Cooking With LSP

 

Wow, you're gonna do that, cook with LSP? Good luck, brother. So they say, but it's not hard. Get out in the field, shoot some dove, clean the birds and let the diminutive breasts rest in brine overnight. Easy.

Next step? Buy some jalapeno peppers, they're cheap, slice 'em in half and scoop out the seeds with a spoon or something, just don't wipe your eyes, obviously. Then fill the hollow pepper halves with cream cheese. Behold the evolution, well done, you've got this far.

The next bit's intuitive. Fillet the meat off the doves and place it on the cream cheese filled peppers, then wrap those bad boys in bacon. Yes, bacon. Secure the little rascals with toothpicks then put them in the oven at around 400, maybe 425's better, your call, there's no "rule."

Then lo and behold, 20 minutes later, delicious poppers. Stand back in amazement and fall upon your scoff.

Like a Warrior,

LSP

Just Get Out In The Field

 

"For an LSP you sure don't get out in the field very much," the people murmur, discontentedly. And they have a point, so to put things right I RV'd with some church ranch people and off we went against the avian adversary, dove, splitting into two groups.

Our section had a good setup. Imagine a dead tree by a stock tank and then, maybe 150 yards off, another dead tree pretty much opposite the first. And there it is, mojo decoys at the tank, clipons at the further tree, wait for the birds to fly and have at it.

Fly they did, especially at the tank mojos, those things definitely work, which is awesome. But I was at the second dead tree and stupidly didn't have mojo power, only clipon. Still, plenty of fast flying, wing shooting action.

OK, I missed more than I hit but still, plenty of sound and fury and the tankers did very well, with one shooter close to limiting out. You see, practice doesn't hurt when you come to these things, especially when the birds are fast, go figure, dove, and shot-savvy, which they are at this point in the game; just watch them dodge your hurtling hail of 1400 fps BBs.

Then dusk began to fall and we regrouped in a laager of pickups to clean a tailgate of birds, tell war stories and enjoy ourselves under the bright stars of a Texan night. No small thing, they shine brightly.

What a great evening. Shotguns, pickups, birds, great people and the open air of the Lone Star State. There'll be dove poppers tomorrow. Yum.

Remember to aim,

LSP

Night On The Town

 

Back in the day I'd think nothing of hopping in the stick shift Ranger and getting on the road to Dallas for some late night fun or even early night fun, whatever. These days? Not so much. Then GWB called, "I'm in town on Thursday, let's hang out."

runway

I thought about this for maybe a second, "Where?" And before you could say the Ukraine's a Biden family printing press got a reply, "Javiers." Wow, Javiers, Dallas institution, dodge the Lamborghinis if you can. "Sure thing, let's RV at 1800."

loud as you like and then some

And so we did, for bar fun followed by carnitas followed by wine in the smoking room, yes they have one. I tell you, the sheer noise of Dallas exuberance wasn't far off a sound system going full tilt. Fun, if loud. And you have to wonder how many of these boys bellowing beneath the trophies are actual hunters.

Lambo

We asked one, "So what are you doing to celebrate Pride month? Hangn' out a flag or what?" Polling, you see. Quick as a flash our boy came back, "Uh, nothing. Don't hold with that." Nor did we, "Hold for dove?" Yes indeed and dam straight, by the 1000, in Argentina no less. "I understand you have to tape your trigger finger." That's where he was at and fair play.

Vocal chords exhausted, dial up a driver and head for home, restaurant budget exhausted for the year. Kyrie, but great result.

What a fun night,

LSP

Patrolling The Aposcalypse

 

Eschaton

One of the things about the Apocalypse is that it's searingly hot. Imagine a preheating oven and in its midst are tiny fragments  of combustible dust, super dry, ready to ignite. No kidding, Texas in mid-September is like an air bomb about to go off. Terrifying.

It didn't fortunately, but dove did explode out of the trees as I patrolled their welcome shade. A few years back I thought nothing of walking the treelines in 100+* and scaring up dove, snapshot!, and you never know, sometimes the shot would even connect. Let's see those poppers.

an old fraud

These days an armed stroll in the oven doesn't have quite the same appeal, but the excitement of wingshooting does. Message to market? Go for a walkabout with a #20, shoot some fliers, hopefully, then set up along the flight path with some mojos and have at it.

Then put those morsels of apocalyptic goodness into cream-cheese-filled jalapenos, wrap the beasts in bacon and off you go, to Valhalla and beyond. But word to the wise.

chicom rubbish

Keep your finger off the trigger till you're ready to shoot.

Eschaton,

LSP

What A Good Day!

 

Every day is a good day in the great Republic of Texas, but today was especially good. Mass #1 went well in an early morning kind of way, and the Senior Warden surprised me afterwards, asking, "What're we going to do for the Feast of Mary in August, because we're St. Mary's." I looked at GH and he looked at me, a man of few words.

GH's Dad, Rest in Peace

"The Feast of the Assumption?" I asked, "That's right, August fifteenth, I reckon we should get together for a cookout the day before. Hamburgers."  Easy decision, "Good idea, let's do it."

And so we  have a plan. Just so you know, GH raises Polled Hereford's on the side and is a good man. I've spent many a happy hour shooting pistols with his father (RIP), against hay bale berms and shooting dove in season on their land. Big fun. Setup in a treeline behind some Mojo decoys and wait for the avian acrobats to brave the flak barrage of #8 shot.

Typical Texas Country Pistol Scene

Mass #2 went well too, with lots of kids, a mercifully brief LSP homily on the remarkable, moving, powerful miracle of Jairus' daughter being raised from the dead, maiden, arise, and then an outstanding potluck after the service. Slow cooked ribs, turkey, pulled pork and more sides than you could count. All delicious. Just a really enjoyable country church lunch after a spirited Eucharist.

Then, as everyone was enjoying themselves, the heavens opened and rain shot down with frontier intensity on the parked rigs of the faithful and the baked Texan land. Seriously, it was pretty much zero viz for an hour or two. 

A Random Firearm

It's raining now, though less furiously, and I like that, cools things right off and smells good to boot. You see, sometimes our old adversary The Weather is our friend. But Climate War aside, what a good day.

God Bless,

LSP

Rod & Gun

It was tranquil on the big pond and large Bass were surging just out of casting range, which got the adrenaline up. Would they come in to the bank, or stay where they were, voraciously feeding off swarms of fry? 

They stayed where they were, wisely, and I didn't catch anything, despite the enticing promise of a 10" Texas rigged red ribbon tail worm. A bird was keeping an eye on the fish too, from the vantage point of a pipe. 

After casting about, I drove off to some hay bales with GWB and we set up in hope of shooting some dove. Like the fish, they wisely stayed away.

Later, back at the Compound, I cooked up some Toad in the Hole and onion gravy and I tell you, it was right tasty.

In other news, Kim Kardashian, who is not a hobbit, has been robbed in Paris. Good work, Team.

Gun rights,

LSP

Cooking With LSP, Smothered Dove

Cooking with LSP? That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard, you say with a snort of condescension, and I don't blame you, who'd have thought it. But there is a way and here's how.

Go on, Shoot Some Dove

Drag yourself away from Hillary Possessed By Satan! headlines, I know, it's hard, and go out and shoot some dove. Breast the birds and season with salt, pepper and Cavender's, which is made to an "Ancient Greek Formula." Who knew that the Athenians of old had Hydrolysed Corn Soy Protein? Well, now you do. 

Dove, Onion, Heavy Metal

Take time to stand back and admire your handiwork, thinking yourself fortunate that the kitchen's protected by a .38 Special, or a Glock, or a mighty .460 Magnum, or whatever. The gun's up to you.

Set it Aside!

Next step, fry some bacon in a piece of heavy metal, set it aside when crispy, and brown the dove in the drippings along with a chopped onion and some extra Ancient Greek Formula. That done, put the dove and onion aside with the bacon and congratulate yourself on a successful evolution. Good thing you've got that pistol, right? 

Random Dogs on a Rug

Add 3 tablespoons of flour to the drippings and stir it up, don't be scared, whisk away! As it starts to thicken, open a can of chicken broth and add that, too. Stir, and ponder the delicious aroma rising from the heavy metal. Congratulations, you've made gravy, just be sure you don't get it on your elitist inside-the-Beltway tasseled loafers.

Come Together

Reverie over, add dove, onion and bacon to the pot and stir it around. Cover and bake at 350* for an hour and serve with Yorkshire Pudding, or rice, or mashed potatoes, your call. Maybe include a vegetable of some sort, like carrots, it's up to you, there's no rule.

SOVEREIGN

When it's all together on the mahogany, fall upon your scoff and eat it it, like a Sovereign. And that's cooking, with...

LSP

Mission Accomplished

Farsighted readers of this country life mind blog may remember that today started off with a plan. Viz. Put rod, reel and gun in the rig and head out for action, and that's what happened.

First stop, the Big Pond, hook up for Bass and cast off. I used a pink worm, I don't know why, it just seemed right. Perhaps I thought the sluggish-heat-of-the-afternoon-fish would be stirred up by the shocking pink plastic of the thing.

Whatever the case, it worked, and before too long out came a very decent Bass. Good result, they want the pink worm, so keep it coming. Sure enough, I didn't have to wait long before the hook was set and the line was playing out again. In a big way. 

It felt, in my mind, like a Leviathan Bass or a big Catfish, so imagine my surprise when I finally reeled in a turtle, a big one. Both it and the Bass lived to fight again another day.

Then it was time for dove and I joined some of the team, who were merrily shooting down an avian acrobat the size of a Condor. No kidding, it was a huge dove and that got my hopes up. I've entered the Land of the Giant Dove (LGD), I thought to myself. But it was a false peak, the birds weren't flying, though it was fun to look out on the bucolic paradise of Olde Texas in eager expectation.

After an hour or so of that, everyone fell back to HQ for a grillout and fun and you know what? That's what it was, a lot of fun in the countryside, and there's nothing wrong with that, at all.

Your Old Friend,

LSP

The Plan

So what's the plan? It's simple, read up on  Luke's Gospel, drink some coffee, fry up a steak and couple of eggs, then load some rods and a gun in the truck and get out in the field. And who knows, maybe catch a fish or two and shoot some birds. I think you'll agree, a clear, compelling, achievable plan.

Bill Clinton has a plan, too. He plans to fill Detroit with Syian refugees. Well, hey, they've got to go somewhere and Martha's Vineyard is already booked, by millionaire socialists.

Champagne all 'round!

LSP

Sunday Shoot

Sunday evening seemed like a good time to drive out to a friend's ranch and shoot some dove, which is exactly what me and GWB tried to do.

We set up in a favorable treeline and waited for the birds to fly. We had high hopes, shotguns, a Mojo decoy and we'd seen plenty of dove while driving in.

An hour later it was getting near dark, a very beautiful twilight, to be sure, but no birds. So we fell back to the pickup, unloaded the guns and reached into the Yeti for a couple of cold ones. The lack of action was a disappointment but not by much, it was just good to get out in the field and enjoy that time when night is setting in over the fields.

Then, just as the first sip of the right stuff went down, two dove shot over. "Did you see that?" I asked GWB. "Unh hunh," he answered perceptively. Two more flew over, then a small wave, followed by a larger one and on and on. Just a lot of dove and well within range.

Kindly Old LSP

"I guess we know where to find the birds," I uttered with rare rhetorical insight. "Oh yeah," replied the parser of post-structuralist word games, "right above the beer concession."

I was tempted to do a quick reload and have at it but no, we had had our chance, and the birds had theirs.

God bless,

LSP

A Nice Day at the Beach

Beach Kit

I went for an armed stroll over at what my philisophical friend, GWB, calls "The Beach." The Beach is this swampy, snakey series of ponds out by Brandon. I thought that there might be fish and possibly dove or other small game, maybe squirrels, rabbits, even an unwiley coyote or a careless hog. You never know.

Gangland

So I got all quiet and tactical and went to scout out the Beach; there were plenty of dog tracks in the dark earth, which was still wet from all too rare rain. A big coyote had passed through recently and as I pondered that I saw a gang of turkeys. They were very unafraid and would have been an easy shot in season. I'll remember that spot for later in the year.

Spot the Bird

At the Beach proper I was disappointed to see there weren't any fish, but there was a large turtle who eyed me quizzically from the turgid depths of the pond. The air was thick with dragon flies and I waited, still, in the silence, which became loud with insects and birds.

The Beach

If I'd waited long enough something would have shown up and I would have shot it, but I picked my way through the swampy brush, keeping an eye out for arrowheads and associated archeology. You never know what you'll find, certainly not any dove, annoyingly.

I see there's a Putinist subculture in America. Well go figure.

Good hunting,

LSP

Opening Day!

Just hanging out

September 1st was a Sunday and there I was on the front porch, sipping a coffee and listening to the gunfire echoing around the town as everyone tried their hand against the fierce dove. I wanted to be there too, jousting against the avian acrobats, but I had to say Mass, twice, which I did.

A bit chilly

Then it was shotgun out, ice in the cooler, and off to the dove fields with GWB, my philisophic friend and all 'round sportsman. We set up under some trees in knock-you-dead heat and waited for the birds to fly. They didn't much and when they did I missed.

Mantis

Must take some time out for skeet and remedial shotgunnery. Still, a good time was had by all; I managed to catch a good size Bass and took a pic of a Preying Mantis.

Get out in the field

Then the sun set and it was time for home. More dove hunting later.

I love getting out in the field.

God bless,

LSP

Dove Mojo

Dove season's over, at least until December, and most weeks I've been able to get out in the field against the  avian acrobats. The result? An awful lot of sound and shotgun fury along with a small but steady stream of birds for the frying pan or grill.

Tasty

In previous years I'd beat the treelines and fields hoping to surprise the feathered adversaries and shoot them as they broke cover. There's an excitement in that; you hear the birds feeding and move in their direction, senses sharp, then bang, they explode from cover and bang, off goes the gun. Sometimes you get a hit and there's a bird or two for the bag. But more often than not they have your measure and fly before you're in range.

Mojo

This year involved a bit of that but the focus was on the set up. Conceal yourself in a likely place and wait for the dove to fly in. GWB introduced a Mojo decoy, which is a plastic dove on a spike with battery powered wings. I was skeptical. Surely the keen eyed birds would scorn the fakey lure. Not a bit of it. They'd fly straight in, dive bombing the Mojo, leaving you to break cover and snap off a shot.

But remember, if the birds see you skulking about the Mojo they won't take the bait.

Just sayin'.

LSP