Womyn Bishops Are So Very Awesome

The shrinking Church of England is falling over what's left of itself to make womyn bishops, the top jobs that the declining denomination has to offer. A former Archdeacon, Christine Hardman, is the latest in a series of womyn to break through the stained glass ceiling this year, and has been nominated as the next Bishop of Newcastle.

According to Church statistics, only 5 dioceses in the CofE grew between 2008-2012, with the other 38 in decline. Average church attendance shrunk by 37,000 persons in the same period. Maybe all the womyn bishops will turn this Titanic around. Here's a womyn's Creed to get things moving.

I believe in God, our Mother Bear,

source of all being. 

I believe in Jesus Christ, God’s wisdom made flesh, 

along with Sophia, the church, and all that live in wisdom. 

Born of the bad-ass womanist liberation theologian, Mary, 

suffered under the systems of oppression of this world, 

was crucified, died, and was buried,

forever joining in solidarity with those murdered by Empire.

On the third day, the women declared him risen;

signifying God’s “No” to oppression.

He points to God our Mother Bear,

who works in this world, calling for justice for the poor and oppressed.

I believe in Sophia Spirit,

Christ’s body, the church,

the communion of saints,

the grace to reject this world’s systems,

hope for justice in the future,

and renewed life everlasting. Amen.

Beautiful, isn't it. Perhaps you didn't know that God was a Mother Bear and Mary was a bad-ass womanist liberation theologian. Now you do.

Good luck, CofE,

LSP

Protestant Prelates Wage Peace, ISIS Laughs

Counting down the hours until they too can become Dhimmis, mainline Protestant denominations have stated their opposition to the use of force against ISIS. 

In a letter to President Obama, the United Methodists, Prebyterians, United Church of Christ and the Quakers have stated that military action against the savage Muslim terror group "is not necessary."

Instead they recommend, “long-term investments in supporting inclusive governance and diplomacy, nonviolent resistance, sustainable development, and community-level peace and reconciliation processes.”

And that's not all. Not by any means. These soon-to-be Jizyazites want to send out “professionally trained unarmed civilian protection organizations to assist and offer some buffer for displaced persons and refugees.”

In the meanwhile, ISIS is laughing all the way to the nearest woman bishop.

Maybe you think this is some kind of joke, like satire, but no, these clowns are for real and so are the savages.

Good to hear Christians are fighting back.

LSP

Blood on the Floor of the Synod

It's not easy being a senior female clergyperson in the Church of England these days. You want power, real power, not the pale imitation that comes with being an Archdeacon, or even a Dean. No, you want the real thing, you want to be a bishop.

consecrate!

And it was so close, so very, very close. Friends were knitting presentation vestments, you've spotted that ring, the gold one that you've always wanted, and Watts has sized you up for a miter. The Episcopal Palace has been redecorated at least a dozen times, in your mind. You almost live there already!

living the dream

Then, today, the dream came crashing down. The Church of England's House of Laity said no. Maybe, in 5 years time, when the Measure resurfaces, you'll be retired and the Christian world will heave a sigh of relief.

a woman "bishop"

Well done, Laity. Bad show, Bishops and Clergy.

COE, you've dodged a bullet. But remember, Hell hath no fury...

LSP