The Feast of St. Andrew

Listen up, Heathen. Today's the Feast of St. Andrew the Apostle who was martyred by the pagan Roman state. Here's his collect, from the 1928 BCP:

ALMIGHTY God, who didst give such grace unto thy holy Apostle Saint Andrew, that he readily obeyed the calling of thy Son Jesus Christ, and followed him without delay; Grant unto us all, that we, being called by thy holy Word, may forthwith give up ourselves obediently to fulfil thy holy commandments; through the same Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

St. Andrew, pray for us.

LSP

Hippies Trash Tribal Land

Freeloading bands of thieving hippies are wrecking North Dakota, stealing food and trashing once pristine tribal land.

According to DAPL protestor, Alicia Smith,"They are coming in, taking food, clothing etc and occupying space without any desire to participate in camp maintenance and without respect of tribal protocols." 

Thieves

Characteristically, the hippies are "subsisting entirely" off of other people's money and "generosity," noted Smith in a post on social media.

An Indian

Hippies are notorious thieves, whether the feared warrior Sioux will put up with their panhandling antics remains to be seen.

Drill, drill, drill.

LSP

Melania Mondays!

One of the best things about the incoming Administration is Melania, and here at the Compound we're delighted to bring you Melania Mondays! A by demand (BW) new series featuring the popular First Lady in waiting.

Here she is, looking good in her famous "Pussy-Bow" blouse. Clever Melania!

Others, like the unattractive millionaire socialist, Rosie O'Donnel, aren't so happy and accused Melania's son of being autistic. Fiercely protective Melania is threatening to sue the grossly overweight celebrity  lesbyterian.

Who knows, maybe the lawsuit will drive the aggressively unappealing Rosie to Canada.

Yes please.

LSP

And... They're Back!

As America erupted in a frenzy of mall brawl shopping and Team LSP tended the grill, Satan Inc. was getting ready to pour yet more millions of dollars into Hillary's ego.

Fill The Ego!

Not content with her puppeteer losing the election, Hillary's proxy, Jill "spend those socialist millions" Stein, was ramping up to challenge the results in Michigan, Wisconsin and Pennsylvania. Despite there being no evidence of hacking or fraud other than, you know, Hillary losing the vote.

Nice Pizza, Hillary

Let's see what kind of ROI Hillary's deep pocketed investors donors get out of launching this next tranche of big money into the Clintonian bottom line. If nothing, will they want their money back?

As you ponder that, ask yourself whether Podesta's emails have anything to do with pizzagate pedophilia. Not that he's a Crowleyite ritual magicke occcultist or anything.

Occultists

Reports of the Archbishop of Canterbury fighting over flatscreens at Walmart Black Friday Supersales in New Jersey may or may not be true.

That is all.

LSP

Black Friday Grillout

Did you survive Thanksgiving? We did, just, and fought through to the next Objective, Black Friday. What did Black Friday mean, here at Dallas HQ?

Operation GRILLOUT. And let me tell you, it was perfect.

In other news, Welby's been spotted brawling over flatscreens at malls in flyover country. But that's a different homily.

God bless,

LSP

Happy Thanksgiving!

Look, everyone, don't let Megyn Kelly's appalling new book ruin your Thanksgiving. Just put it out of your mind and concentrate on having fun with friends and family.

And if you're about to get on the road and drive to, say, Dallas, be careful.

Happy Thanksgiving!

LSP

Scorn Megyn Kelly

Megynne Kelly, who's angling for a $20 million contract and hedged her bets on a Trump lose, has published a memoir, Settle For More. Go figure.

Megynne's cash getting drivel has been slated by reviewers on Amazon. Here's a sample.

In a fit of free speech, Amazon removed many of the reviews. Megynne, who was once popular and attractive, has become ugly and is now scorned by ordinary Americans everywhere.

Who knows, perhaps the multi-millionaire celebrity journalist will find a slot with Jeff "I'm Not Corrupt" Zucker's despised CNN.

And maybe Hillary won the election.

Megyn, we scorn you.

LSP

Who is Welby, Cheap Two-Bit Grifter or Solo Crime Fighter?

It's a far cry from the silk robes of Westminster Abbey and the gilded Fish Miter of Canterbury Cathedral but photographic evidence reveals Archbishop Justin Welby has left his posh Lambeth Palace digs for the mean streets of Detroit.

Initial reports suggested that the leader of the struggling CofE was panhandling for spare change and hustling pawnshops in America's onetime automotive capital, in a desperate bid to meet his shrinking denomination's budgetary shortfall.

However, recent photos show a different Welby, a solo crime fighter gunning a motorcycle through the abandoned Studebaker plant and posing alongside a homemade vigilante network poster.

Detroit Police Chief, James Craig, appears to welcome the Archbishop's new initiative.

"Criminals are getting the message that good Detroiters are armed and will use that weapon. If Justin Welby wants to be part of taking back our streets, that's fine. Detroit's a big city,” said Chief Craig to local press.

Others aren't convinced. "Welby can set up as a Motor City crime fighter but no one's fooled, it's just a cheap stunt," said one resident, "I saw him grifting outside Cobo Hall on Monday, he's always after spare change."

Archbishop Justin Welby, cheap two-bit grifter or Motor City solo crime fighter?

You, the reader, be the judge.

LSP

It's Bushcraft Wednesday!

It's Bushcraft Wednesdy and time once again to remind ourselves that life isn't just about sitting in a cubicle in the metrosprawl and getting your factory produced "food" from the nearest Tom Thumb. No, you can get out in the wild and do it yourself.

That can be dangerous and here at the Compound we hope you find this short infovideo as helpful as we do.

Your Friend,

LSP

Fake News?

There's fake news and there's fake news. Here at the Compound we choose to not listen to CNN and its pathetic millionaire socialist lib loser, Jeff so-called Zucker.

What can I say? The otters have it.

Rule Britannia,

LSP

I Hate Your Network

In Trump's America the fun never ends, unless you're CNN President, Jeff Zucker, who got a Golden Tower pounding yesterday along with other millionaire Media celebrities.

Dishonest, Deceitful, Liars

In a leaked report of the event,"Trump started with Jeff Zucker and said 'I hate your network, everyone at CNN is a liar and you should be ashamed.'" But the property tycoon's scorn wasn't just reserved for Zucker's embarrassingly biased fake news network, other members of the Press got it too, as the President Elect called them out for being "dishonest, deceitful liars."

This caused one member of the agitprop arm of the Democrat Party, who was interviewed by the pathetically comsymp millionaire socialist New Yorker, to have an emotional meltdown. 

“I have to tell you, I am emotionally ****ing pissed,” another participant said. “How can this not influence coverage? I am being totally honest with you. Toward the end of the campaign, it got to a point where I thought that the coverage was all about [Trump’s] flaws and problems. And that’s legit. But, I thought, O.K., let’s give them the benefit of the doubt. After the meeting today, though—and I am being human with you here—I think, ***k him! I know I am being emotional about it. And I know I will get over it in a couple of days after Thanksgiving. But I really am offended. This was unprecedented. Outrageous!”

But I really am offended. This was unprecedented. Outrageous! Maybe you didn't get the memo, crybaby. Nobody cares.

According to one Intelligence Community insider, a number of press passes are about to be revoked.

Yes, please.

LSP

Melania is Awesome and the Posh Challenge

One of the Team's not too happy about the way Melania's being treated by the progleft commie fashionistas and sent in the above "meme." Some of you know the sender as "BW" and she's famous on both sides of the Atlantic for her ability to impersonate "Posh Spice."

Posh, aka Victoria Beckham, no longer smiles in public after the Sunday Sport accused the celebrity of being a "Village Idiot." 

BW, can you do the "Posh" smile? The challenge is on.

Arduus ad Solem,

LSP