Anglican Church of Canada's Theology Found on Mars!

Star gazing boffins at NASA believe they may have unlocked the mystery of the Anglican Church of Canada's (ACoC) missing theology, on Mars!

Mars

Hi-resolution images from NASA's Reconaissance Orbiter show the missing theology in a depressed area of the barren Red Planet, possibly the impact site of a meteor or asteroid. Resembling Morse Code, ACoC's theology consists of a series of dots and dashes which have been decoded by planetary scientist, Veronica Bray, to read:

Decoding The Theology

NEE NED ZB 6TNN DEIBEDH SIEFI EBEEE SSIEI 

ESEE SEEE !!

Others aren't convinced. "It's not really theology," stated one Xenologist, "It's more like a random series of dunes created by the swirling wind of ACoC's General Synod."

Off-World

Has the Anglican Church of Canada's theology finally been found and if so, what does it say? Or is the so-called "theology" nothing more than sand, blown by the fierce Martian wind?

Ad Astra,

LSP

Anglican Church of Canada ODs on Zombie Drug

Scores of zombielike Canadian bishops were seen staggering blindly through a Toronto suburb, weeping, babbling and foaming down their purple shirts.

But this wasn't a movie, it was a scene from the Anglican Church of Canada's (ACoC) General Synod. "I thought I was watching The Walking Dead," said one shocked Synod delegate.

Staggering

“These guys were wandering around, stumbling all over the place, and were completely out of it, they didn’t know their whereabouts, and some couldn’t even get up off the floor. One guy, I think it was the Bishop of Ottawa, was even trying to hold himself up with a Johnny pump [fire hydrant]. It was ridiculous.”

Incoherent

The disturbing scenes came after the Synod narrowly failed to vote in favor of allowing same-sex marriage, prompting a number of bishops to "lose it." According to one member of Synod:

"After the initial vote, a lot of people, especially bishops, seemed to lose it. People just kept showing up and then quickly dropping to the ground, flopping over, or crumpling onto the floor. They all seemed oblivious to their surroundings and just couldn't stay on their feet. It was obviously a bad batch of K2."

High on K2

K2 is a form of legal synthetic marijauna, which is known for its dangerous side-effects. After discovering that the Synod had in fact voted in favor of gay marriage rituals, affected members appeared to recover.

Loved Up

Reports that ACoC's bishops have resorted to a deadly mix of K2 and the illegal street drug Ecstasy are unverified.

LSP

Lives of the Saints

There's Alton Sterling:

9/09/96 – Aggravated battery

10/31/97 – 2nd degree battery

1/06/98 – Simple battery

5/04/00 – Public intimidation

9/20/00 – Carnal knowledge of a juvenile

9/04/01 – Domestic violence

5/24/05 – Burglary of an inhabited dwelling place

7/11/05 – Receiving stolen things

9/12/05 – Burglary of inhabited dwelling place

3/17/06 – Simple criminal damage to property, simple robbery, simple theft, drug possession, misrepresentation during booking, simple battery, aggravated battery

4/12/06 – Aggravated battery, simple criminal damage to property, disturbing the peace, unauthorized entry

4/04/08 – Domestic abuse battery

6/03/09 – Resisting an officer, drug possession, receiving stolen things, possession of stolen firearm, illegal carrying of a weapon with CDs, sound reproduct without consent

10/12/09 – Illegal carrying of weapon, marijuana possession

8/13/15 – Failure to register as a sex offender

4/08/16 – Failure to register as a sex offender

6/14/16 – Ecstacy and marijuana possession

The last time Alton resisted arrest, a stolen pistol fell out of his pocket. The next time he got shot. Then there's Philando Castile. Unlike Alton, Philando's rap sheet was mostly made up of petty traffic violations, but he was a suspect in an armed robbery.

Philando got shot when his vehicle was stopped and he appeared to reach for a gun on his lap. His passenger, Lavish Diamond Reynolds, cold-bloodedly filmed him bleeding to death. She stands to make a lot of money. So far Lavish and her friends have raised over $200,000 through Go-Fund-Me.

Philando's Gun

Here's a video of Philando with Lavish Diamond Reynolds and her 4 year daughter:

Make of this what you will.

LSP

Deep in The Heart of Texas

Well, deep in Texas, anyway, trying to break the summer Bass code. To help us in this, we launched an old V-Hull into the Big Pond, the objective being to get into the center of the lake and fish in deeper, colder waters.

At first all went well. The trolling motor worked, the wind was was at our backs and the going was easy. Shad, like miniature dolphins, schooled and leaped all around us. Good news, where the Shad leap, there bite the Bass. So goes fishing wisdom.

Then disaster struck. The battery wound down and the relentless current, driven by a fierce Texan wind, swept us to the far bank. Nothing for it but to row back, as opposed to actually fishing.

What was learned? There is a spot, in the middle of the pond, where there's a superabundance of Shad. Get there and fish appropriately and chances are you'll catch Leviathan Bass. Also, get a working battery and an anchor. Proper preparation prevents...

Then it was time to head back to the Compound, in the golden light of a setting sun. And there's nothing wrong with that, at all.

TEXIT,

LSP

Some Simple Rules

I hope you find this infovideo as helpful as we do, here at the Compound.

God bless,

LSP

The Way of The Axe

You can ride your unicorn over the rainbow as you listen to Give Peace a Chance, like a thieving two-bit hippy, or you can get down to business and get an axe, a hand axe, from one of the local pawns. I chose the latter option.

Note #4 -- Finish The Project, LSP

It was an old Stanley, lying there nonchalantly amidst cast off socket sets, broken hacksaws and rusty screwdrivers. Sure, the axe was beat up, but right away I knew it could be restored to fighting glory. A few minutes and a couple of bucks later, You take cash? Yessir, we do, the axe was back at the Compound.

Getting There

After Mass, I sanded it down with 100 grit paper, applied some cold blue and polished the beast up with gun oil and steel wool. It seemed appropriate to do that alongside a Lee Enfield project; wood and steel.

Good Result

So there it was, one axe back in business, and you never know, maybe this hatchet will come in handy in these dark and barbarous times. 

Dedicated Family Man?

In related news, you might like this, about the holy martyr, Philando Castile.

Your Pal,

LSP

Be Prepared

In the wake of Thursday's terror op in Dallas, some people are cautioning preparedness. What does that look like?

Maybe it looks a bit like a Glock 21. Others are saying that we need to "dream again," dream of a beautiful world with "beautiful people." What does that look like?

How Very Lovely

I'll leave you to decide which option is most effective. In the meanwhile, invest in extra magazines, they might come in handy.

Your Old Friend,

LSP

Ride On

As we rode out this afternoon in the searing Texan sun, I reflected on last night's terrorist sniper attack on Dallas LE. Who was to blame, The Man, in the form of Dallas PD's multiracial, underpaid police force? Whoa now, easy girl! Or something else.

Like blatant, brazen lawlessness at the top level of our governance being reflected on our streets. As go the rulers, so go the ruled, with bloody consequence. And for a fact, black race anger has been stoked by the current Administration. "Do not be discouraged," said Attorney General Loretta Lynch to the organization that fueled the Dallas terror attack. 

Would any of this have happened if Black Lives Matter didn't have the support of the state? I doubt it. Inside leg steady, bend the horse 'round the girth. Good girl, ride on.

So the Government's to blame, at least in part; they've encouraged the kind of racial conflict this country hasn't seen since the '60s. But let's go a little bit deeper under the saddle. Who are the people the ruling elite are encouraging, who was really behind Thursday night's cop killing operation. Surely it wasn't the radical revolutionary Left. Sit deep in the saddle, ignore the mad Arab's attempt at mutiny!

What are the RadLeft thinking? That a wave of cop killings across the country, and there's been one, will spark a revolution, which they'll win? Really? Think again, genius brigade. And remember this. 

Pretty much everything the Left does produces the exact opposite of its intended result. Remember womyn bishops? They were going to fill the pews. Hackamore.

Ride on,

LSP

Dallas Shooting

Terrorist gunmen killed 5 policemen last night in Downtown Dallas at a Black Lives Matter protest. Their motive was simple. According to one of the gunmen, "Kill all white people," especially police.

Please pray for those who were killed, for their families and for the police.

Oh almighty god, whose great power and wisdom 

embraces the universe,

Watch over all policeman everywhere. 

Protect them from harm in the performance

of their duty to stop crime,

robbery and violence.

We pray, you help them keep our streets and

home safe, day and night. We recommend them to your loving care 

because their duty is dangerous.

Give them strength and courage. Protect these brave men. 

Grant them your almighty protection. 

Unite them safely with their families

after duty has ended.

May the souls of those who were murdered last night rest in peace, and may those responsible for their deaths be brought swiftly to justice.

LSP

The Sun Sets on The Rule of Law

I'm no expert, but people say that the Law can be pretty opaque at times. For example, how do you work out the Law of Bass (LOB) on the Big Pond when the temperature climbs into triple digits? Team LSP's been putting some effort into that lately and we haven't cracked the Codex yet, but we will, it's not over yet. Then there's the FBI and Hillary. Here's what our East Coast Legal Expert (ECLE) has to say:

The aspect of this whole mess that really gets my goat is that every first year law student is taught about mens rea (intent) for criminal law and the difference in laws between crimes requiring a specific mens rea (intentional murder, rape), lower mens rea (manslaughter - only needs reckless actions) and those that don't (strict liability crimes (ex. statutory rape, speeding, etc.). The statute in this debacle specifically calls for a "gross negligence" standard in order for the statute to be broken. Her extreme carelessness definitely qualifies to meet this standard. Comey's assertion that she didn't have intent and therefore he wasn't recommending charges is completely at odds with the law. Again, any first year law student who was given this question on an exam and didn't prosecute would fail. This is Law 101. Either Comey was bought off or he didn't want to end up like Vince Foster. Or it's just one more nail in the legal/judicial coffin that we've experienced under Obama (Supreme Court decisions uphold Obamacare, gay marriage, etc.).

Thanks, ECLE, perhaps it's a case of all of that. 

Have we reached the point where a rich, corrupt, ruling elite are now operating without even basic regard for the laws everyone else has to follow and feel free to blatantly disregard them? It seems that we have.

Not dissimilar, when you think about it, to predatory Bass, would be tyrants of the Big Pond. 

Fish on,

LSP

Bye Bye, Republic

Via LL:

I think that Hillary Clinton would be well served by affiliating with James Comey in an even more official capacity by appointing him to serve as her attorney general or perhaps including him in her run for the White House as her choice for vice president. The pretense at a rule of law vanished and with it the capacity to rely on codified statutes as a guide to conduct. Now, laws change from day to day and hour to hour, so that whether you are punished or vindicated does not depend on what you do, but who you know, or how much you are able to pay.

I'd say that pretty much sums it up, and welcome to the Banana Republic.

Unleash the Monkeys!

LSP 

Too Big To Jail?

Apparently. Go on, peasants, revolt.

I dare you. And so does the monkey.

Odds on.

LSP