Monday, December 1, 2014

Rev. Al Sharpton Spotted, in Zimbabwe!


World-famous celebrity pastor and justice advocate, Rev. Al Sharpton, has been spotted by schoolchildren at an elementary school in Ruwa, Zimbabwe.



According to multiple witnesses, Sharpton disembarked from a strange craft, wearing a "shiny black and silver suit." Described as a "small man," the pastor proceeded to terrify the schoolchildren.



"Many of the smaller children were terrified and began crying for help," said one observer, "The 'little man' evoked memories of African legends they had heard about demons and ghosts who ate little children." 



After delivering a telepathic message "with his eyes," Sharpton left Zimbabwe. He will be appearing at the White House on Monday for a meeting with President Obama.

You can support Al Sharpton by clicking on this link.

LSP

19 comments:

Euripides said...

That top photo explains a lot about Al Sharpton.

LL said...

I contributed one chicken wing (uncooked) to try and keep Rev. Sharpton alive and doing Obama's bidding.

My hope is that he'll lure Obama into the "mother ship" with that chicken wing...and that's the last we'll see of either of them.

LL said...

P.S. I hope that they don't try to lure Blue Astronaut into the mother ship with the promise of that chicken wing. I give him credit for better, but just in case, keep the hound well fed for the next week or so.

I have hopes that Sharpton will lure Oprah into the mother ship too (with the same chicken wing). Oprah is known to love chicken wings almost as much as her Chicago buddy, Barack, does.

LSP said...

Doesn't it, Euripides.

LSP said...

Good to see someone contributing to the campaign!

Blue Spacewalk isn't fooled by Al, Barack, Oprah, Chicago, or the Mothership.

But he wants to attack them.

I'm holding Blue Strikeforce back. For now.

Brighid said...

Let Blue SEAL do the work he was destined for...

LSP said...

I'm thinking I should send him to LL for a "refresher", Brighid.

#honeskills

LL said...

I will train him to operate lasers, to launch missiles and will replace his teeth with titanium fang implants so that he can tear apart steel. Think of a Wolverine (the superhero) dog with an enhanced skeleton and you're in the ballpark.

Blue Wolverine...yeah baby!

LL said...

I'm tired of the white man always getting up in Sharpton's grill. They say he owes a bit over three quarters of a million dollars in back taxes. You know that's the white man's accounting and the white man's justice.

Reverend Al lives like Mother Teresa in the ghetto and scavenges in dumpsters for his dinner. He's a poor man, a humble man, a man of the slums.

You know that he donates bibles and soap to the unfortunates in America. He gives them tooth paste and old clothes that mean HOPE.

Brighid said...

I sure as shoot'n hope that agent on the other side of the glass doesn't think anyone there has his back. Nice mag holder...

LL said...

Brig, I can't imagine a job where anyone would expect me to take a bullet for or to jump on a grenade for B. Hussein or his cronies.

LL said...

I'm thinking of trying to get a job as a "Celebrity Pastor" on MSNBC. Al doesn't have a congregation or a church. He is black, which may be an advantage. I am willing to go on wearing "black face" if it improves my image.

I don't think that Al has schooling in the 'divine sciences' and that he always felt a calling to preach because it's lucrative.

If I'm going to do that, I'll have to toss the $2K Hickey Freeman business suits and buy some fancy ones, have my teeth whitened and buy gold jewelry.

Or I could go on Channel 40 if NBC throws me under a bus? I'd need to find some women to go on with me with "big hair". Brighid and Pretty Jenny could wear wigs. Blue Cripple could come on the set and be healed. Start teaching him to limp.

LL said...

If I do become a televangelist or tent preacher, I'll need back-up if Blue Cripple doesn't heal appropriately or if a comely young lady that I'm "counseling" (that's what Rev. Sharpton and Jackson call it) should denounce me. I was thinking that the Dallas Light Cavalry (Irregular) might need to be called upon.

LSP said...

I think you'll make a pretty good "reverend", LL. And the DLC (irreg) would be ready and willing to ride in.

Blue Lamepaw has developed a fine limp, despite his enhanced skeleton. The titanium teeth are, of course, a secret.

And, by way of interest, "blackface" worked strangely well in the Mau Mau rebellion and, I think, in the Rhodesian bush war. I've always been a bit baffled by that.

Brighid said...

LL, a tent preacher (in dress whites)... all for a lot of filthy lira and hordes of women worshiping at his feet...

LL said...

If I was a television reverend, I wouldn't have to pay taxes so long as the leftists are in office. But would end up like Jim and Tammy Faye if the Republicans should win.

LSP said...

I'm a little disturbed about the "white dress," but hey, each to their own...

Brighid said...

LL needs to send you a pic of Himself in dress whites with full medal jacket...

LSP said...

What can I say? Respect.