Infest-ival, A Guest Post By Jules Smith

Here at the Compound we're delighted to bring you this guest post by Jules Smith, on a three day assignment at a hippy festival, a freak fayre, somewhere in England.

Duty found me knee-deep in the English countryside at a hippy festival. Despite not wanting to catch any germs, I felt it was in the interest of the farming community to find out what’s infecting the crops and destroying the greenbelt. 

I went armed with notebook, pen, camera and a vat of hand sanitiser. And here I am, thankfully still alive but not without the help of aspirin and bottles of home-brewed cider to erase the alarming visuals. 

I’m only one day into this three day event but here’s what I’ve uncovered so far. Brace yourself.

Disco cutie. Wouldn’t you just want to take him home to meet your mama... 

The King. Actually introduced himself this way. I kid you not. He told me he was trying to take over the world and sort out American and English politics. Because naturally, a fruit loop with clothes pegs clipped to his crown is what we’ve all been missing. I don’t know about you, but I’m won over. God. Help. Us.

Bride of Dracula - Trying to eat someone's baby.

Fashion takes itself to a whole new level. Even Primark are slamming their doors. (WTF is he wearing?) Even the guitarist is stumped and he's wearing to sunglasses to shield the intensity. 

Get your frikkin hair cut and take that stupid hat off.

Look! A sheep! Shoot it! (Although in this neck of the woods he might be coming a cropper in another way when a loved-up hippy on magic mushrooms spots a sitting duck or "sheep.") 

Quick! A bear! Shoot it! Don’t pay any attention to the red, military coat on the left. This person has absolutely no comprehension  of “fighting warrior.”

I can do two hula hoops at once but …errr… I can’t brush my hair.

The infested, tantra, hippy love nest. (throws up in mouth)

And looky do. I can carry my drink around in an inflatable unicorn! It’s a five pound deposit in case you don’t bring it back. I keep setting them off down river with puncture wounds. Worth a fiver of anybody's money. 

I want to see how badly they cry when they run out of unicorns and I replace them with MAGA mugs. Heh.

SOMEBODY GET ME OUT OF HERE.

Jules

Another One Bites The Dust, Clinton Body Count

It's strange, it's weird, it's obviously a total coincidence that people connected with the Clintons keep dying, especially when they're about to give testimony against the former President and thwarted wannabe, Hillary. With that in mind, July's been a busy month for the growing Clinton Body Count.

Klaus Eberwein, a former Haitian government official, was ready to testify against Clinton Foundation corruption when, bizarrely, he was found dead this month with a gunshot wound to the head. 

Suicide, apparently. Eberwain claimed that:

"a paltry  0.6 percent of donations granted by international donors to the Clinton Foundation with the express purpose of directly assisting Haitians actually ended up in the hands of Haitian organizations. A further 9.6 percent ended up with the Haitian government. The remaining 89.8 percent – or $5.4 billion – was funneled to non-Haitian organizations."

Well, his testimony won't end up in court. Eberwain joins Peter Smith, John Ashe, and well over 30 others who mysteriously died by suicide, freak accident or random violence, such as Seth Rich.

You'd think our friends in the lying, corrupt, mendacious, venal, smug, aggressive media would cover the story. But no, nothing to see here, move along.

Lock Her Up,

LSP

Is The Bishop of Chichester a Rainbow Pony?

Church of England observers are suggesting that the Bishop of Chichester, Martin Warner, is a rainbow pony.

"Today's society does not get to trump the whole canon of scripture inspired by God the Holy Spirit - damage done by the institutional Church or by misguided individual Christians is a vain, arrogant and misguided argument, typical of a rainbow pony," stated one pundit, "Same sex attraction does not move one toward perfection."

Others agree. "I always thought the Bishop of Chichester was a man but after his statement on the recent Sex Synod I'm not so sure. He sounds a lot like a rainbow pony," opined one Synod watcher.

The allegations followed Warner's comments on the CofE's York Synod, which voted to welcome people who had undergone sex change treatment and asked the House of Bishops to develop special naming rituals for transsexuals. The Synod also voted to ban "conversion therapy" for people who wanted to change their same-sex attraction. 

Warner appeared to sanction the Synod debates and their outcome, hailing them as an indication of "engagement with some of the most important, complex and sensitive human stories in today's society." He went on to state that "more time will be needed" to "understand what we have learned at Synod."

The Bishop of Chichester concluded his endorsement of the Synod's gay and trans advocacy by implying it was part of God's "movement of all things to perfection."

"Whatever narrative emerges from our interrogation of received wisdom and contemporary experience, we as Christians must be explicit about the God who creates us in love and who in mercy and tenderness sustains the movement of all things to perfection, over the rainbow."

Martin Warner has been Bishop of Chichester since 2012. 

LSP

Pastoralia

By 11.30 am I'd driven 100 miles to visit two people, and that's the way it is in a country that's decided to be a road. Still, I'm not complaining, the drive through the Texan countryside was alright, I35 less so, but whatever. 

More importantly, the person I saw in hospital had complained the week before of being "whupped like a dog." She was a whole lot better today and I said, "Your spirit has returned," and so it had. Praise God for that.

Giles Fraser

Back at the Compound I reflected on pastoralia in the missions and what I'd been trained for in England, before the hideous onslaught of womyn priests, trans naming ceremonies and the craven capitulation of Cursitor Doom and associated comshill leftist clergypersons to Islamism. 

Back then it was about walking around the parish, flying the flag and visiting shut-ins who just remembered the last Boer War, well, WWI anyway. "It was all horses and guns, Father," they'd say, cheerily. May they rest in peace and Rule Britannia.

These days it's about climbing into the rig and putting miles on the clock and you know what, it's not time wasted.

God bless,

LSP

Suicidal Robots

Via Zerohedge: "We were promised flying cars, instead we got suicidal robots."

You can read all about the suicidal Knightsbridge K5 security bot over at Zero and while you're at it, ponder the glorious future we were promised.

Leisure and prosperity for all.

A bit like the priestess movement. 

That was going to fill the pews.

But didn't.

In other news, Mr. Trump has told the CIA to stop giving guns and ammo to the Jihad. About bloody time.

Santiago Matamoros,

LSP

Deconquista

It seems Spanish leftists with the help of Saudi/Qatri cash are working hard to turn the great Catholic Cathedral of Cordoba into a mosque, in a kind of deconquista. You can read all about it in Zerohedge, here's a snapshot:

In 550 the Cathedral of Córdoba was a Christian basilica, dedicated to a saint; then, in 714, it was occupied by the Muslims, who destroyed it and converted it into the Great Mosque of Córdoba during the reign of Caliph Abd al Rahman I. The site was returned to Catholic worship by King Ferdinand III in 1523 and became the current great Cathedral of Córdoba, one of the most important sites of Western Christianity. Now an alliance of secularists and Islamists are trying to turn the church back to Islamic worship.

What drives the Left's love-affair with Islam? Certainly a mutual hatred of Christianity and the culture and spirit of the West which the Faith shaped. But here's a thought. 

When the cathedrals are all mosques and the call to prayer sounds out over Europe, who will you turn to when Pride organizers are being thrown off buildings and women stoned for adultery. The sharia police?

Good luck with that and I'll wager my fighting monkey against any six of your hijab wearing feminists that the red idiocracy will live to regret their infatuation with the meteorite worshipers.

By the Beard of the Prophet,

LSP

Inspection

There was a time and not that long ago, when it was all done by horse but now it's all about the car. That's why I drove to Gene's to get my rig tested. I like Gene's auto, they're friendly, their work's good, they're not too expensive and they have an abstract pine cone sculpture in the waiting room.

You can gaze at the bronze colored pine cone installation as you wait for your vehicle to get tested. But not for long because Gene's completes the inspection in about 3 minutes. Quick work, leaving little time for art philosophy; does the pine cone's form follow its function? Who knows, time to split.

Inspection ticket in hand, head to the courthouse and behold the majestic edifice of The Law. There it is, standing tall and we have to thank Willie Nelson for his part in restoring the place after it burned down in the '90s.

After giving our beneficent rulers $76, leave the courthouse with new registration and pay your respects at the war memorials. One for the Confederate dead and another for all the rest. In God we trust, may they rest in peace. Then have a gaze at the Chisholm Trail plaque; I'd never noticed it before and for sure, this town played its part in that history.

With images of the great cattle drives playing in my mind I drove back to the Compound, and I'll tell you this.

It's a whole lot easier to get your vehicle inspected and registered in the country than it is in the city. I file this exciting story under Country Life in Texas.

God bless,

LSP

And at Moscow Airport...

Well done, RT, for this advertising masterpiece.

Твоё здоровье!

LSP

Sightings Reveal Diocese of Oxford And Communion Hybrids

Newly declassified files from the UK's Ministry of Defence reveal a close encounter of the bizarre kind, detailing a chance sighting of the Diocese of Oxford.

An Oxfordshire resident saw the off-world diocese hovering over a field in 1998, where it made crop circles. According to the anonymous witness, the mysterious object was 40 foot tall, pink, covered in flashing lights and decorated with the diocesan logo, a large Egyptian Ankh.

Oxford

The observer sent drawings of the strange craft to the MOD, stating,"I have developed contact with these craft and their enemy forces." However, the MOD did not investigate and the object disappeared.

Communion Hybrid

In related news, ET xenologists have discovered a new form of semi-extraterrestrial life, the Anglican Communion Hybrid. Communion Hybrids are believed to be part human, part alien Grey and have "telepathic" powers.

"The being (Communion Hybrid) seemed to be telepathic," stated one expert, "And his appearance was rough and weathered as in premature aging."

A Grey

According to an eyewitness' drawing, the humanoid appeared to be malformed and suffering from a form of mental illness. These apparent physical defects reveal that hybridization is potentially vulnerable to error, indicating that the Grey's genetic program experienced random error beyond their control.

Random Error

When questioned about their part in the hybrid program, the Diocese of Oxford refused to comment.

Ad Astra,

LSP

Liberal Tears

Thanks to Mattexian, I've discovered a hot new line of merchandising, Liberal Tears.

Liberal Tears can go on your Yeti

On your flask

Your Crying Window

Laptop

Coffee Cup

Wherever, Liberal Tears are guaranteed to "fit perfectly on your car, refrigerator, travel mug, window, laptop or non safe space surface!"

You can buy them here.

MAGA,

LSP

Ain't No God In Mexico, This Speaker Rocks

You may not know this, how could you, but the Compound suffered catastrophic 'phone failure the other day. A venerable Samsung GS4  gave up the ghost, plunging LSPland into disarray and chaos. What a disaster.

Comms got on it right away and replaced the faulty unit with a reconditioned (used) GS6. Problem solved and with it, T Mobile's streaming music service, which lets you play music off of Amazon et al at no cost to your data. Good result and it meant a new Bluetooth speaker.

I opted for the JBL Flip 4 and guess what, it sounds really good. It's filling the porch with Waylon right now and I'm impressed with the clarity and depth of sound. The little beast beast kicks out some bass, too. Happy Trails? Why not.

Moral of the story? It's good when tech works for you instead of the other way around and, if you're after a cheapish, portable, waterproof Bluetooth speaker which sounds good, check out JPL's Flip 4. Review to follow.

Is there a God in Mexico? Listen to the song.

LSP

Johnnie Walker Says Kerry's An Idiot

A new trove of US intel  emails has been discovered, thanks to a mysterious hacker known as "Johnnie Walker." The emails reveal what we've known all along, that Senator John Kerry is "an idiot."

One Redditor described the contents of these earth shattering emails:

Found a couple of things that are interesting. A Russian scholar "Valery Solovei" is sending Robert Otto a monthly report on Russia. Also, Otto and his buddies HATE John Kerry and continually refer to him as an idiot!

Perhaps all is not lost in the murky, cloak and dagger world of the US intelligence community.

Mind how you go,

LSP