You're Fired, Finally

Do you remember bishop Stacy Sauls, the Episcopal Church's Chief Operating Officer? Sure you do. Sauls was placed on administrative leave along with Sam McDonald, Deputy Chief Operating Officer and Director of Mission, and Alex Baumgarten, Director of Public Engagement and Mission Communications.

Why? No one knew, "possible misconduct," pending an investigation. 

Sauls

Baumgarten and McDonald were fired this week for violating "workplace policies." Stacy was axed too, even though the investigation found him innocent of misconduct.

Popular Anglican news service, VirtueOnline, asked the Episcopal Church's Public Affairs Officer whether the misconduct was sexually related. Neva Ray Fox neither confirmed nor denied the question.

What can I say? Better call Saul.

LSP

Range Warriors

"People don't need to be afraid of a citizen's militia," said LL as he idly swung a razor sharp tomahawk at the head of a passing snake, "No, not unless they're a pajama boy, living in their parent's Upper West Side apartment, wearing a onesie and whining about microaggression."

Deadly Assault Carbine and a Truck

"And most people aren't like that," I replied, in between fusillades of 5.56 at an unsuspecting piece of steel some 100 yards away, "Especially in Texas." LL agreed, "Not in Texas." Small cal semi training over, we moved on to the next evolution. Riot control.

Get That Riot Under Control!

The riot control component of the day's course was simple. Two shooters take a Glock 21 each and suppress a riot from close range, 25-30 yards, the riot being an old metal kettle and accurate speed shooting being the method. 13 rounds, fast, on the riot kettle.

A Typical Wheel Gun

Go! Off went the Glocks and down went the kettle mutiny in a blaze of .45 ACP. OK, the .45 isn't the mighty .460 Magnum, which can take out a grizzly bear, and it's not the awesome .357 Magnum, which has the raw power to shoot through an engine block. But still, it gets the job done and done well.

Python Power

A good day was had by all, and rumors of celebratory ribeye steaks are entirely with foundation.

Shoot straight,

LSP

Wheel Guns at the Range

Grilled hamburgers make you a better shot, especially with magnum wheel guns. At least that's the theory, but is it true? We took LL's Smith & Wesson .460 Magnum and Colt Python .357 Magnum to the range to find out.

It seemed to make sense to start with the mighty .460, that fires a bullet with the kind of kenetic explosive power you'd expect from a freight train roaring out of a tunnel. Mighty ballistics hi-power. After that, the Colt Python seemed a gentle gun, firing a round that was only designed to go through engine blocks. 

LL Considers The Range

But was our marksmanship improved by last night's burgers? Yes, it was. A green silhouette was taking rounds in the X Ring and before long LL suggested we move on to shooting hotel key cards. "As a training exercise," he said.

Key Cards Down

Well, you can't train too much and LL made short work of the key card opposition, proving that deadly accuracy is achievable with the significant .357 Magnum. Then it was my turn and I started shooting just low right of the "Elite" card. "Calm down, breathe," said my maritime ally, and I did. Key card down. They took a beating.

Python

So did a kettle, a steel turkey and a couple of plates, but that's a different story. Still, what's the verdict?

Big wheel guns are powerful medicine and, if you want to improve your magnum skills, be sure to grill up some burgers the night before. Thanks, LL, for the revolver opportunity. 

Gun Rights,

LSP

LL Comes to Texas

Like a lot of Californians, LL's come to Texas, and decided to visit the Compound. So I fired up the grill and made burgers.

Now, I'm not saying that a Colt Python makes for a better hamburger, or that a stainless Smith & Wesson .460 Magnum adds to the flavor, but I'm not saying they don't, either. But do grilled burgers make you a better shot?

We're off to the range with these wheel guns to test the theory and find out.

More on this exciting story as it develops.

LSP

Minimum Wage?

ZeroHedge takes a dim view of raising the minimum wage to $15 and thinks it'll make everyone poorer by causing unemployment and inflation. Socialists think it'll make more people richer by giving the poor a bigger slice of the fiscal pie. What do I think, you ask with bated breath.

That people should be paid a just wage in return for their work, especially the clergy. But why stop with a minimum wage and a progressive income tax. Why not empower the dictatorship of the proletariat Government, which is your Friend, to give everyone the same amount of money? That'd be fair, right? 

Obey Felix Dzerzhinsky

Come to think of it, why not abolish private property and build some reeducation camps for the kulaks, you know, all the ones you haven't shot yet.

And before you come up with the tired old lame excuse that there isn't enough money, remember, the State can print as much of that as it likes.

Cheers,

LSP

Massive Dust Devil Spotted on Mars

Lucky NASA boffins have captured an image of a massive dust devil on Mars, much larger than it is on earth.

The photo of the enormous whirling dust storm was caught by NASA's Opportunity rover as it trundled across the red planet's Meridiani Planum, and it left scientists excited.

Dust Devil

"This is one of the best dust devils that we have seen in Meridiani Planum," said lead investigator Ray Arvidson, "We are lucky to have captured this one in an image!"

Dust Devils form when hot air connects with wind sheer, producing a swirling mass of airborne grit, sand and dust.

Aerial View of a Dust Devil

The Anglican Consultative Council was unavailable for comment.

LSP

Annunciation

It's the Feast of the Annunciation, so here's a prayer:

WE beseech thee, O Lord, pour thy grace into our hearts; that, as we have known the incarnation of thy Son Jesus Christ by the message of an angel, so by his cross and passion we may be brought unto the glory of his resurrection; through the same Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

God bless,

LSP

Cooking, Yet Again, With LSP

Glock & Salmon

What, you cook with LSP? That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard! You say incredulously. But it's true, a lot of cooking goes on at the Compound because the Team's got to eat and they want to improve their marksmanship. That's where quail and venison come in.

Everyone knows that quail and venison make you a better shot, it's settled science, but how do you cook these two aids to ballistic excellence? It's not hard.

Quail & Sig

Make yourself a Glock and Salmon starter, then get some quail that you or one of your pals has shot. Salt and pepper the diminutive birds, fill their cavity with a lemon wedge, then wrap them in bacon. Put the finished result on a baking tray and preheat your oven to 500*. That's right, get that oven hot.

Quail

As you master this tricky task, skin some potatoes and carrots, put them in pots of water and boil them. It's easy, when you know how. Veg on, wait for a while, there's no rush, then put some spicy venison sausage into an iron skillet and apply heat. 

Oven Ready

About 30 minutes from the time you put the veg on, put the quail in the oven for 12 or 13 minutes, no longer. Take the birds out, cover them with foil and let them rest; they're just fine, don't mess with them. As they're finishing off, mash the potatoes, remove the sausage from the skillet and make some gravy in it. I like chopped garlic, white wine, chicken stock and flour. That's one way to do it.

A Knife And Some Garlic

Simmer the gravy and enjoy the aroma, reflect upon the perfidy of Shillary and the GOP establishment, whatever, play some Motorhead; if needs be, reheat the veg. Then put it all together. Two birds a person, extra bacon on the side, sausage, veg and gravy.

Then eat your scoff like a hero and congratulate yourself on a job well done. You'll shoot better the next day, it's been proven, settled science. And that's cooking.

With,

LSP

Oculus Rift

This is what you think you see.

Mantoid

This is the reality.

Drones in the Hive

Take. The. Goggles. Off.

God bless,

LSP

Catch The Fish

About time, LSP! And to be fair to you, yes, it was. Fishing, for me lately, has been more of a matter of casting away into the watery depths and losing lures on snags than actually catching anything. But that changed today.

There we were, just me, Blue Texas Rig and a lake, not too far from Maypearl, in Ellis County. Off I cast with a green worm, thinking "you can't lose with chartreuse" and sure enough, within a few minutes of slow retrieve, there was a strike. The rod bent double and the line played out, big excitement. Fish on. 

We fought, the fish and I, and the fish won, but at least something was biting. Sure enough, 10 minutes later the same scene played out and up thrashed a mighty Leviathan, lured by the enticing qualities of a sparkly green plastic worm.

The dog was fascinated and so was I. Go fishing and actually catch a fish. Remarkable. I put the monster of the deep back in the lake; who knows, maybe it'll gain a few pounds and fight again another day.

Fish on,

LSP

Glasgow PD Goes Full Rainbow Nazi

Nothing quite like a knock on the door at 4 am, is there, and let's hope your family doesn't mind paying for the bullet. But maybe that won't be necessary, there's plenty of room in Scotland for gulags. You know, for all those people who post unkind thoughts on the internet.

Obey Your Rulers!

Glasgow PD, you win the NWO Illuminati drivel prize for safe space, cry baby, dropped-on-head-as-infant, rainbow unicorn fascism. You are now scorned.

And that's kind,

LSP

Behold Your Rulers

Look at our rulers. They're responsible for our security, the preservation of liberty and the common good.

Dumbass

Here's the most powerful one. Inspiring, isn't he.

No Comment

And here's Trudeau's boy. He'll make sure Canada's safe from attack.

Now You're Safe

But what about Great Britain? The Free World is safe for gay marriage with Dave!

Nice One, Shillary

Maybe the next Nuclear Security Summit will be hosted by the famous NWO Illuminati Powershill, Hillary Clinton. What can we say, the genius of Yoko?

Kick out the JAMS.

LSP