Friday, February 17, 2017

It's the Dyslexic Deacon! Sinodd Rocks Wobbly



Yes, he's back and reporting on the venerable but shrinking Church of England and its recent Gendral Sinodd. Over to you, Deacon:

The Chruch of Ingland's Genderal Sinodd has desided not to take nowt of a long-aweighted £360,000 Bishops' Rapport on Homosectuality, Mantrimony, and Status Quo (with reverence to 'Down the dustpipe' 1970, Whatever you want 1979, and Burning bridges 1988).

Sinodd Delgeates

APB Justsin Wobbly, Promate of Ingland's Naglican Chruch, said 'All plobrems are made in the image of God'. He will now aks the Chruch Conmissiomers for £500,000 for a much stronger dysagreement.

The Church of England's Genderal  Sinodd is famous for being unable to affirm that marriage is something that takes place between a man and a woman.




Rumours that Justsin Wobbly's coat of arms now include a rainbow unicorn are presently unconfirmed.

LSP

Churches And Pubs



England used to be known as Mary's Dowry because it had such a wealth of religious houses and churches dedicated to Our Lady and it still does. Two of those churches are Southwall Minster and St. Mary the Virgin, Nottingham.


Southwall Minster

The Minster isn't far from Nottingham and you can visit the monumental Norman church after reassuring yourself that Sherwood Forest does, in fact, exist. As I understand it, Cardinal Wolsey stayed at the Minster during his fall from grace and doubtless sat on one of the remarkably well preserved 14th century misericords in the quire. 


Chapter House

Parliamentary horse were also barracked in the church at the end of the Civil War and miraculously didn't smash up the interior in a fit of puritan zeal. After marveling at the stonemasonry in the Chapter House, you can fall back to several pubs. 


The Admiral Rodney

The Team favored the Admiral Rodney, with its cosy fireplace and big bang for the buck ploughman's lunch. What a good pub, check it out if you're in Southwall.


St. Mary's

St. Mary the Virgin in central Nottingham isn't shabby either, a soaring perpendicular gothic church with fine Anglo-Catholic revival altars. I imagined the liturgies that took place in the sanctuary and chancel, with their quiet power to lift heart, soul and mind to God in conjunction with the architecture of the place. 


Mary Chapel

It's high, literally, and invites the soul to ascend to its creator. For now, the incense, plainsong and choreography of the ancient Western Rite have gone. Perhaps, one day, all this will return, along with the rough and ready natural catholicism of the English themselves.

High Church

Uplifted by St. Mary's, stroll over to Nottingham castle. Yes, like Sherwood Forest, there is one, and visit the Olde Trip to Jerusalem, which claims to be one of the oldest pubs in England. Then, as you drink your pint(s), have a go at the pub's famous ring and horn game, in which you attempt to swing a brass ring onto a horn attached to the wall. 


LSP on the Olde Trip

It took me a few goes but after a while the right ballistics chart fell into place and the ring found its target. Have a go, don't be shy, and feel absurdly pleased with yourself if you achieve the objective.


A Typical Unicorn

Speaking of ring and horn games, the venerable Church of England has rejected a report by its bishops stating that marriage is something that's confined to men and women. I'll resist the temptation to accuse the Church of England's Synod of being taken over by rainbow riders, unicorn wranglers and dhimmwits.

God bless,

LSP

Thursday, February 9, 2017

#MEGA



What do the English care about, I asked myself as I strolled across Trafalgar Square in what was once the capital of Empire. I soon found out.





Scouse Lives Matter




Rebuild The Wall




And the French House.

As always, London was great and big fun to see old friends.

#MEGA

LSP


Monday, February 6, 2017

Act of War



Perhaps they didn't like the message, maybe a rogue algo went off the rez and attacked but whatever the cause, Blogger.com took LSP down in a preemptive strike last week. Boom. An unprovoked act of war.




The site's back up now and the Team's regrouping, somewhere in the UK. Stay tuned for a bigger, faster, stronger LSP in the near future at lonestarparson.com, free from the dead hand of tech giant Google/Blogger censors.


Bigger, Faster, Stronger

But as the famous Old Etonian George Orwell liked to say, "If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear."

We will win this war.

That is all.

LSP

Saturday, January 28, 2017

Trump Bans Muslims



Disaster. Epic, global, catastrophic disaster. And all because President Trump has stopped people from 7 Muslim countries travelling to the US. How Fascist.


Muslims

No. How smart. Who's driving trucks into Christmas crowds, chopping people up with machetes and shooting up newsrooms? Methodists? Followers of the Dalai Lama? 


A Muslim

No, it's Muslims. Everywhere you turn they're going Mohammad and killing people. So why let them into your country? 

Here's another thought, how about the rapefugees move to Qatar and Saudi Arabia.

Oh, those countries won't let them in.

Kizmet,

LSP

Friday, January 27, 2017

March For Life



Hundreds of thousands of people marched through Washington DC today to protest the rights of the unborn child. This is an old march and well attended, some 650,000 were present in 2013 and today's event was in the ballpark. 

However, the smug, corrupt, elite leftist media has mostly ignored it. They always do, they're anti-life. This is an article of faith for them, like the Creed for orthodox Christians.

They would far rather report on Madonna, Ashley Judd and a Sharia Muslim march whose protesters wear hats representing a special part of the female anatomy, which I can't name because this is a family blog. 


Mike Spence VP

However, the March For Life drew unqualified, unprecedented, historic support from our new Administration. Trump's VP, Mike Spence, addressed the march as did Trump's PR strategist, Kellyanne Conway. The President himself told the marchers that they had his "full support."

This has never happened before. The last administration was vehemently in favor of abortion to the extent of campaigning on the platform, and Bush/Reagan went so far as to offer messages of encouragement, but no active presence.


March For Life

That changed today with top level members of the new government addressing the hundreds of thousands strong march.

Here's a thought. Planned Parenthood, the abortion mill, is given over $1 million dollars a day in taxpayer money. Their budget is in the region of a $1 billion and their leader, Cecile Richards, gets a pleasant $500k. Nice socialist money if you can make it. But why should any of us pay for another person's abortion? 


Bad Actors

Leaving aside the ethics of the act itself, why should US taxpayers fund Cecile Richards' operation? Abortion may be right, I think it isn't, or it may be wrong, I think it is. But does it count as some kind of universally self-evident common good that we should all contribute to? I don't think so.





My teeth, on the other hand, are a different matter. All contributions gratefully received.

Defund Planned Parenthood. Take away their Lamborghinis.

NOW.

LSP

Thursday, January 26, 2017

Shia LaBeouf Hybrid Arrested



Hybrid millionaire socialist, Shia LaBeouf, was arrested for attacking a fellow protester outside of a New York museum, where the self-styled performance artist is staging a demonstration against Donald Trump.

LaBouffe is famous for being a "hybrid," a radical socialist who is also rich to the tune of $25 million. Scientists say LaBeouf is proof positive for recent advances in bio-engineering, which allow experts to splice socialist and rich elitocracy DNA together.





“This is long enough," said a leading bioengineer, "for us to try to understand how the human and pig cells mix together early on without raising ethical concerns about mature chimeric animals. If it can work for Shia, it can work for anything.”





Shia LaBuffe was heard leaving the New York police station shouting "He will not divide us." whether this was a coded reference to his spliced socialist/capitalist DNA is presently unknown.

Das Kapital,

LSP

Stop Retreating



The Retreat came to an end and it was time to leave the gun free Jesuit Compound and head for Dallas. I won't comment on the spiritual benefits of the retreat, which were great, but I'm forced to reflect on the journey back to the Metrosprawl.


I35E

Those of you who have traveled along I35E towards the gleaming Ozlike towers of the 'sprawl and arrived, unharmed, at your destination have done a remarkable thing. You have gazed upon the face of Hell, and lived.


Hell

Seriously, it was insane driving, a 20+ miles slalom through massive construction at 80 mph. No lane markers, no signalling, just devil take the hindmost and hell for leather. Mad Max springs to mind. But there is a benefit.


Dallas

You get to see a city being built before your very eyes. There's something remarkable about that but please, civic planners, design the city for people not cars. That's what I say and I'm sticking to it.

God bless,

LSP

Wednesday, January 25, 2017

Women's March Sharia Goons



If you fear highhandedness from your wives, remind them [of the teaching of God], then ignore them when you go to bed, then hit them. If they obey you, you have no right to act against them. God is most high and great. (Koran Sura 4.34)

The feminists who marched through DC and elsewhere don't like President Trump, they think he oppresses women. They also think that Islamic Sharia law is a pretty good thing, at least they do in DC, where the protest march was organized by Linda Sarsour, a pro-Hamas Sharia advocate.


Some  Sharia Clown

Among other things, like clothing regulations, lesser legal status, monogamy for women, polygamy for men, Sharia allows men to beat their wives. Apparently the feminists are down with that.


A Couple of Sharia Goons

Because this is a family blog, I won't describe the marchers' distinctive pink headgear in terms of the part of the female anatomy it represents. But I will say this. 
Girls, if the hat fits, wear it.


If The Hat Fits

Rumors that Islamic symbols have been removed from the White House may or may not be true.

That is all.

LSP

Suscipe



I know it's easy to scorn the Jesuits for being a bad crew of Marxists and associated evildoers, but Ignatius Loyola was a great saint. Here's one of his prayers, the Suscipe.

Take, Lord, and receive all my liberty,
my memory, my understanding,
and my entire will,
All I have and call my own.

You have given all to me.
To you, Lord, I return it.

Everything is yours; do with it what you will.
Give me only your love and your grace,
that is enough for me.


Powerful.

God bless,

LSP

Tuesday, January 24, 2017

Unsafe Space



Don't get me wrong, it's great to be on retreat, but it's not very safe because we're not allowed to defend ourselves.


Shia LaBeouf

There you are, quietly saying your prayers when up pops Shia LaBeouf with a pump action and takes the Rural Dean hostage, all the while screaming "he will not divide us!" 


Churchill's Back

You, steady as Winston Churchill's bust in the Oval Office, tell the deranged performance artist that he's "not allowed to bring a firearm onto the premises"  and had "better cut it out." Lawless  millionaire socialist Shia then proceeds to go postal. Disaster.


Looks Safe, Isn't Safe


Think, that nightmare scenario would have been averted if a few good men had been armed and knew how to use their weapons. But no, the Jesuits are intent on making their rural Texan haven unsafe in the name of safety.

Such casuistry.

LSP

Monday, January 23, 2017

Melania Mondays!



You've been waiting for it, we've all been waiting for it. Yes, Melania Mondays! is back, bringing you the latest in the life of America's glamorous First Lady. And what news it's been, as the former Slovenian model stepped out before the nation and the world at her husband's Inauguration.

Was she poised? Yes. Elegant? Undoubtedly. Did she make Jackie Kennedy look somehow frumpy? Some say that she did.


The Military Love Melania

Was the Sargeant who got to dance with her at the Armed Forces Ball a lucky man? Yes, he undoubtedly was. Is she the best looking First Lady ever? 


Melania gives the Magic Muslim and SloJo The Look

Maybe not to Rosie O'Donnell, laughably narcissistic Shia LeBoeuf, aging poptart Madonna and deranged Ashley Judd, but to everyone else the answer's obvious. Yes she is.




Well done, Melania, for doing your not inconsiderable best to make America great again. The nation is grateful.

MAGA,

LSP