Correction!

Sometimes I get it wrong, it's understandable, we all make mistakes and sometimes they're grievous. Bluesun spotted mine:


"I think any public figure that Bono has mentioned in song should automatically qualify for 5 alien heads before anything else is taken into account."


Well said, Bluesun, I stand corrected.

8 Heads!

Tutu gets another alien head, automatically, and a further three for crazy off-world antics. That brings the total up to eight.


By no means shabby. Well done, Desmond.


LSP

Bishops - Desmond Tutu

Crazed

"They should all be locked up and put in a cage." Fr. Bowling

African Anglicans, by and large, are a pretty conservative bunch. Then there's Desmond Tutu, acclaimed international speaker, Nobel Laureate, retired Archbishop and all 'round saint of 'inclusivechurch', the same crew that brought us Bishop 'Vicky' Gene Robinson, Mary 'Imnotamanhonest' Glasspool, and millions of dollars in litigation against trad dioceses like Fort Worth.

Rascal

Tutu had this to say, at a meeting of co-religionists in Pittsburgh:


"In his sermon, he poked fun at the belief that only those who accept Jesus as their savior can enter heaven.

'Can you imagine that there are those who think God is a Christian?' he said to laughter from a mostly appreciative audience. 'Can you tell us what God was before he was a Christian?'"

Apostate

Top humour, Desmond. But just think, what if that awkward bit, inter alia, in John's Gospel, "I and the Father are one", or that pesky "God from God, light from light" business in the Creed, is actually true. What if your job, as a successor of the Apostles, is to uphold Apostolic Faith and Order. What then? 


Think yourself lucky if the reward sticks at a respectable four Apostate Alien Heads.


Just sayin'.


LSP

France or Texas?

Alamo

Sometimes Team LSP can get a little mutinous. Here's an example:


"...to be fair horses and guns are not a monopoly of Texas or indeed the US.  The French for example enjoy riding and shooting, and of course fine wine."

Expensive French Nonsense

They also have the Trianon, which I enjoy, and their City, Paris. But do they have the Alamo? or the Chucacabra?

Chucacabra

No, they do not.


LSP

Left Behind?

time we left this world today

Everyone knows that the Rapture was supposed to happen the other day and has had to be rescheduled to sometime in October. Or perhaps it did and we're all 'left behind', but whatever the case, the prophets in question should pay closer attention to Scripture. Our Lord says that 'no one knows the day or the hour' of the Apocalypse, or Eschaton (Matt. 24-36). 

rapture

TP has an interesting take on the various biblical texts; he thinks we should want to be 'left behind'. Read it here, if you like.


Cheers,


LSP

High Church

Before

Spent last week teaching at the St. Michael's Conference, Southwest. The chapel was plain when we arrived, so we got it up higher; the young people prefer it that way. Thanks to Fr. Matkin for the transformation, excellent result.

After

The Conference is unashamedly trad -- no Pelosianite, priestess nonsense, just the Faith and, of course, worship was central, with daily Morning and Evening Prayer, Solemn High Mass, Compline, Benediction & Exposition of the Blessed Sacrament and Confession. I cunningly made mine before the event, but most of the kids (there were 69) make theirs during the week, often for the first time. There's great spiritual power in that.

LSP (center) at the Confiteor

The Cure D'Ars, who is the patron Saint of priests, tells us that when we go to Confession we 'draw the nails from the wounds of Christ'. A beautiful image, I always think.


After Evensong and dinner, the Conference splits into 'discussion groups'. By some strange coincidence, I was asked to lead the ones on guns, space aliens and cryptids.

'Guns' was simple - we like them, a lot, and approve of the Church's teaching on war, which prohibits priests from killing people. 'Drawing blood' was the old stricture but that didn't stop aggressive prelates, like Odo, from carrying clubs, maces and the odd surreptitious sword into action. 'Aliens' was easy too - the kids believed in them, for the most part. But do they get to heaven? Depends on how wicked they are, I suppose. For example, Jefferts Schori might find the process tricky. 

Genuflect, LSP

The Cryptids discussion was curious; lots of talk about the Chucacabra, whom most considered a mutated dog. Others thought it a new species, but all were agreed as to its animal nature. Altogether different from evil elves, which the Latino children believed in - strongly - and were almost too scared to talk about. No wonder.


They're evil dwarflike spirits who cause mischief around the house and, if not appeased, steal the souls of babies. Scary, so I reminded the kids of the power of prayer, Angelic protection and Our Lady's intercession.

Lift high the Cross

Then, all too soon, the Conference was over. Easily the most spiritually uplifting event I've experienced in years. Well needed, I can tell you.


God bless and be sure to stay away from the sinister dwarf/elf spirits.


LSP

Agripower

JB

Smart people are getting into farming, not least because they're afraid of an oncoming apocalypse, fiscal and otherwise. Or, in my case, because I like to shoot and ride.


Here's what the canny New York Observer has to say:


There is, of course, a slightly more sinister reason to develop a sudden interest in agriculture. Last year, Marc Faber recommended to anyone: "Stock up on a farm in northern Norway and learn to drive a tractor." He sees a "dirty war" on the horizon, playing on fears of a biological attack poisoning food supplies. Those sort of fears drive capital into everything from gold (recently at an all-time high and a long-time safe haven for investors with currency concerns) to survivalist accoutrements. In this particular case, one might buy the farm in order to avoid buying the farm.

Add caption

Needless to say, Team LSP is sizing up the prospect.


Remember, they're not making any more land.


LSP

Hawking - I'm A PC

Atheist

In a shocking statement to the U.K's Guardian newspaper, legendary British boffin, Stephen Hawking, has condemned millions of worn-out computers to a horrifying eternity of non-existence.

"There is no heaven or afterlife for broken down computers; that is a fairy story for people afraid of the dark." 

Fairy Story

According to Hawking, human brains are also computers and will share the same fate as their silicon counterparts.

"I regard the brain as a computer which will stop working when its components fail," said the controversial scientist to stunned reporters.

Hawking, who believes in aggressive, nomadic aliens, told the newspaper "I'm in no hurry to die."

Rumours that Pope Benedict has challenged the zany astrophysicist to an arm wrestling contest in St. Peter's Square have been denied by the Vatican.

God bless,

LSP

The Sign of the Bull

You might think that the above picture was some run of the mill, third-world hellhole. But no, it's just South Dallas; I used to get 'steak and potato' at the Charco Broiler under the fiberglass bull. It cost around $6 a decade ago and still does, so that's reassuring. If you adjust your body armour and walk down the road a bit you get to 'Senor Ramone's', where they cut your hair.

LSP: "Look at all that grey!"
Barber: "No, no! It is blond!"
LSP: "Ah yes, so it is. Keep the change."

I like Ramone's well enough but wouldn't recommend the Broiler.

In other news, it seems as though Pope Benedict's offer of an 'Ordinariate' for trad Anglicans in Canada has been  "put on hold". Following the departure of their parent body, ACoC, into the icy vastness of deep space, earthbound Canadians set up the ACCC (Anglican Catholic Church of Canada). This voted to join B16's larger vessel last year but so far nothing's happened. Maybe now it won't - whose fault will it be if it doesn't?

To be fair to the Vatican, the 'A Triple C' wasn't as unanimous about the project as their vote seemed to indicate... Whatever the case, you can watch this painfully slow moving story unfold at Virtueonline.

Cheers,

LSP

Happy Mother's Day!

Sinister

Nothing quite like a picture of a 'Clown Mass' to brighten up the day. I think the above liturgical genius was staged at Holy Trinity Wall Street, where there's 'more money than a trainload of Nazi gold' and an unhealthy interest in clowning.

Stand firm against the evil clowns and don't forget to honour your Mothers.

Cheers,

LSP

Bearded Goof.

Some people aren't very happy about the OBL's recent send-off to the land of "dark-eyed houris", including the drearily predictable Rowan Williams, leader of the worldwide Anglican non-Communion. He's "uncomfortable" with SEAL Team 6 and their version of justice.

"I don't know full details any more than anyone else does, but I do believe that in such circumstances... it is important that justice is seen to be observed."

"Justice observed"? Do you mean to say that perhaps it wasn't?

 

Christina Odone sums it up neatly in the Telegraph, "Archbishop Williams... is dead wrong."

So was OBL, but in the meanwhile, the excellent Anglican Samizdat recommends "Devgru" take Rowan along  as an embedded tactical adviser on future missions.

I'll leave that disturbing scenario to your imaginations.

Cheers,

LSP

Stop it.

All bad

I know this site is supposed to be about 'God, Guns, Church and Country Life in Texas' but I'm open to requests. Here's one, from the frozen wilds of Ontario:

"LSP I think the time has come for someone (you) to make a stand against the horrific new expression ‘reaching out’.

 

As in ‘ I’ll reach out to him if you like?’ (I’ll give him a ‘phone call).  Its new American business English and frankly – vile.  Psychobabble.

 

LSP – take a stand please."

 

Bad Ginsburg 'reaching out' to bad long-haired layabouts

 'Take a stand'? Gladly. 

 

God is against 'business English' in general because it's nonsensical drivel and against the unpleasant phrase 'reaching out' in particular because it's deceitful drivel, turning an emotive pastoral expression (the priest reached out to the bereaved), into some kind of synonym for a dubious business deal (our sales force is reaching out to KPMG to leverage best benefit at the channel to market interface).

So don't anger God, 'who for our sins art justly displeased', by compounding the interest with 'business speech'. It's dishonest and wrong.

Enough to make me reach out for m'gun.

 

LSP

Dead

One minute it's the Royal wedding and the next it's OBL has been killed by U.S. operators in Pakistan. So much, I suppose, for the 'new Saladin.'


Referring to OBL's attack on the World Trade center, the U.K.'s Guardian had this to say, back in 2001:

"A brilliantly orchestrated feat of planning, coordination and execution backed by formidable religious convictions, the attack on New York and Washington exemplifies something that has come to characterise the modern world: the union of the symbolic with the actual, the mythical with the material, in a single act of destruction shown live on television. It is a perfect example of what extremists of an earlier generation termed the 'propaganda of the deed'".

 
"Mythical with the material"? All very philisophic. The Guardian seemed to think at the time that OBL had checkmated America; now their mastermind is dead.

Not that I'm a whining, comsymp, multiculturalist, Gaia-worshiping pacifist, or that I don't think that OBL had it coming - he did - but I'd like to see an end to the last decade's bout of killing.


I fear that's probably wishful thinking.

LSP