Thursday, September 10, 2015

Womyn Bishops Are So Very Awesome

The shrinking Church of England is falling over what's left of itself to make womyn bishops, the top jobs that the declining denomination has to offer. A former Archdeacon, Christine Hardman, is the latest in a series of womyn to break through the stained glass ceiling this year, and has been nominated as the next Bishop of Newcastle.

According to Church statistics, only 5 dioceses in the CofE grew between 2008-2012, with the other 38 in decline. Average church attendance shrunk by 37,000 persons in the same period. Maybe all the womyn bishops will turn this Titanic around. Here's a womyn's Creed to get things moving.

I believe in God, our Mother Bear,
source of all being. 

I believe in Jesus Christ, God’s wisdom made flesh, 
along with Sophia, the church, and all that live in wisdom. 
Born of the bad-ass womanist liberation theologian, Mary, 
suffered under the systems of oppression of this world, 
was crucified, died, and was buried,
forever joining in solidarity with those murdered by Empire.
On the third day, the women declared him risen;
signifying God’s “No” to oppression.
He points to God our Mother Bear,
who works in this world, calling for justice for the poor and oppressed.

I believe in Sophia Spirit,
Christ’s body, the church,
the communion of saints,
the grace to reject this world’s systems,
hope for justice in the future,
and renewed life everlasting. Amen.

Beautiful, isn't it. Perhaps you didn't know that God was a Mother Bear and Mary was a bad-ass womanist liberation theologian. Now you do.

Good luck, CofE,



LL said...

The interpretive dance-in-a-religious service takes on a circus. Maybe people would come back to the congregation if they added a steam calliope and a real dancing bear?

LL said...

What about adding a concession that sells hard narcotics. LSD would make the whole circus more meaningful. Add heroin to make the congregation comfortably numb (and compliant). Mind altering substances (peyote grows wild in the desert southwest as does Jimson Weed) would be good business if you're focusing on entertainment-based faith. Adding a clown to the marquee might bring them in too (in addition to the dancing lesbians).

LSP said...

Sort of a circus with hard narc? Sounds a bit like Burning Man.

Anonymous said...

The last photo, is that Bruce Jenner?

jenny said...

here's to bad-ass Mother Bears.
my stars.

LL said...

I hadn't thought about it, but YES, it could be Burning Man every Sunday. If you're going to do that, you need to start a business that builds wicker men for sacrificial purposes. You can outsource to the witches...which brings us full circle to the womyn bishops.

LSP said...

Cait's pretty religious, Anonymous.

Undergroundpewster said...

Cait may be religious but he ain't pretty.

Undergroundpewster said...

If womyn bishops work as well for the CofE as they have for TEc, we may want to think about changing the name Anglican to something else.