Rain - A Sunday Sermon

 

How it Started - Simple Demonic Narcissist

It's raining here in Central Texas, which I find tremendously exciting, unlike Madonna. Speaking of which, a pal once told me, "I was at this party in New York and there was Madonna, so I went up to her and said, 'Hi, I'm Alison, what's your name?'" Whereupon the super genius, multimillionaire limo lib turned 'round and hissed, like a rich snake demon, "I'm Madonna, MADONNA!" Make of that what you will.

How it's Going

In other news, it continues to rain and smart Texans are going long boats, understanding that our part of this great once constitutional republic will soon become a vast inland sea. River taxis, anyone? Riverine aside, you may have noticed someone called Bambie Thug, from London/Ireland, won a non-binary award at Eurovision.

I know, we think Eurovision and think Abba or something equally Euro, but the thing's moved on and's now inhabited by demonic satanists, like Bambie Thug. Here she is:

Well look at this, Bambie Thug Demon Witch

Switzerland's entry also featured a demoniac. Have a look at They/Them:

What a Pretty Frock. Keen-Eyed Readers Will Remember "For We Are Legion"

Smart people are asking the exorcist community to have at it and we agree, but word to the wise, use Latin. The devil hates and fears that, not unlike an English schoolboy, and exorcists tell me it works, quite unlike the Vat II vernacular rubbish pablum.

That in mind, do we need a cultural exorcism, on a big scale? I'd argue yes, because we're clearly afflicted, at the macro level, by demons. You'll remember Legion's pronouns were *they/them and that Baphomet's famously trans.

 Hope you enjoyed this short homily and here's the application:

It's all a larf 'til you wake up and a demon's gnawing on your buddy's inner thigh.

Out Demons Out,

LSP

Holy Water

 

The Devil runs from Holy Water, seriously, I have that on good, established authority. And no wonder, Holy Water is a sacramental made up of exorcised elements, salt and water, with the express purpose of putting demons to flight, and it does.

Here's the prayer of benediction in English, from the Roman Ritual:

P: Our help is in the name of the Lord.     All: Who made heaven and earth.

2. The exorcism of salt follows: 

God's creature, salt, I cast out the demon from you by the living  God, by the true  God, by the holy  God, by God who ordered you to be thrown into the water-spring by Eliseus to heal it of its barrenness. May you be a purified salt, a means of health for those who believe, a medicine for body and soul for all who make use of you. May all evil fancies of the foul fiend, his malice and cunning, be driven afar from the place where you are sprinkled. And let every unclean spirit be repulsed by Him who is coming to judge both the living and the dead and the world by fire.   All: Amen.

Let us pray.

Almighty everlasting God, we humbly appeal to your mercy and goodness to graciously bless  this creature, salt, which you have given for mankind's use. May all who use it find in it a remedy for body and mind. And may everything that it touches or sprinkles be freed from uncleanness and any influence of the evil spirit; through Christ our Lord.

All: Amen.

Exorcism of the water:

God's creature, water, I cast out the demon from you in the name of God  the Father almighty, in the name of Jesus  Christ, His Son, our Lord, and in the power of the Holy  Spirit. May you be a purified water, empowered to drive afar all power of the enemy, in fact, to root out and banish the enemy himself, along with his fallen angels. We ask this through the power of our Lord Jesus Christ,who is coming to judge both the living and the dead and the world by fire.    All: Amen.

Let us pray.

O God, who for man's welfare established the most wonderful mysteries in the substance of water, hearken to our prayer, and pour forth your blessing  on this element now being prepared with various purifying rites. May this creature of yours, used in your mysteries and endowed with your grace, serve to cast out demons and to banish disease. May everything that this water sprinkles in the homes and gatherings of the faithful be delivered from all that is unclean and hurtful; let no breath of contagion hover there, no taint of corruption; let all the wiles of the lurking enemy come to nothing. By the sprinkling of this water may everything opposed to the safety and peace of the occupants of these homes be banished, so that in calling on your holy name they may know the well-being they desire, and be protected from every peril; through Christ our Lord.    All: Amen.

3. Now the priest pours the salt into the water in the form of a cross, saying:

May this salt and water be mixed together; in the name of the Father , and of the Son , and of the Holy Spirit.     All: Amen.

P: The Lord be with you. All: And with thy spirit.

Let us pray.

God, source of irresistible might and king of an invincible realm, the ever-glorious conqueror; who restrains the force of the adversary, silencing the uproar of his rage, and valiantly subduing his wickedness; in awe and humility we beg you, O Lord, to regard with favor  this creaturely thing of salt and water, to let the light of your kindness shine upon it, and to hallow it with the dew of your mercy; so that  wherever it is sprinkled and your holy name invoked, every assault of the unclean spirit may be baffled, and all dread of the serpent's venom be cast out. To us who entreat your mercy grant that the Holy Spirit may be with us wherever we may be, through Christ our Lord.  All: Amen.

And in the more powerful Latin:

V. Adjutorium nostrum in nomine Domini.  R. Qui fecit cælum et terram.

Deinde absolute incipit exorcismum salis:

Exorcizo te, creatura salis, per Deum + vivum, per Deum + verum, per Deum + sanctum, per Deum, qui te per Eliseum Prophetam in aquam mitti jussit, ut sanaretur sterilitas aquæ: ut efficiaris sal exorcizatum in salutem credentium; et sis omnibus sumentibus te sanitas animæ et corporis; et effigiat, atque discedat a loco, in quo aspersum fueris, omnis phantasia, et nequitia, vel versutia diabolicæ fraudis, omnisque spiritus immundus, adjuratus per eum, qui venturus est judicare vivos et mortuos, et sæculum per ignem. R. Amen.

Oremus.

Oratio

Immensam clementiam tuam, omnipoten æterne Deus, humiliter imploramus, ut hanc creaturam salis, quam in usum generis humani tribuisti, bene + dicere et sancti +ficare tua pietate digneris: ut sit omnibus sumentibus salus mentis et corporis; et quidquid ex eo tactum vel respersum fuerit, careat omni immunditia, omnique impugnatione spiritalis nequitiæ. Per Dominum. R. Amen.

Exorcismus aquæ: et dicitur absolute:

Exorcizo te, creatura aquæ, in nomine Dei + Patris omnipotentis, et in nomine Jesu + Christi Filii ejus Domini nostri, et in virtute Spiritus + Sancti: ut fias aqua exorcizata ad effugandam omnem potestatem inimici, et ipsum inimicum eradicare et explantare valeas cum angelis suis apostaticis, per virtutem ajusdem Domini nostri Jesu Christi: qui venturus est judicare vivos et mortuos, et sæculum per ignem. R. Amen.

Oremus.

Oratio

Deus, qui ad salutem humani generis, maxima quæque sacramenta in aquarum substantia condidisti: adesto propitius invocationibus nostris, et elemento huic multìmodis purificationibus præparato, virtutem tuæ bene + dictionis infunde: ut creatura tua, mysteriis tuis serviens, ad abigendos dæmones, morbosque pellendos, divinæ gratiæ sumat effectum; ut quidquid in domibus, vel in locis fidelium, hæc unda resperserit, careat omni immunditia, liberetur a noxa: non illic resideat spiritus pestilens, non aura corrumpens: discedant omnes insidiæ latentis inimici; et si quid est, quod aut incolumitati habitantium invidet, aut quieti, aspersione hujus aquæ effugiat: ut salubritas, per invocationem sancti tui nominis expetita, ab omnibus sit impugnationibus defensa. Per Dominum nostrum Jesum Christum Filium tuum: Qui tecum vivit et regnat in unitate Spiritus Sancti Deus per omnia sæcula sæculorum. R. Amen.

Hic termittat sal in aquam in modum crucis, dicendo semel:

Commixtio salis et aquæ pariter fiat, in nomine Pa+tris, et Fi+lii, et Spiritus + Sancti. R. Amen.

V. Dominus vobiscum. R. Et cum spiritu tuo.

Oremus.

Oratio

Deus, invictæ virtutis auctor, et insuperabilis imperii Rex, ac semper magnificus triumphator: qui adversæ dominationis vires reprimis: qui inimici rugientis sævitiam superas: qui hostiles nequitias potenter expugnas: te, Domine, trementes et supplices deprecamur, ac petimus: ut hanc creaturam salis et aquæ dignanter aspicias, benignus illustres, pietatis tuæ rore sanctifices; ut, ubicumque fuerit aspersa, per invocationem sancti nominis tui, omnis infestatio immundi spiritus abigatur: terrorque venenosi serpentis procul pellatur: et præsentia Santi Spiritus nobis, misericordiam tuam poscentibus, ubique adesse dignetur. Per Dominum nostrum Jesum Christum Filium tuum: Qui tecum vivit et regnat in unitate ejusdem Spiritus Sancti Deus per omnia sæcula sæculorum. R. Amen.

Exorcists tell me the latter form works best, which implies Satan, like an English schoolboy, abhors Latin. All the more reason to use it, eh? That in mind, I'm off to bless some water by way doing my part, however small, in the war against evil. 

Speaking of which, watch Nefarious, a realistic cinematic portrayal of the  Adversary, if a little preachy.

Out Demons Out,

LSP

A Sunday Hypothetical

 

Here's a Sunday hypothetical for all you gentlemen and gentlewomen to reflect upon in the vesper light. Imagine a person comes up to you and announces they've left denomination X because of its ludicrous and risible slide into rainbow malfeasance.

"Good," you reply, "come to us, we're not about about the rainbow." They nod and ask, "But I'm a Democrat, is that OK?" You answer, "You do know, don't you, that the Democrat party is 100% rainbow and abortion?" Their eyes go out of focus and look into the distance, they typically change the subject. So what's going on?

Clearly their minds are bifurcated, one half Democrat, the other half Christian, and when the two systems collide their synapses shut down and the poor conflicted person goes into a kind of mental stasis. But what does this mean? I called Canada for expert advice.

"The problem is spiritual, LSP, they're partially possessed by some demon, they have a satanic mind block. You need to say a prayer of exorcism over them." 

Good call, perhaps the Archangelic prayer, here it is:

Sancte Michael Archangele, defende nos in proelio, contra nequitiam et insidias diaboli esto praesidium. Imperet illi Deus, supplices deprecamur: tuque, Princeps militiae caelestis, in virtute Dei, in infernum detrude satanam aliosque spiritus malignos, qui ad perditionem animarum pervagantur in mundo. Amen.

Remember, the Devil, like an English schoolboy, hates Latin.

Out Demons Out,

LSP

St. Benedict

 

It's the Feast of St. Benedict today, the founder of Western monasticism and, some would say, one of the saviors of the West itself. He died in 480 AD at the monastery of Monte Casino, the same place used as a stronghold by Nazis in WWII and subsequently destroyed at great cost.

This prayer's attributed to him, it's a form of exorcism:

Crux Sacra Sit Mihi Lux

Non Draco Sit Mihi Dux

Vade retro Satana

Nunquam suade mihi vana

Sunt mala quae libas.

Ipse venena bibas

Here's the initials, found on the medal itself, as an aide memoire: C S S M L – N D S M D, V R S N S M V – S M Q L I V B.

This prayer has great power. Use it.

St. Benedict, pray for us,

LSP

Spiritual War

 

If it wasn't already obvious it should be now, we're in a spiritual war of light v. dark, good v. evil, God v. satan. A combat in which wickedness in high places seeks our ruin. So with humility entreat the heavenly host and its Archangelic Prince:

Saint Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle, be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil. May God rebuke him, we humbly pray; and do thou, O prince of the heavenly host, by the power of God, thrust into hell satan and all the evil spirits who prowl about the world seeking the ruin of souls. Amen.

And because the prowling beast hates Latin:

Sancte Michael Archangele, defende nos in proelio, contra nequitiam et insidias diaboli esto praesidium. Imperet illi Deus, supplices deprecamur: tuque, Princeps militiae caelestis, in virtute Dei, in infernum detrude satanam aliosque spiritus malignos, qui ad perditionem animarum pervagantur in mundo. Amen.

This too is helpful:

Crux sacra sit mihi lux

Non draco sit mihi dux

Vade retro satana

Numquam suade mihi vana

Sunt mala quae libas

Ipse venena bibas

Yes indeed. Vade retro satana, get thee behind me satan, drink your own poison, ipse venena bibas.

Defende nos,

LSP

Vade Retro Satana

 

Inspired by WSF and on the eve of a New Year, I offer this, from the St. Benedict medal, whose initials signify:

CRUX SACRA SIT MIHI LUX! 

NUNQUAM DRACO SIT MIHI DUX!

VADE RETRO SATANA!

NUNQUAM SUADE MIHI VANA!

SUNT MALA QUAE LIBAS. 

IPSE VENENA BIBAS!

And roughly translated:

The holy Cross shall be my light!

The Dragon shall never be my leader!

Get behind me Satan!

Never tempt me with vain conceit!

What you offer is evil.

Drink your own poison!

There's great power in the Latin verse, which is more than verse, an exorcism. We're in need of that, right about now.

Vade Retro,

LSP

Vade Retro Satana

We're in a spiritual war, a combat between good and evil, light v. dark, God versus the Devil. So arm yourself for the fight but remember, you're facing demons. This is useful, from St. Benedict:

Crux sacra sit mihi lux 

Nunquam draco sit mihi dux 

Vade retro Satana 

Nunquam suade mihi vana 

Sunt mala quae libas. 

Ipse venena bibas.

Meaning (my translation):

The holy Cross shall be my light 

The dragon shall never lead me 

Get thee behind me Satan! 

Never tempt me to vanity 

You offer wickedness 

Drink your own poison.

Of course the Latin is better. Use it, a minor exorcism, but be prepared to draw fire down upon your position if and when you do. I don't say that lightly.

We fight against principalities and powers,

C S S M L - N D S M D,

LSP

The Pancakes

Terrifying, isn't it. That's right, the prospect of not one but two pancake suppers and such is life, here in the syrup marathon that is Shrove Tuesday Lspland.  A kind of Pre-Lenten penance if you like, but to be honest I always enjoy myself.

They're a good crew at the Missions and this year was fun, with everyone getting together to blast away at pancakes, bacon and sausage. Of course it'd mean something beyond an opportunity for church scoff if people actually fasted during Lent or at all, ever. But hardly anyone does.

Big mistake, not least because Christ himself recommends it by example and instruction, certain demons can only be cast out by prayer and fasting.

And Jesus rebuked the devil; and he departed out of him: and the child was cured from that very hour.

Then came the disciples to Jesus apart, and said, Why could not we cast him out? And Jesus said unto them, Because of your unbelief... Howbeit this kind goeth not out but by prayer and fasting. (Matt.17: 18-21)

Speaking of demons, one of them didn't get elected in 2016 and it's been howling, shrieking and gnashing its teeth ever since.

God bless,

LSP

Michelle Mondays!

Here at Melania Mondays! we've been accused of being partisan, unfair, of only covering stories about America's beautiful, popular, glamorous and intelligent First Lady. But what about Michelle, even Vogue couldn't make her look good. 

We want to change that and thanks to a heady dose of owl magic, we're delighted to announce a new fragrance.

Michelle, eau de parfum isn't just a scent, it's a multi-spectrum solution, from weed killer to rat poison to stench bomb. And let's not forget the spiritual aspect.

In liquid or solid state incense form, Michelle Musk is a guaranteed draw to evil spirits, like a Draw Mo contest but for demons instead of Jihadis. Fine difference but you get the point. Crack open the Musk and... there's a demon.

Just make sure you've got an exorcist on hand, a real one who uses Latin, which Satan fears.

Cheers,

LSP

St. Michael The Archangel Defend Us

It's the Feast of St. Michael and All Angels today and we make a special point of asking for archangelic protection. This prayer was customarily recited after Low Mass until the liturgical reforms of Vatican II and many use it today:

Saint Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle, be our protection against the malice and snares of the devil. May God rebuke him we humbly pray; and do thou, O Prince of the Heavenly host, by the power of God, thrust into hell Satan and all evil spirits who wander through the world for the ruin of souls. Amen.

Powerful stuff and attributed to Leo XIII, who had seen a terrifying vision of demons being allowed out of the Pit to afflict the Church. He went on to include a version of the prayer in the Roman Ritual, for use in exorcism. It's long, so here's an excerpt.

Oh, pray to the God of peace that He may put Satan under our feet, so far conquered that he may no longer be able to hold men in captivity and harm the Church. Offer our prayers in the sight of the Most High, so that they may quickly conciliate the mercies of the Lord; and beating down the dragon, the ancient serpent, who is the devil and Satan, do thou again make him captive in the abyss, that he may no longer seduce the nations. Amen.

Of course Leo wasn't happy about the papacy's loss of temporal sovereignty and the Quirinale Palace. But he was surely prescient in discerning the spiritual roots of the gathering attack on the Church, a spiritual opposition that, these days, hardly even bothers to hide its face.

Out, demons, out.

LSP

Fiend From The Pit

It's common knowledge that exorcisms are on the rise and no wonder, what with the popularity of satanism and associated occultist skulduggery. How many of our ruling elite, like the Podestas, are involved? Some? Many?

Whatever the case, I thought I'd have to cast out an evil spirit at 6.30 am this morning, when Blue Malefactor began to bark like a fiend from the Pit. I wasn't too happy about that.

It rained later, just in time for the trip down I35 to the country compound. Great sheets of water fell from the sky, turning the highway into a kind of storm tossed canal for cars. Then, somewhere near Waxahachie, the rain stopped and the sun broke through the clouds. Beautiful.

They say that if you collect water in cisterns during the rainy part of the year, in Texas, you'll have water for the entire year. I could believe that, given the ferocity of the rain when it does fall and, given the stability of civilization, maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea to invest in a secure water supply.

Prep On,

LSP

Culture of the Damned

A friend asked me the other day if I believed in the Devil and I replied that I did. "Good," they answered, "Then maybe I'm not crazy, because things sure look satanic." 

Maybe you think that's an exaggeration and that there's nothing wrong with our new normal, a normal that says it's OK to sell baby parts and rewards the company that does it with your money. 

A normal that parses freedom in terms of Crowley's "do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law," and accuses you of hatred for daring to believe that marriage is something that takes place between a man and a woman, regardless of Bruce Jenner spending over $4 million to prove otherwise.

Or more seriously, a dominant worldview which says we come from nothing and return to it, so in the meanwhile live as though there were no tomorrow and place your bets on a financial system based on infinite debt and greed.

In short, a new normal based on the kind of radical nihilism described by Dostoevsky in The Devils. But go right ahead, look around you and congratulate our brave new world experiment in secularism, and wonder why people aren't getting any happier.

Then, as you ask that question, ask another. Has our culture stopped believing in God, or simply shifted its allegiance?

There's a boom in exorcism. Go figure. I'm off to clean a gun.

LSP

The Awesome Beauty of Liturgical Dance

One of the things we like, here at the Compound, is Liturgical Dance. And while we're at it, why not accompany the Dance with a patriarchy-busting version of the Lord's Prayer. Like this one:

O Divine Womb,
birthing forth the river of blessing which runs through all,
Soften the ground of our being,
and hallow in us a space for the planting of thy presence.

In our depths,
sow thy seed with its greening-power
that we might be midwives to thy Reign.

Then, let each of our actions
bear fruit in accordance with thy desire.

Impart to us the wisdom to bring forth the gifts of the earth
and share them daily according to the needs of each being,

And restore that which has been usurped
by injustice to its rightful owners,
as we restore to others that which is not our own.

Do not let us be seduced
by that which would divert us from our purpose,
but make us sensitive to the moment at hand.

For from thy fertile soil is born the creativity,
the life-energy, and the dance,
from birthing to birthing. Ameyn.

How very, very beautiful. And awesome.

Ameyn.

LSP

Madonna, Hermetic Sorceress?

Famous pop icon and low-level Illuminati witch, Madonna, has thrown her pointed hat into the ring against Dolce & Gabbana, after the fashion duo spoke out against gays having IVF children.

Here at Team LSP, we have to ask: Who would be so irresponsible as to lend Madonna a child, and secondly, since when did the Queen of Pop become an "as above, so below" authority on Hermes Trismegistus?

As noted previously, the Vatican is wisely commissioning more Exorcists; here's what Kipling has to say.

Oh the road to En-dor is the oldest road

And the craziest road of all!

Straight it runs to the Witch’s abode,

As it did in the days of Saul,

And nothing has changed of the sorrow in store

For such as go down on the road to En-dor!

God bless,

LSP

Happy Epiphany

A blessed Feast of the Epiphany to all; I like this, from the Old Rite (translation by Rorate Caeli):

Accept, O holy Father, from me, thine unworthy servant, these gifts which I offer in humility to the honour of thy holy name and to thy peerless majesty; as thou didst accept the sacrifice of the just Abel and the same gifts from the hands of the Magi.

Creatures of gold, incense, and myrrh, I exorcise you by the Father + almighty, by Jesus + Christ, His Only-Begotten Son, and by the Holy+ Spirit, the Paraclete, that freed from all deceit, evil, and cunning of the devil, you may be a saving remedy to men against the snares of the enemy. May trustful souls who use you in their homes or about their persons be delivered from danger to soul and body, rejoicing in the possession of every good; through our Lord and Saviour's power and merits, through the intercession of Mary, most holy Virgin Mother of God, of all Saints and of them who on this day venerated Christ, the Lord with similar gifts. R. Amen.

O God, thou the invisible and unending One, in the holy and awesome name of thy Son graciously bestow blessing + and power upon these creatures, gold, incense, and myrrh. Protect them who will have them in their possession from illness, injury, and danger to body and soul, so they can joyously and securely serve thee with zeal in thy Church. Who in perfect Trinity livest and reignest, God, for ever and ever. R Amen.

God bless,

LSP

PS. Check out the All Seeing Eye's comments on 'climate refugees', an, er, epiphany - for me, anyway.