Smoke & Mirrors & Burgers

Here at Dallas HQ we have smoke.

And mirrors.

And hamburgers. It's not hard, make up some 80/20 patties, apply salt and pepper, and place on a hot, oiled grill. The meat should sizzle when it hits that grill. Yes, there is a rule.

Perhaps you drink a cold one as you watch heat work its magic on these burgers in potentia, well done, you've deserved it. But only gaze at the open grill for a minute as the meat sears, then cover and cook for two minutes. 

random grill shot

Inhale the magic aroma of burgers doing their thing on a charcoal grill. And then, two minutes over, remove the lid of the grill, admire your beautiful medium rare burgers, place 'em on a tray to rest, covered, and toast some buns.

That done, put it all together and fall upon your scoff, like a warrior.

Cheers,

LSP

Branded Burger

Do you go out for dinner? I don't, hardly ever, but tonight a kind churchman invited, "We'll be in town this evening where we can do our business. Why not join us for dinner afterwards?" What, dinner in the NCTEZ (North Central Texas Exclusion Zone)? Terrifying prospect, but it can be done, at Branded Burger.

Branded Burger is a family owned Midlothian restaurant which has expanded into a few neighboring towns and their slogan is, "Where The Locals Eat." Their signature is a burger in a bun which has been branded with their... brand and stabbed through with a black plastic knife.

As in, take that, burger, I forgot my Benchmade or Opinel, so here's this plastic knife statement. Marketing aside, the Branded Burger is pretty dam good, coming in seared and quick at around 7 bucks. The patty? Close to an inch thick and properly medium rare. Yes, this is a good burger and I devoured mine like a hungry wolf.

Verdict: If you're lucky enough to travel through our storied lands, stop at Branded Burger, they're alright.

Boodles Forever,

LSP

You Miserable Offender

 

Look at this miserable offender. Yes, a burned out front indicator bulb, Sylvania #3157A, which gave up the ghost on the way to Made-in-China-Mart, right as the heavens released a relentless barrage of rain.

Park up, test the turning signal, listen to its ADHT fast click, watch the rain pound down, look up the part on your handheld computing device, and then wade through the flood to the store. Find a replacement bulb, look at empty ammo shelves - who knows, maybe they'll magically fill up if you stare hard enough - and head over to groceries for supplies. After all, a man's gotta eat.

That in mind, it's a very good thing that "man does not live by bread alone" because the price of food's skyrocketed, especially steak. It's around 30% more expensive than it was a year ago; just imagine the price if there was any inflation. Well done, prog-left, corp-sponsored oligarchy, everything's more affordable now because it's way more expensive. Awesome work, Socialists.

Back at the Compound, the downpour slowed to a gentle rain and then stopped, so I took advantage of the lull to swap out the busted bulb. It's not hard on an '08 F150. Pop the hood, reach behind the headlight housing, turn the bulb fixture counterclockwise, pull it out, replace the bulb and return the thing to its rightful place. If the recalcitrant anarchist mutinies, pull the headlight unit and teach the beast who's boss, which I ended up doing, annoyingly.

One working front turn signal light later, it seems only right to celebrate this small but important victory with hamburgers. Steak would be better, but that's too pricey. Thanks a lot, commies.

Cheers,

LSP

Charge

Here at the Compound we hope you enjoy this infographic as much as we do. Did the dog enjoy his daring raid on the burger patties? Yes, that goes without saying, and we didn't scorn the result of the grill either.

Perfect Manassas burgers, seared on the outside, medium rare in the midst. Life-giving, and that's putting it mildly.

Charge,

LSP

LL Comes to Texas

Like a lot of Californians, LL's come to Texas, and decided to visit the Compound. So I fired up the grill and made burgers.

Now, I'm not saying that a Colt Python makes for a better hamburger, or that a stainless Smith & Wesson .460 Magnum adds to the flavor, but I'm not saying they don't, either. But do grilled burgers make you a better shot?

We're off to the range with these wheel guns to test the theory and find out.

More on this exciting story as it develops.

LSP

Church BBQ

We had a church BBQ today at a member's lake house, so I called up and asked if I should bring anything. Our conversation went like this.

"Hey, should I bring anything, apart from The Weather?"

"Yeah, you really messed up on that score. Thanks for the rain."

"Don't blame me, blame Obama, he's our Commander-in-Chief. Maybe I should bring a gun."

"We have plenty of those already, bring some tea."

So that's what I did.

A good time was had by all, despite recent setbacks in the War on Weather.

Sail away,

LSP

Boot and Spur

When we walked into the Pitt Stop yesterday to get hamburgers, one of the riders was wearing spurs. An old timer looked up from his booth and said, "Spurs?" and my friend said, "Well you can't be a cowboy without spurs, can you now."

The old timer thought for a bit and kind of beamed back, "I haven't worn a pair of those in years!"

I hardly ever ride with them and maybe that's a mistake, but here's some basic spur wisdom from HorseChannel.com:

Spurs are no substitute for good riding skills. By no means will they help make you a better rider.

“You have to know how to ride a horse correctly before you put spurs on,” says Sherryl Crawford of Lipan, Texas, who grew up running cans, trains her own barrel horses and also team ropes. “If you don’t really know what you are doing as far as riding or training a horse, and you’re also spurring him, you’re just going to end up with a big problem that you can’t fix.”

“Spurs are a good tool if you use them correctly; they’re not for looks, and they’re not to be used as a weapon,” says Earnest Wilson of Tolar, Texas, who is a well-respected Paint Horse trainer with 46 years in the business...

Spurs should be applied with steady pressure—pressing the spur into the horse’s side, not poking him. You can increase the pressure as necessary, but if you poke or jab the horse he’s going to lurch or jump. Then you risk grabbing with your legs to hang on, and grabbing his mouth, too. That will simply scare your horse. 

Ride on,

LSP