Thursday, June 29, 2023

The Sparkle Creed


No fooling, the Sparkle Creed as recited by Edina Community Lutheran Church last Sunday, June 25. Here it is, led by pastorene Anna Helgen:

I believe in the non-binary God whose pronouns are plural.
I believe in Jesus Christ, their child, who wore a fabulous tunic and had two dads and saw everyone as a sibling-child of God.
I believe in the rainbow Spirit, who shatters our image of one white light and refracts it into a rainbow of gorgeous diversity.
I believe in the church of everyday saints as numerous, creative, and resilient as patches on the AIDS quilt, whose feet are grounded in mud and whose eyes gaze at the stars in wonder.
I believe in the calling to each of us that love is love is love, so beloved, let us love.
I believe, glorious God. Help my unbelief. Amen.

I believe in the church of everyday saints as numerous, creative, and resilient as patches on the AIDS quilt. The AIDS quilt? Excuse me, what the devil is that? Some kind of HIV infected bed covering? Devil take it to the incinerator before it infects anyone else, what?

And you, Anna, are guilty of mawkish blasphemy parading under the banner of a God you don't believe in. Readers, take note, mene mene tekel upharsin, מנא מנא תקל ופרסין, you have been weighed in the balance and found wanting. 

Anna, and all your friends who don't read this mind blog, pay attention. Note the supernatural weight of the Hebrew, almost a curse, a shadow of the original language of the Word, who is: (ἐν ἀρχῇ ἦν) ὁ λόγος, καὶ ὁ λόγος ἦν πρὸς τὸν θεόν, καὶ θεὸς ἦν ὁ λόγος.

Do not mess with this, you rainbow stole fools. It will go ill for you and for all your allies. Do you seriously imagine that the God you don't believe in, absolute BEING as opposed to, say, the Guardian or the NYT will ignore your mutiny? 

Not dissimilar to going up against gravity itself. Good luck with that.

So over the rainbow,



Well Seasoned Fool said...

Satan's fifth column?

RHT447 said...

'Over the Rainbow' always reminds me of this--

As noted in the rolling credits, performed by Israel Kamakawiwoʻole, who nailed it on the first take. Delightful movie, BTW.

Beans said...

Um... um...


God is God. No more, no less. He is God. His son is Jesus Christ. Says so in every bible that hasn't been butchered by leftist lunacy.

Jesus' mother was Mary.

His step-father was Joseph.

Again, says so right in every bible that hasn't been butchered.

This makes me sick. Like, gives me headaches and if I hear or read too much of it, it causes my stomach and guts to roil.

I'd say Satan is winning, but the pushback against the LGBTPDQRSVPMOUSE this year is rather strong, so there are people fighting it.

Would be interesting to see the fiscal records of parishes and churches hit by this deviltry and see how bad the fiscal hit is once the leaders start following Satan.

Dad of Six said...

I grew up a Missouri Synod Lutheran. My Dad had a cousin married to a American Lutheran Church (ALC) pastor. I remembered when the ALC first started having woman pastors; my parents were shocked; my Dad's cousin and husband less so. Then the ALC joined forces with Lutheran Church of America (LCA) and became the ELCA (Evangelical Lutheran Church of America), which is who this looney tune is attached to. The ELCA will eventually die out as they continue to embrace the rainbow unicorn.

Old NFO said...

Pardon my comment, but what the hell was that trash???

LSP said...

Most definitely, WSF.

LSP said...

Beautiful link, RHT!

LSP said...

They're taking a hit, Beans, most definitely.

But here's the thing. They, their leaders and followers don't actually believe and the leaders actively disbelieve. So they don't care if their part of the Church they don't believe in goes down on their watch.

WSF is right on point.

Of course there's hope in this. They destroy and disappear, we build.

LSP said...

I've known many fine Lutherans, DOS, and they're appalled by what's happened in their denom. It's been wrecked by the Rainbow cult along with Presbyterians, Methodists and Episcopaliens et al.

Rome would go down that path too if it could, imo, but there's all these awkward statements of belief/faith which act as a brake.

So the Enemy's contented itself by destroying their worship. I hope that territory's reclaimed.

LSP said...

It's weird, NFO. A commixture of mawkish sentiment allied with devilish blasphemy, sort of cucumber sandwiches in the vicarage garden after a black mass.

And yes. Trash.

Beans said...

LSP, Rome might survive if the current anti-pope kicks off and the College of Cardinals gets visions from upstairs and not downstairs and they elect a conservative reformer or a conservative or someone who actually follows the guiding principles of Mother Church.

But the Lavender Mafia is strong, oh so very strong.

We (Catholics) need a Pope who will guide Mother Church back into the Mysteries and Pagentry. One who will not have a problem condemning political leaders who stand for embryonic murder. One who will have no problem calling for a militant defense of Mother Church's properties on this earthly plane. One that will stand up against the Middle Kingdom and the Han.

Oh, Benedict, why did you step down?

One who's more Sixtus IV or Urban II than Francis the Talking Mule.

LSP said...

Oh my, Beans. I crossed the Tiber in the mid-90s from Old Mother Damnable (COE) which had just decided to kill itself by ordaining wimmin. So I get "Lavender Mafia." One friend warned me, "You do realize that 80% of the Venerabile and the English College are gay?" as he was himself, an aristocratic Benedictine, no less.

Dear God, Kyrie Eleison. Well, I went back to the Anglican thing, with all its many, many faults and worry.

That in mind, yes, we - and not just Roman Catholics - "need a Pope who will guide Mother Church back into the Mysteries and Pagentry. One who will not have a problem condemning political leaders who stand for embryonic murder. One who will have no problem calling for a militant defense of Mother Church's properties on this earthly plane."

The Roman, Petrine See is the de facto leader of Christendom, it just is, and it must be reclaimed for the Church Militant. Hey, I won't preach, but I might quote you.

And yes, Benedict, why did you resign! Man he was good, one of the most lucid expositors of the Faith. So clear and true!

The current thing? Not even remotely.

Forgive the mini essay.

Beans said...

Excellent essay. As you said, how Holy Mother Church (and the Pope) goes, so goes the other 'Catholic Light' churches.

Right now I'm more in line with Eastern Orthodox churches than I am with the current devil-worshiping Roman Catholic Church.

Quoting totally allowed, by the way. After all, I'll willingly quote you.

Excellent essay, by the way. How much of what you post here on your blog is found in your sermons? Too bad you're all the way in Texas, as I'd sit a mass you'd preach at.

I grew up in old-school military Catholic church, which was very resistant to infiltration by V2 issues. Even was an altar boy for two years. I miss the old Church.

LSP said...

Ah, with you, Beans, Orthodoxy seems to have missed the Cult-Marxist scourge. I'll post on that. BTW, a very close friend mocked me, "Putin's building a thousand churches a year? What a load of... *expletive.

Whoa. You, a nominal Christian, are against church building because... er... rainbow and the fkn Guardian and BBC. Utterly pathetic.

Miserere nobis.

I say again, reclaim the Church Militant. It can and will be done.

Beans said...

Sadly, though the Russian Orthodox Church may be building churches right and left, the continued issues of a failing population where the breeders are bailing and leaving the non-breeders is going to sink all the new churches.

Yes, Putin is a great man of the faith. He's also a bit of an egotistical nutjob dictator who fully believes (at least believed) in his own propaganda. To an extent that's needed in a leader, but there also needs to be some sanity involved.