Hawking - I'm A PC

Atheist

In a shocking statement to the U.K's Guardian newspaper, legendary British boffin, Stephen Hawking, has condemned millions of worn-out computers to a horrifying eternity of non-existence.

"There is no heaven or afterlife for broken down computers; that is a fairy story for people afraid of the dark." 

Fairy Story

According to Hawking, human brains are also computers and will share the same fate as their silicon counterparts.

"I regard the brain as a computer which will stop working when its components fail," said the controversial scientist to stunned reporters.

Hawking, who believes in aggressive, nomadic aliens, told the newspaper "I'm in no hurry to die."

Rumours that Pope Benedict has challenged the zany astrophysicist to an arm wrestling contest in St. Peter's Square have been denied by the Vatican.

God bless,

LSP

Archbishop Abducted!

Alien

According to the controversial gay bishop of New Hampshire, Gene Robinson, the Archbishop of Canterbury has been abducted by aliens.

"Aliens have come and taken Rowan away from us. They have left something that looks like him but we don't recognise him anymore," stated Robinson to the U.K.'s Daily Mail.

Druid

Experts are divided on the date of Rowan Williams' abduction but some believe that the bearded bishop was replaced by a space creature when he became a druid, at the Gorsedd of Bards ceremony in 2002.

Others disagree. Anglican Samizdat thinks it unlikely that that the Archbishop of Canterbury has been replaced by an alien pod.

"This can’t be true: if aliens had abducted Rowan, they would have replaced him with someone whose looks would allow him to pass for a normal human specimen."

Gene Robinson sparked outrage when he became the world's first openly gay bishop in a worship ceremony at an ice rink in 2003. He lives with his "dearly beloved husband," Mark.

Five bishops have left the Church of England to become Roman Catholics.

Cheers,

LSP

Goddess Watch

If you go to the improbably named Ebeneezer Herchurch Lutheran congregation in San Francisco, you can buy a neatly crafted Goddess Rosary. Or save yourself the bother and order online for a mere $35.00, post & packaging included. They have a prayer too, which goes like this:

Our Mother who is within us

we celebrate your many names.

Your wisdom come.

Your will be done,

unfolding from the depths within us.

Each day you give us all that we need.

You remind us of our limits

and we let go.

You support us in our power

and we act with courage.

For you are the dwelling place within us

the empowerment around us

and the celebration among us

now and forever. Amen.

I guess the oppressive, patriarchal Lord's Prayer just wasn't good enough for them and, while we're in bizarre religion mode, "Vicky" Gene Robinson has announced his resignation so that he can be with his "beloved husband," Mark. But that won't be till 2013.

Odd how demented space creatures have made such inroads into the Church.

Stay on the horse,

LSP

Gene Robinson - Mind Like A Steel Trap!

Surely that's not an Adams Apple?

The vocal champion of the variously gendered, Bishop "Vicky" Gene Robinson of New Hampshire, has been at it again. According to him, St. Paul's admonitions against homosexuality were really written against heterosexuals having homosexual sex, not against real homosexuals having homosexual sex. Gene thinks the latter is great but doesn't like the former, which he reckons is pretty perverted. Speaking to CNSNews.com, the pelosian pontiff stated:

“We have to understand that the notion of a homosexual sexual orientation is a notion that’s only about 125 years old... That is to say, St. Paul was talking about people that he understood to be heterosexual engaging in same-sex acts... It never occurred to anyone in ancient times that a certain minority of us would be born being affectionally oriented to people of the same sex... So it did seem like against their nature to be doing so.”

Here's what St. Paul says, Romans 1:26-27:

"For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet."

Presumably the Archdruid of Canterbury is busy apologizing for the Apostle at the fudge factory that is the General Synod; see the excellent All Seeing Eye for commentary. Myself? I find Gene's gay logic remarkable, and If you want a discussion of the arguments from a trad perspective, check out Robert Gagnon's site.

I tell you, it's enough to make me reach for m'gun(s) - but more of that anon.

Shoot straight,

LSP

Resist The Invasion!

Looks like a Bishop - Is an Alien

Top British boffin, Simon Conway Morris, professor of evolutionary paleobiology at Cambridge University, has announced that space aliens are likely to be "just like us", according to the U.K's Guardian newspaper, ATS and GNN.

Morris warns that human look-alike extraterrestrials will probably be looters, on the lookout for water, minerals and fuel, driven by "greed, violence and a tendency to exploit others' resources."

Demented Space Creature

This will come as no surprise to LSP readers who have followed this site's longstanding disclosure reportage of off-world attempts to subvert Church and State.

Destroy All Humans!

Resist the invasion! Trijicon, Aimpoint, Eotech and Schmidt & Bender will help, as will high cal. precision rifles, custom knives, mastery of horsemanship, a renewed SMOM (Sovereign Military Order of the Knights of Malta, RIP V.F.) and the powerful intercession of Our Lady of Victory.

Deus Vult.

LSP