Rogue Bishop Found Deep in the Tundra?

Rowan

Rumours that the elusive former Bishop of Calgary, Derek Hoskin, had left earth along with his mythically small denomination ACoC (Anglican Church of Canada), may be unfounded.

Anglican Bishop?

A crack team of Russian scientists have just concluded DNA testing on hair samples taken from deep within the frozen wasteland of Siberia, leading them to speculate that they have discovered a new species, part man, part monkey.

Derek

According to scientists at the Universities of Moscow and St. Petersburg, the hair "came from a human-like creature which is not a Homosapien yet is more closely related to man than a monkey. We think we have found an Anglican Bishop, possibly Derek Hoskin."

Rowan?

Previous attempts to verify supposed sightings of Derek Hoskin have failed due to lack of evidence, but three separate DNA tests of the "yeti hair" may put the enigma to rest. A fourth test is set to take place in the United Kingdom.

An alternative theory suggests that the mysterious hair may come from the outgoing Archbishop of Canterbury.

Derek? Or Rowan?

Neither Lambeth Palace nor the Diocese of Calgary were available for comment.

LSP

Archbishop Abducted!

Alien

According to the controversial gay bishop of New Hampshire, Gene Robinson, the Archbishop of Canterbury has been abducted by aliens.

"Aliens have come and taken Rowan away from us. They have left something that looks like him but we don't recognise him anymore," stated Robinson to the U.K.'s Daily Mail.

Druid

Experts are divided on the date of Rowan Williams' abduction but some believe that the bearded bishop was replaced by a space creature when he became a druid, at the Gorsedd of Bards ceremony in 2002.

Others disagree. Anglican Samizdat thinks it unlikely that that the Archbishop of Canterbury has been replaced by an alien pod.

"This can’t be true: if aliens had abducted Rowan, they would have replaced him with someone whose looks would allow him to pass for a normal human specimen."

Gene Robinson sparked outrage when he became the world's first openly gay bishop in a worship ceremony at an ice rink in 2003. He lives with his "dearly beloved husband," Mark.

Five bishops have left the Church of England to become Roman Catholics.

Cheers,

LSP

Archdruid of Canterbury

photo thanks to All Seeing Eye & GOT here

From the Daily Mail:

"The Archbishop of Canterbury last night admitted the future of the Church of England was 'chaotic and uncertain'. Rowan Williams said 'God knows' what will happen amid attempts by the Vatican to lure Anglican clergy to convert to Roman Catholicism."

Well go figure, ++Rowan, spiritual heir to Augustine, druid, dhimmi, sharia endorsing writer of incomprehensible theology and all round Anglo-Catholic sell out. But hold on, something's wrong with the list - ah yes, the Augustine bit.

Lets see how many in the U.K. swim the Tiber for Rome, maybe few but I'd be surprised if trads are staying in out of love for their leader.

Guns tomorrow.

LSP

What A Filthy Mess! Canine Postscipt

Dirty, very, very dirty. But don't me wrong, I'm not making a thinly veiled attack on the ethical standards of TEC (The Episcopal Church) and its ongoing legal blitzkreig against Christians. No, not even against its leaderene Boy Bishop, Katherine Schori and the Archdruid of Canterbury, Rowan Williams, not a bit of it - I'm referring to the old Marlin Model 60 pictured above.

It belongs to a parishioner who was complaining that her rifle wasn't feeding or ejecting properly, so she brought it in from the truck and sure enough, it was a tribute to the weapon that it worked at all. Anyway, I gave it a clean while she went off to clean the church - a fair swap, I figured.

A bit of elbow grease later and all was well; then the door bell rang and low and behold! Three policemen with M4s.

"Is there a person out the back with a rifle?"

"Just me Officer. I was cleaning it. You see, I'm the priest."

I showed them the Mod. 60, resisting the temptation to ask for a look at the assualt rifles and off they went - no harm done. It seems that my DWN (Dog War Neighbour) had lodged a complaint. I felt bitter. First its incessant pit bullian barking and now spurious visits by the Storm Troopers, God bless 'em...

So off I went thinking uncharitable thoughts when who should roll up but DWN himself. He didn't look too well but managed to shuffle up for a chat.

"Sorry I called the police, preacher."

"Thanks."

"See, I figured you were gonna shoot my dogs."

"No, I'm not going to shoot your dogs."

"See, I don't feel so good..."

And with that, DWN lifts his shirt to reveal a massive scar running the length of his belly. I'll spare you the details but he thanked the Lord that he was still alive and I assured him of my prayers, as he assured me that he wouldn't dial in an airstrike next time I cleaned a rifle at the back of the house.

The dogs still bark but I've increased in charity so it doesn't seem so bad and the Model 60 fires fine. The police are happy with their M4s and have invited me down to their range, which is alright by me. As for TEC, Schori, Williams & the secular humanist project, I'm not so sure, but that's a different story.

Have a blessed Feast of the Trinity.

LSP