Archbishop of Canterbury Panhandling in Detroit!

Archbishop Justin Welby, leader of the worldwide Anglican Communion, may be a bishop but evidence shows that he's also an aggressive panhandler on Detroit's notorious 8 Mile Road.

Recent photographs reveal the toffee-nosed Old Etonian grifting for spare change outside of pawn shops in America's former Motor City and shamelessly soliciting motorists for money at traffic stops.

The Archbishop's begging has caused Detroit area legislature to pass a tough new law, the Aggressive Solicitation Prohibition Act.

“If you’re getting in and out of your car, and they come right up to you — I’ve talked to people who find that intimidating,” said sponsoring Representative Mike McCready, R-Bloomfield Hills, “And I think that’s where it crosses the line from a personal request to an intimidating request.”

Welby, who once worked for Elf Oil, became a Vicar in the Church of England and quickly rose to the coveted rank of Bishop before getting promoted to Archbishop of Canterbury, the CofE's sought-after top job. But his victory was short lived.

Thanks to dwindling congregations and poor bottom line performance, the Church of England's chief executive is on the streets of Detroit, pawning episcopal regalia and begging for money.

Whether Welby's desperate bid for money will reverse the fortunes of the declining Church of England remains to be seen.

Lambeth Palace has not returned calls.

God bless,

LSP

Kim Jong-Un Space Alien!

Thanks to a Sunday Sport exclusive via a well known art philosopher, we now know that North Korea's plump dictator is, in fact, a space alien.

The startling news came after NASA scientists ran sophisticated analysis on Kim Jong-Un's appearance and eating habits. This revealed the oriental despot's space hair, tongue and extraterrestrial fondness for cheese. All hallmarks of ET origin.

According to experts, Kim was sent to earth to destabilize the planet prior to invasion by an intergalactic battle fleet of aliens.

"Kim - or whatever his space name is - was sent to earth to destabilize things," stated Keith Lockward, Professor of Space Security at the University of West Lancashire.

You can read all about it here at the world's best tabloid.

Ad Astra,

LSP

Real News

By way of celebrating President Trump's SCOTUS semi-victory, I figured I'd cook up some curry. Look, don't get me wrong, that doesn't mean the Compound's getting weak on Islamic terror or that we're about to observe Ramadan in the Missions. It's just a curry, a chicken curry, that's all it is.

A month or so ago I couldn't have managed it because the medico had removed the gnashers. Gone, like the Clinton candidacy itself, and it was reassuring to visit the dentist today and discover that everything was healing as it should. 

You see, what they've done is screw two screws into the lower jaw. These will become "implants." Sounds nasty, doesn't it, and I have to say, keep your teeth if you can. Still, a good result; such is the miracle of modern dentistry. 

In other news, I decided to hone my skills as a journalist by interviewing the Cadet. You can watch this incredible footage here. And note this, unlike CNN and the networks, it's not fake news.

Shoot, Fish, Ride,

LSP

Mostly Bulls**t

Thanks to Project Veritas, the world now knows what everyone who isn't a Democrat has known all along, that CNN's faked-up pseudo reporting on President Trump's alleged "collusion" with the Russians is "mostly bulls**t."

Three outstanding members of the lying, corrupt, venal, mendacious, smug, rude, hypocritical mainstream media have had to resign from CNN and what can we say?

According to one source in DC, who prefers to remain anonymous, "CNN actively tried to oust a sitting Prez." What a crew of overmighty goof-off clowns. 

Karmic lashback aside, CNN has obviously been badly hacked by Kremlins. Whether FBI Mueller is a Russian plant and General Flynn was the victim of Muscovite payback remains to be seen.

Your Old Pal,

LSP

Don't Be A Pathetic Lib, Fish

Now that the risible "Russians hacked the election" narrative is dying the death of a thousand failing PR spins, the team decided to go fishing. We'd tried Soldiers Bluff the day before and the young 'un did well with a good sized Hybrid but I struck out. Today would be different, I promised, at the dam spillway.

Sure enough it was. The water churned and foamed and we cast off with circle hooks and worms. A few minutes in and Boom! out came a decent Black Drum and we could see the Gar schooling off the current. Big excitement as the prehistoric looking river monsters circled and prowled like submarines in search of prey.

After a few false starts, as the fickle Gar took the bait, ran with it and then let go, I felt an encouraging tug on the line. That firmed up, the rod bent double and the fight was on; I thought I'd caught a Catfish but no, a big Bass broke the surface and tried to run downstream. Sorry fish, you're coming in and up came a decent sized Leviathan. Great result.

Then the Cadet started catching, Black Drum, and that's the main thing. You want kids to experience the action so that they get into the sport. Otherwise they'll be tempted to write it all off as a boring game of waiting for endlessly non-appearing evidence and give up. Or worse yet, be forced to retract the story altogether as a phony piece of CNN-style agitprop.

That wasn't the case today; it was fish on and thank you mighty Brazos for the opportunity.

Tight lines,

LSP

NASA To Announce Alien Life

Thanks to the hacker group, Anonymous, we know that US space agency, NASA, is on the verge of announcing what we've all known all along, that alien lifeforms exist.

The space aliens resemble human beings but have no soul and a different concept of "truth", which causes them to lie.

Evidence suggests that the off-world creatures have no fixed gender and can change their sex at will. Others appear to be sexless but addicted to power and money.

DNC operatives and media executives at MSNBC and CNN were quick to denounce the hacking as yet another example of Kremlin interference in the US democratic process.

Have the Russians hacked NASA and if so, should we thank Putin for revealing the truth?

Your Old Friend,

LSP

California Bans Travel To Texas!

California has banned its civil servants from state-funded travel to Texas because the Lone Star State "discriminates."

Such tragedy. Who knows, perhaps the Rainbow State will ban all its citizens from visiting Texas.

Shoot straight,

LSP

Driven Insane

Pop legend superstar, Miley Cyrus, claims she's a genderless spirit who's no different than an animal. And I don't want to seem beastly or somehow dogmatic but I put it to you that there are good spirits and bad spirits.

In related news, a pregnant woman, Kaci Sullivan, insists she's a man. To be fair, Kaci doesn't look much like a woman although, like many women, she does “love seeing my baby grow inside of me.”

As a great philosopher once wrote, those whom the Gods would destroy, they first drive insane.

Make of that what you will.

Your Friend,

LSP

Cooking With LSP?

Can you cook with LSP? That's a very good question and I thought I'd put it to the test with some Country Style Ribs. More chops than ribs but whatever, they're cheap. Then I noticed that we'd all been here before.

Perhaps, I thought, the addition of a Glock 21 would change things up enough to warrant a separate post. Would the pistol improve the recipe? Yes, like Deep State Mueller adding to the WaPo's hoax machine, the Glock helped.

As I browned off the chops, deglazed the onion, garlic, celery, carrot, tomato paste, bay leaf base with apple cider vinegar, then yes, for sure, the Glock helped. Everything felt more secure, this was going to work.

Then, when the house smelled of the delicious aroma of simmering pork and the time came to add this awesomness to a plate of mashed potato, did the Glock win out? Yes, it did, because these Country Style Ribs were better than ever and twice as good.

Moral of the story? Cook with a pistol, maybe a Glock, your call, there's no "rule."

Weapons sorted, eat your scoff like a warrior. And that's cooking, with...

LSP

The Saint Michael's Conference, 2017

Normally I'd be on the staff of the St. Michael's Conference for young people right now, overseeing the liturgical dance, teaching a couple of classes and leading discussion groups on UFOs, Cryptids and Why You Shouldn't Be A Thieving Hippy. But this year I took a break and sent a cadet instead. "I don't want to cramp your style," I told my son.

Still, I miss the event. It's an outstanding, immersive course in traditional catholicism as seen through an Anglican lens. Something like an Anglo-Catholic boot camp perhaps, and a lot of fun for the kids who don't seem to miss guitar playing nuns, wymin priests and all the other skulduggery of unpopular modern worship and watered down belief.  

At the Conference the staff don't peddle that, they do worship and teach according to the Faith which has been handed down to us by Christ through the Apostles. 

There is great, Spirit-filled converting power in this and in the end, when the ersatz versions of Christianity have run their course, it's this Faith which will be left standing against the gates of Hell.

Those, says Christ, won't prevail.

God bless,

LSP 

Solstice!

Yes, you got that right, it's the Solstice, the longest day of the year, a day when hippies come out to play and sing. 

In England that means dusting off the antlers, putting on your unicorn mask and heading off to The Stones for mysticke revelry. 

Keep it Clean, Hippies

If you're a top-level hippy, you can even dress up like a druid wizard. All good, harmless fun, eh?

Face Painting

Sure it is, until you wake up from a crazed body painting session and discover someone's ripped off your giro, leaving you possessed by a Special Brew demon.

The Magic Of The Stones

Here at the Compound we're not marking the Solstice by travelling to Austin's famous fiberglass stone circle, much less its superior English forbear, heck, we didn't even make it to Burning Man. But we are saying this.

Hose Them Down

If you meet the hippy on the road, hose it down, AR15 optional.

Love and Peace,

LSP

Laughing My #Ossoff

Have you noticed how libs are so very sure of themselves, how they're so smugly settled science on the right side of history and anyone who disagrees with them is really kind of stupid? 

Like, you ignorant farmer, don't you understand that paying higher taxes and getting rid of national borders is going to make you richer and our country stronger? I mean to say, how dumb can you get, flyover people. And no, you're not invited to our Chappaqua dinner party.

Loser

Leaving aside the insanity, there's an overweening pride in this spirit of condescension that matastasizes into hubris. We saw this in the last election; Hillary was so obviously, so without doubt going to win that even the thought of standing against her was laughable. Then she lost and lost hard.

Same again in Montana. Trump was so self-evidently wrong that the Democrats had to win, such a no-brainer, right? Except that it wasn't and the Democrats were body-slammed, despite a Guardian reporter whining about her glasses getting broken. But that was Montana, where all the fascist ranchers live, so maybe the race wasn't fair from the get-go. Next time, in Georgia, it'd be different.

Now We're Going To Win!

Georgia's 6th District was going to be a turning point, an oh so clear-cut referendum on the evil stupidity of the Trump Administration. Just to make sure voters went with the who-could-ever-doubt-it, right in every way Democrats, millionaire socialists poured $24 million into Ossoff's campaign, making it the most expensive congressional race in history. They had to win, Ossoff was going to be the Trump Slayer.

A Typical Rich Socialist 

Then he lost. Who knows, perhaps people don't like being condescended to by bi-coastal elite millionaire socialists. Perhaps they're ignorant enough to think that having a border makes sense if you're going to have a country and that paying less tax puts more money in your pocket. 

Who knows, maybe the people of Georgia are so invincibly, stupidly racist that they think transgender bathrooms aren't the burning civil rights issue of our time. It's all a great $24 million mystery.

In the meanwhile, I'm with "sewer rat barbie," Kellyanne Conway.

Laughing my #Ossoff.

LSP