Showing posts with label mawkish blasphemy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mawkish blasphemy. Show all posts

Thursday, June 29, 2023

The Sparkle Creed

 


No fooling, the Sparkle Creed as recited by Edina Community Lutheran Church last Sunday, June 25. Here it is, led by pastorene Anna Helgen:

I believe in the non-binary God whose pronouns are plural.
I believe in Jesus Christ, their child, who wore a fabulous tunic and had two dads and saw everyone as a sibling-child of God.
I believe in the rainbow Spirit, who shatters our image of one white light and refracts it into a rainbow of gorgeous diversity.
I believe in the church of everyday saints as numerous, creative, and resilient as patches on the AIDS quilt, whose feet are grounded in mud and whose eyes gaze at the stars in wonder.
I believe in the calling to each of us that love is love is love, so beloved, let us love.
I believe, glorious God. Help my unbelief. Amen.

I believe in the church of everyday saints as numerous, creative, and resilient as patches on the AIDS quilt. The AIDS quilt? Excuse me, what the devil is that? Some kind of HIV infected bed covering? Devil take it to the incinerator before it infects anyone else, what?





And you, Anna, are guilty of mawkish blasphemy parading under the banner of a God you don't believe in. Readers, take note, mene mene tekel upharsin, מנא מנא תקל ופרסין, you have been weighed in the balance and found wanting. 

Anna, and all your friends who don't read this mind blog, pay attention. Note the supernatural weight of the Hebrew, almost a curse, a shadow of the original language of the Word, who is: (ἐν ἀρχῇ ἦν) ὁ λόγος, καὶ ὁ λόγος ἦν πρὸς τὸν θεόν, καὶ θεὸς ἦν ὁ λόγος.




Do not mess with this, you rainbow stole fools. It will go ill for you and for all your allies. Do you seriously imagine that the God you don't believe in, absolute BEING as opposed to, say, the Guardian or the NYT will ignore your mutiny? 

Not dissimilar to going up against gravity itself. Good luck with that.

So over the rainbow,

LSP