on earth; if all men, purchased by his precious blood, are by a new right subjected to his dominion; if this power embraces all men, it must be clear that not one of our faculties is exempt from his empire. He must reign in our minds, which should assent with perfect submission and firm belief to revealed truths and to the doctrines of Christ. He must reign in our wills, which should obey the laws and precepts of God. He must reign in our hearts, which should spurn natural desires and love God above all things, and cleave to him alone. He must reign in our bodies and in our members, which should serve as instruments for the interior sanctification of our souls, or to use the words of the Apostle Paul, as instruments of justice unto God."

I like that.

God bless,

LSP

Archbishop of Canterbury Enforces New Beatitudes

A source deep within Lambeth Palace has revealed that the Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby, is forcing his Talent Pool to recite the Beatitudes, with a twist!

Unfortunate members of the Talent Pool, a group of high-flyers in the Church of England, have been ordered by Welby to recite a new set of "Beatitudes" as an exercise in "team building":

Blessed is the Talent Pool - because theirs is the kingdom of promotion,

Blessed are the MBAs – because they will inherit the salary,

Bessed are HR - because they will cut out the dead wood in a caring, sympathetic and inclusive manner,

Blessed are the CEOs – because the first will be first every time,

Blessed are the Accountants – because they can make rich men appear poor,

Blessed are the Lawyers – because they can plea-bargain here on earth,

Blessed are those with poor memory – because Alzheimer's is a great excuse when you get caught,

Blessed are the immoral – because they will rise to the top,

Blessed are those with a private jet – because they can lecture on climate change around the world.

"We have to go around the Palace wearing chinos and loafers, chanting these so-called 'Beatitudes,'" said our source, "Justin calls it 'team building' but it's really humiliating. He sits on the edge of a desk squeezing a stress ball, watching us. It's pretty unnerving, some of the Talent Pool are seriously considering dropping out of the program altogether."

The Church of England is facing declining membership and rising costs, despite women bishops and celebrity Crowley lookalike, Giles Fraser.

LSP

Coexist!

It's freezing, here in this rural Texan haven, but it's also sunny. That's because anthropogenic global warming has made the atmosphere hotter, as indicated by the bright sunshine, which has made everything colder. 

I don't know about you, but I get the strong feeling that we're not doing so well in the ongoing war against our ancient adversary, The Weather. Speaking of nonsense, here's a dorky little "meme."

Well it's all a great larf until you wake up in a Wicker Man and see the local Imam chopping your buddy's head off, while an atheist feminist Jew blasts out the Plastic Ono Band. 

Typical Pagans, Goofing Off

And don't go Morris Dancing, you lot, it's wrong.

Cheers,

LSP

Russia Sends Dogs, Obama Sends Unicorns

Dobrynya

France was down one plucky K9, after Diesel was blown up by a crazed female Muslim suicide bomber. But Russia has stepped up to the plate and sent a replacement, an adorable German Shepherd puppy called Dobrynya.

Brave Diesel

Russian Interior Ministry spokeswoman, Elena Alekseyeva, explained the significance of the puppy's name on Instagram.

Jhad Savage Hasna Boulahcen

“The puppy is called Dobrynya after a Russian epic knight, who is a symbol of strength, kindness, bravery and selfless help. The puppy will be sent to France as a sign of solidarity with the French people and police in fight against terrorism.”

Here at the Compound we're sure that little Dobrynya will one day grow up to play his part in the war on Islamic terror. But what has President Obama sent the grieving nation of France? 

A Rainbow Unicorn

Good question. Perhaps a picture speaks louder than words.

LSP

For Paris

Putin goes hard against ISIS. Well done.

LSP

Fighting Talk

If the Takfiri terrorists get past the pump and the pistol they'll have to reckon with the rods, an umbrella, an out of tune piano, and a Blue Heeler. Good luck, Daesh.

But the front against terror comes in many forms, and one of the reasons I'm here in this bucolic farming community is to face off against lib mutineers, who tried to take over the Mission in 2009 and hand it over to the pink empire of gayness, TEC (The Episcopal Church).

"Set up in the compound, LSP," said the bishop, "and stop those terrorists from taking over the church."

So that's what I did.

Your Pal,

LSP

Diocese of Gloucester Captured by Astronaut

What started off as a routine mission on the International Space Station became something spectacular, as astronaut Scott Kelly saw the Diocese of Gloucester, flying high above the earth.

“We see here what appears to be a long, white diocese, maybe the Bishop of Gloucester herself,” said the astronaut. “It looks to have two lights on it, one on each end.”

The Diocese of Gloucester

Others disagree, stating that the off-planet anomaly isn't the Diocese of Gloucester, or its bishop figure, Rachel Treweek, but a UFO.

"When an astronaut tweets a photo of a UFO," said UFO expert, Steve Waring, "you can bet people notice it. Scott Kelly likes to send out photos of the view from the windows of the space station… and they look cool. This one however has a cigar shaped glowing UFO with a metallic body in it. The UFO is about 25 meters long and 150-200 meters away. It looks like Scott was trying to hint at the existence of aliens. Message received Scott, and thanks."

UFO with aliens in it, or Diocese of Gloucester?

You, the reader, be the judge.

LSP