Saturday, June 6, 2009

What A Filthy Mess! Canine Postscipt

Dirty, very, very dirty. But don't me wrong, I'm not making a thinly veiled attack on the ethical standards of TEC (The Episcopal Church) and its ongoing legal blitzkreig against Christians. No, not even against its leaderene Boy Bishop, Katherine Schori and the Archdruid of Canterbury, Rowan Williams, not a bit of it - I'm referring to the old Marlin Model 60 pictured above.

It belongs to a parishioner who was complaining that her rifle wasn't feeding or ejecting properly, so she brought it in from the truck and sure enough, it was a tribute to the weapon that it worked at all. Anyway, I gave it a clean while she went off to clean the church - a fair swap, I figured.

A bit of elbow grease later and all was well; then the door bell rang and low and behold! Three policemen with M4s.

"Is there a person out the back with a rifle?"
"Just me Officer. I was cleaning it. You see, I'm the priest."

I showed them the Mod. 60, resisting the temptation to ask for a look at the assualt rifles and off they went - no harm done. It seems that my DWN (Dog War Neighbour) had lodged a complaint. I felt bitter. First its incessant pit bullian barking and now spurious visits by the Storm Troopers, God bless 'em...

So off I went thinking uncharitable thoughts when who should roll up but DWN himself. He didn't look too well but managed to shuffle up for a chat.

"Sorry I called the police, preacher."
"See, I figured you were gonna shoot my dogs."
"No, I'm not going to shoot your dogs."
"See, I don't feel so good..."

And with that, DWN lifts his shirt to reveal a massive scar running the length of his belly. I'll spare you the details but he thanked the Lord that he was still alive and I assured him of my prayers, as he assured me that he wouldn't dial in an airstrike next time I cleaned a rifle at the back of the house.

The dogs still bark but I've increased in charity so it doesn't seem so bad and the Model 60 fires fine. The police are happy with their M4s and have invited me down to their range, which is alright by me. As for TEC, Schori, Williams & the secular humanist project, I'm not so sure, but that's a different story.

Have a blessed Feast of the Trinity.



tom said...

Just don't tell him when you start taking recreational trips to Tiger Valley, being as it's conveniently located for range time.

Oh, for what it's worth, since you live nearby. There's a "Sportsman's Range" that is FREE, as in no money, you bring own targets on Ft. Hood. Only out to 100 yards. They have a pistol range too. You can shoot anything you want out to 100 yards (or closer if you like, as you can put targets at 25, 50, or 75 too) for free with your own targets provided it's not .50BMG (boring at 100 yards anyway) or NFA as those both require approval of the rangemasters.

Some guy named tom can tell you that no matter how much you beg and plead, they don't let you use the armored division tank and artillery ranges, nor gunship training fields to shoot things even if they are otherwise out of service/action and your dad's cousin is a 3 star and your dad is a Lt Colonel. They still say "NOPE". Not that I know anybody that has tried, but it's FREE instead of hourly rates, so if you come up with a lack of private land to exercise the SMLE on, the US Military will oblige near where you seem to be stationed.

Range Control is 254-287-1110 and 254-287-0204 and in yer region if you feel like checking it out. Reasonably nice facilities. They generally run from 8:30AM to 2:45pm for civilians, though call first in case they are using the range for military purposes. No Shotguns except slug usage. Destroying target frames is frowned upon. Must register firearms on entry and no more than 5 firearms per person per day allowed on base.

Not much of a trip for you as it seems to be kinda in yer backyard and you can follow up with a trip to the U.S. Cavalry Store outlet in town, too, and accidentally buy one of those Sykes-Fairbairn knives you always really wanted anyway and a lot of camo and other cool gear! Makes a nice day trip and everybody is eminently polite.

Tiger Valley is much cooler but it isn't at all free. Conundrums!

The Suburban Bushwacker said...

Ah the simple life of the country parson, you make it sound so nourishing.

Do you remember 'The Little world of Don Camillo'? The BBC did it as a series in the 80's and there are at least 8 or 9 books translated into english.


LSP said...

Will definitely check out Fort Hood - didn't know there was a civilian option.

Speaking of military - TXSG want me to go in for chaplaincy with a decent rank. Haven't found old UKLF discharge (hon) certificate to complete officer packet. 1/2 appealing & I liked the HQ people a lot - but I've got a fair bit on as it is; still... Will look at TV too.

SBW - nourishing in its way and yes, there's more than a few similarities w/Don Camillo! I definitely prefer the pace of ministry here compared to East Coast ghetto (well go figure) but the gossip & small town intrigue gets annoying...

God bless.


ParaPacem said...

"Archdruid" - I LOVE it.... that put the second smile on my face that I've had today! Thank you.
I plan to follow your exceptional blog BUT - if you encounter the one of mine which tends to hover between sarcastically vile and borderline profane, and youa re offended, please let me know and I will follow yours 'silently' without my blog ID showing.
pax tecum, pax et bene.

LSP said...

Thanks for the plaudit!

+ thanks for your blog - not offended in the slightest.

But I am offended by the wicked Druid and his transgendered playmate pontiff in NYC...

pax et bonum