Liturgical Dance Is The Best!

The best thing about liturgical dance is that it's so very, very awesome. It wasn't allowed until the Church reformed its liturgy to make worship more popular.

Liturgical dance has been a rip-roaring success, like all the other liturgical reforms which filled the pews.

Except that they didn't.

Not dissimilar, come to think of it, to the priestesses and now the trannies. You know the powerful argument, "Unless you ordain transsexuals, no one will take the Church seriously."

And male, military age Muslim immigrants are "warriors of hope." Hope of what, Francis? Submission to Allah? Globalist labor rates that make our transnational, globalist elites even more satanically rich than they already are?

Or to put it another way, why are we committing cultural and spiritual suicide? Serious question.

Your Pal,

LSP

Hef Is Dead

Hef is dead, at the remarkable age of 91 and Ross Douthat sums it up neatly, writing for the beastly New York Times.

This late phase was prettied up by reality television's The Girls Next Door, which kept the orgies offstage and relied on the girlfriends' mix of desperation, boredom and charisma for its strange appeal. The behind-the-scenes accounts were rather grimmer: depression and drugs, "dirty hallway carpets and the curtains that smell like dog piss," the chance to wait while Hef "picked the dog poo off the carpet — and then ask for our allowance.

Just to drive the message home, here's a quick infovideo, from California.

Mind how you go,

LSP

Go On, Beat The Drum

I know, I know, there's not been many sporting posts on the this fascinating mind blog lately and that's because I've been babysitting. So here's a fishing infovideo to set the record straight.

When my son, the Cadet (potential) saw it,  he said, "You look younger, Guv'nor." Such, readers, is the magic of fishing.

Tight lines,

LSP

Dr. Seuss Is So Very, Very Racist

Thanks to Liz Phipps Soiero, the whole world knows that Dr. Suess books are insufferably racist. That's why Soiero, a Cambridge, Massachusetts school librarian, rejected Melania's kind book bundle of Seuss' classic treatise on white supremacy, "Oh, The Places You'll Go!"

The problem, according to Soiero, is that Seuss' characters are "minstrelsy," and "steeped in racist propoganda." Minstrelsy? Yes indeed, that's because they often wear bow ties, just like those famous racists, Porky the Pig and Boo Boo the Bear. Mark Steyn actually bothered to do the research, looking up Soeiro's source text, an article in  the Journal of Social Justice Librarians. Here he is, on Tucker Carlson Tonight.

The piece argues that the Cat in the Hat’s bow tie is meant to be an evocation of 19th-century racist minstrel shows. Now just off the top of my head, cartoon characters who wear bow ties — Porky Pig, Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, Huckleberry Hound. Yogi Bear doesn’t wear a bow, he wears a tie like me, but his boy sidekick Boo Boo the Bear wears a bow tie.

Ambrosia, I think the name is, in ‘My Little Pony’ wears a bow tie. I’m not one of the many men in the western world who are obsessed with ‘My Little Pony’ and have ‘My Little Pony’ parties, but I happen to know this one character in ‘My Little Pony’ wears a bow tie. Cartoon characters wear bow ties. That has nothing to do the minstrel shows. We are making ourselves a society too stupid to survive...

We are making ourselves a society too stupid to survive, says the apocalyptic Steyn and he has an evident point. My Little Pony, how minstrelsy. But mind-bending dimwittedness aside, let's not forget hypocrisy. You see, Soiero likes dressing up as a Dr. Seuss character. This is her in 2015.

Who knows, maybe the enlightened librarian has repented of her racist, minstrelsy, Seussian past. On the other hand, perhaps she simply hates America's attractive and glamorous First Lady and her husband. Imagine Soeiro's reaction if Michelle Obama had sent the book bundle.

Go ahead, try that hat on for size.

Your Old Friend,

LSP

St. Michael The Archangel Defend Us

It's the Feast of St. Michael and All Angels today and we make a special point of asking for archangelic protection. This prayer was customarily recited after Low Mass until the liturgical reforms of Vatican II and many use it today:

Saint Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle, be our protection against the malice and snares of the devil. May God rebuke him we humbly pray; and do thou, O Prince of the Heavenly host, by the power of God, thrust into hell Satan and all evil spirits who wander through the world for the ruin of souls. Amen.

Powerful stuff and attributed to Leo XIII, who had seen a terrifying vision of demons being allowed out of the Pit to afflict the Church. He went on to include a version of the prayer in the Roman Ritual, for use in exorcism. It's long, so here's an excerpt.

Oh, pray to the God of peace that He may put Satan under our feet, so far conquered that he may no longer be able to hold men in captivity and harm the Church. Offer our prayers in the sight of the Most High, so that they may quickly conciliate the mercies of the Lord; and beating down the dragon, the ancient serpent, who is the devil and Satan, do thou again make him captive in the abyss, that he may no longer seduce the nations. Amen.

Of course Leo wasn't happy about the papacy's loss of temporal sovereignty and the Quirinale Palace. But he was surely prescient in discerning the spiritual roots of the gathering attack on the Church, a spiritual opposition that, these days, hardly even bothers to hide its face.

Out, demons, out.

LSP

Is This The Face Of The Church Of England?

Startling new evidence suggests that the face of the Church of England has been found, in an underground cave in Utah.

The Face was discovered by avid cavers, Kevin Tittington and Colin Wetmore, who stumbled across a hidden cavern in Utah's famous Devil's Gorge. 

Finding a stone box wrapped in bark, the subterranean adventurers were amazed to see that it contained gold plates, covered in mysterious symbols and the outline of a bishop figure.

"It was clearly the face of the Church of England," stated Tittington, "Just look at the image. Pointed hat, mysterious symbols, we think it's a 'mission statement' and it has a staff thing. It looks a lot like a bishop figure."

However, the Face isn't the only artifact found in Devil's Gorge. The cavers also discovered two stone sarcophagi, one containing the mummified body of a woman and the other of a man. Wetmore claims this is evidence of the Church of England's "two integrities."

Artist's impression

"It was really amazing," said Wetmore, "Two desiccated mummies, of a man and a woman, buried alongside the Face of the Church of England. It is clearly evidence of two integrities."

Artist's impression

When asked if the symbols on the Church of England's metal plates were a form of "creed," Wetmore was ambiguous, "I don't know, it may be a creed but they're indecipherable, no one can work them out."

Others disagree.  According to one paranormal expert, "The whole thing's a fraud, it's just a hoax. It doesn't even look that much like a bishop. No one's actually seen the so-called 'two integrities.' They're a figment of Tittington and Wetmore's imagination."

Face or Fraud?

You decide,

LSP

Diocese Of Southwark Caught On Camera!

Disturbing footage shows what appears to be the Diocese of Southwark, terrorizing a toddler in a kitchen in Argentina.

The video shows baby Benjamin talking to himself, when the Diocese of Southwark appears out of thin air and scampers across the kitchen floor before escaping into the garden.

The toddler's mother, Silvia, started filming when she saw her son becoming nervous and at first didn't believe her eyes.

"I thought it was some kind of rodent, maybe a goblin; I was shocked when I realized it was the Diocese of Southwark. After running across the kitchen floor it disappeared into the garden, leaving a nauseating smell."

However, not all are convinced. "It's clearly a small goblin," stated one expert, "The Diocese of Southwark has been firmly located in Brewer's Cave, Utah. This is something else, possibly the Diocese of Los Angeles or Kentucky."

Has the Diocese of Southwark been captured on film, in an Argentinian kitchen?

You, the reader, be the judge,

LSP

Star Spangled Banner Slavers

Everyone's obeying their new spiritual master, George Clooney, and kneeling during the Star Spangled Banner because it's so very racist. They've forgotten, in their virtue signaling, concussed genius that the anthem in question originally featured our victory over turban headed, slave-owning Moslems. 

Here's George Rutler, writing for Crisis:

Over fourteen centuries, roughly 200 million slaves, white and black, were sold by Muslim traders, and almost all the Africans sold to European traders for export to America were enslaved by Muslims. Muslim slavers sought markets during their European invasions, and even raided west County Cork in Ireland, capturing 107 Irish and English villagers from a place called, coincidentally, Baltimore on June 20, 1631 and consigning them to perpetual slavery in North Africa. So many Eastern Europeans were enslaved that the word “slave” itself comes from “Slav.” While lip service is given to abolition in Islamic lands, slavery today in the forms of bondage, forced labor, human trafficking and servile marriage, is blatant in Sudan, Niger, Gambia Benin, the Ivory Coast and Senegal. A quarter of the 3.8 million Mauritanians, a Suffi Islam state, are slaves. Slavery was not abolished at least nominally in Saudi Arabia and Yemen until 1962 under Western pressure principally from Britain. Actual slavery is common in Hinduism as well, and India has the most slaves among nations: some 18 million, more than the population of the Netherlands.

Where is the indignation of protestors here? Indignation is selective.

A Typical Millionaire Socialist

Ain't it just. 

Celebrity socialist multi-millionaire actor, George Clooney, is married to a Muslim, curiously.

Kizmet,

LSP

 

George Clooney Man Of Prayer

Multi-millionaire socialist celebrity actor, George Clooney, has got religion. Well, kind of. The mega-wealthy superstar leftist has written a prayer endorsing other tremendously rich socialists who "take the knee" when the national anthem's played. Millionaire socialists like the Dallas Cowboys. 

Here's Clooney's moving prayer.

I pray for my country.

I pray that we can find more that unites us than divides us.

I pray that our nation’s leaders want to do the same.

I pray that young children like Tamir Rice can feel safe in their own neighborhood.

I pray for all of our children.

I pray for our police and our first responders.

I pray for our men and women of the armed services.

I pray that dissent will always be protected in this great country.

I pray for a more perfect union.

And when I pray, I kneel.

How touching, When I pray, I kneel. So all our rich-beyond-your-wildest-dreams socialist ballers are praying when they refuse to stand for the national anthem? Really? 

Like they're asking forgiveness  from God for beating their wives, hospitalizing cops and getting off-the-hook on the wrong side of the Dallas tollway? 

No, they're praying to the Race God. But as you ponder that, consider this. Does anyone remember the firestorm of outrage that erupted from celebrities when Tim Tebow had the temerity to kneel and pray on the field?

Apparently Clooney and the rest of Genius Patrol have forgotten that. But, to be fair, Tebow was praying to a different deity.

In Nomine,

LSP

Ball Joint Apocalypse

While everyone else was busy "taking the knee" or burning NFL logos, I was taking the rig to the shop. You see, the front suspension was sounding rough and creaky.

Where was the creak coming from? Sure, somewhere at the front but where exactly; hard to tell. I rocked the stationary leviathan back and forth, trying to pinpoint the apocalyptic creak. Like a hot coal falling from a smoking thurible, it seemed to be coming from behind the wheels.

Underneath an F150

So I climbed under the thing and had a look, all the while pushing up on the Beast to provoke the eschatological creak. Was it the shocks, tie rods, sway bar or ball joints? 

Not The Problem But Change Out The Ancient Shocks Anyway

With a sinking feeling that the end of the world was near, I figured it was probably the ball joints. But, hope against hope, I sprayed lithium grease and WD40 over everything, all on the off-chance that a miracle would occur and lube would magically cure the hideous creak.

 Note The Eschatological Bottom Ball Joint

It didn't, no more than words like "millionaire socialist hypocrite" would cure the concussed minds of our nation's baller geniuses. That's because Ford, in its wisdom, doesn't build grease inlets into F150 ball joints. You can spray all the lube you want and it's not going to grease up the interior of the joints, which dry out and die.

Brazen

I know, you'll scorn me for not attempting the job myself but I took the rig to the Shop of The Brazen Pineapple that rests upon the Seven Hills of this rural haven and they quoted me $700, mostly labor.

Genius Patrol

The moral of this end-times tale of country life in Texas is simple. Built-in obsolescence is evil, and learn how to replace your ball joints or pay the price.

Here endeth the lesson.

LSP

Baller Genius

Obviously Clever

You'll note, all three of you that follow this mind blog, that the libs have pulled out their intellectual heavyweights in the moral crusade against President Trump. That's right, "ballers."

The millionaire socialist geniuses in the balling fraternity don't like MAGA. In fact they don't like America at all, even though it pays them millions of dollars. They scorn that.

Smart Squad

But we'll resist the the temptation to profile these hypocritical delta-minus-millionaire-commie-semi-morons.

The Genius of LeBron

Readers, all four of you, gloss over the fact that LeBron James gets paid over $36 million and Colin Kaepernick has a net worth of something like $22 million. 

Maybe they hate their country because it doesn't pay them enough. Or maybe they hate it because they're so smart.

Clever As Clever Does

Smart, like Madonna and her Old Witch, Hillary.

Typical Millionaire Baller Socialists

Here's a thought. Boycott the NFL, and Madonna. As you do, reflect on the old adage, "There's nothing the millionaire socialist likes worse than being hit in the purse."

Ad Astra,

LSP

St. Andrew's Goes Satan Then Says Sorry

Historic St. Andrew's, Holborn, in the City of London hosted a satanic fashion show by Turkish designer Dilara Findikoglu.

Satan's Bride, Note Sigil

There was a Bride of Satan

Some Dude Called Violet Chachki

A bloke in a corset dressed up as a Devil Woman

No Fun Having A Satanic Sigil On Your Nose

A miserable little Devil Girl

Count Chocula

A Vampire

Mysticke

And a Red Witch.

St. Andrew's has apologized.

So that's alright then.

Leaving aside the fashion industry, occultism, devil worship and associated crime are on the rise in the UK as church attendance declines. Make of that what you will.

God bless,

LSP