Reptilian

Shocking photographic evidence has emerged that Hillary Clinton is a Reptilian.

Hillary Clinton's Eye

Photos clearly show Democratic frontrunner, Hillary Clinton, with yellow irises, long, slitted pupils and green-hued skin, all primary Reptilian characteristics.

Close Up of Hillary's Eye

Paranormal experts believe that reptilians are interdimensional beings who "inhabit" or take over a human body, either through compatible DNA or through the host body's "negativity."

Artist's Impression of a Reptilian

"People who live in a state of negativity, fear, anger, violence, aggression," stated one Reptilian observer, "are creating an energy within their body that is compatible with the reptilian energy (which is based on many of these traits) Just as humans draw to them other people who have similar energy to theirs other Beings do also [Sic]."

When candidate Clinton was taken over by a reptoid entity is unclear, although evidence points to some time in the 1970s.

Yoko Ono was unavailable for comment.

LSP

Good Friday

Consummatum Est

ALMIGHTY God, we beseech thee graciously to behold this thy family, for which our Lord Jesus Christ was contented to be betrayed, and given up into the hands of wicked men, and to suffer death upon the cross; who now liveth and reigneth with thee and the Holy Ghost ever, one God, world without end. Amen.

ALMIGHTY and everlasting God, by whose Spirit the whole body of the Church is governed and sanctified; Receive our supplications and prayers, which we offer before thee for all estates of men in thy holy Church, that every member of the same, in his vocation and ministry, may truly and godly serve thee; through our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. Amen.

MERCIFUL God, who hast made all men, and hatest nothing that thou hast made, nor desirest the death of a sinner, but rather that he should be converted and live; Have mercy upon all who know thee not as thou art revealed in the Gospel of thy Son. Take from them all ignorance, hardness of heart, and contempt of thy Word; and so fetch them home, blessed Lord, to thy fold, that they may be made one flock under one shepherd, Jesus Christ our Lord, who liveth and reigneth with thee and the Holy Spirit, one God, world without end. Amen.

God bless,

LSP

Maundy Thursday

It's Maundy Thursday and time to concentrate on higher things than the Archbishop of Canterbury's latest mall brawl antics. So here's a couple of prayers, or Collects, for the day:

ALMIGHTY Father, whose dear Son, on the night before he suffered, did institute the Sacrament of his Body and Blood; Mercifully grant that we may thankfully receive the same in remembrance of him, who in these holy mysteries giveth us a pledge of life eternal; the same thy Son Jesus Christ our Lord, who now liveth and reigneth with thee and the Holy Spirit ever, one God, world without end. Amen.

And for all you Roman Catholic trads out there, here's the Extraordinary Form Collect (1962 Missal):

DEUS, a quo et Judas reátus sui pœnam, et confessiónis suæ latro prǽmium sumpsit, concéde nobis tuæ propitiatiónis efféctum: ut, sicut in passióne sua Jesus Christus Dóminus noster divérsa utrísque íntulit stipéndia meritórum; ita nobis, abláto vetustátis erróre, resurrectiónis suæ grátiam largiátur. Qui tecum vivit et regnat in unitáte Spíritus Sancti Deus, per ómnia sǽcula sæculórum.

(O GOD, from whom Judas received the punishment of his guilt, and the thief the reward of his confession: grant unto us the full fruit of Thy Clemency; that even as in His Passion our Lord Jesus Christ gave to each retribution according to his merits, so having cleared away our former guilt, He may bestow on us the grace of His Resurrection: Who with Thee liveth and reigneth in the unity of the Holy Ghost, God, world without end.)

Have a blessed Triduum,

LSP

Archbishop of Canterbury in Easter Bunny Mall Brawl

That bunny packs a punch!

The Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby, was attempting to raise money for the cash-strapped Church of England, by dressing up as the Easter Bunny at a New Jersey Mall. But things started to go wrong when a young girl slipped off the Pontif's lap.

The girl's father became irate and started to brawl with the Archbishop, at which point Welby took off his furry rabbit mask and charged at the angry dad, swinging punches.

Both the Archbishop and the enraged father were escorted out of the shopping center by mall security and taken to a medical clinic for treatment.

Whether Welby was under the influence of the dangerous new synthetic drug, "ACC", has yet to be determined.

High on "ACC"?

Carry on,

LSP

It's Bushcraft Wednesday!

The gun is a tool, an important tool in the art of bushcraft, of being able to survive in the wild. Some opt for shotguns because they get the job done and ammo is plentiful and cheap.

With that in mind, we're pleased to present this short training video and hope you find it as useful as we do, here at the Compound.

Shoot straight,

LSP

Chrism Mass

With images in my mind of the Religion of Peace dropping rainbows, flowers and unicorns on the New World Order's capital city, Brussels, I drove to the Metrosprawl for our Chrism Mass.

It was good to be with the faithful priests and bishops of the diocese, even though there wasn't any liturgical dance, or womyn parading about in pointed hats. 

A Typical Scene in the Metrosprawl

That gang of misfits have been suing our diocese for the last 7 or so years because we declared UDI. They even set up an alternate diocese, with our name, as a platform for litigation.

That's not going too well for them and neither is cashflow, which is why they're asking the Episcopal Church for a subsidy of $750,000 to pay their clergy. It seems Texans aren't too keen on their version of church.

But Blue Liturgist isn't fazed. He's busy meditating on higher things, on the floor.

God bless,

LSP

Unholy Tuesday

The religion of peace has attacked Brussels, blowing people up at the city's airport and a subway station. At least 30 were killed and 100 wounded by the Muslim terrorists.

Israel's Prime Minister had this to say:

"The chain of attacks from Paris to San Bernardino to Istanbul, to the Ivory Coast and now to Brussels and the daily attacks in Israel. This is one continuous assault on all of us. In all these cases the terrorists have no resolvable grievances. It’s not as if we could offer them Brussels or Istanbul or California or even the West Bank. That won’t satisfy their grievances because what they seek is our utter destruction and their total domination. Their basic demand is that we should simply disappear. Well, my friends, that’s not going to happen.”

And here's Geert Wilders:

“It is time to act. First of all, we must close our national borders and detain all the jihadists whom we have foolishly allowed to return from Syria. We must also tell people the truth. The cause of all this bloodshed is Islam. We need to de-Islamize the West. That is the only way to safeguard our lives and protect our freedom.”

How could Geert say that? Everyone knows that Islam's like Buddhism, only way more peaceful; tell the people at Brussel's airport. Oh, you can't, they're dead.

Stop the Jihad, and may the souls of the people it's killed rest in peace.,

LSP

Womyn Bishops Are So Awesome

Perhaps you think womyn bishops are really great and awesome. Do you remember Jane Dixon? She was pretty awesome.

And what about the good looking Bishop of Gloucester. Paranormal experts say that diocese is under an ancient curse.

Or Mary Glasspool, another high-flier who broke through the stained glass ceiling. Was she the first ever lesbian bishop?

But don't forget Jefferts Schori, the one womyn bishop to rule them all. How much did the Episcopal Church decline under her overwomynship? By something like 200,000 people on any given Sunday, of which 50,000 left in 2013-14 alone. Good looking out, Schori.

Surely there's some mistake here. Weren't womyn bishops going to make the church relevant again and bring everyone back to church, filling all those empty pews? Well that really happened, didn't it. The Church of England's busy trying the experiment, too. Let's see how well that works out.

Good Luck, CofE

In the meanwhile, over the last 10 years, the Orthodox have been building or opening 1000 churches a year, in Russia. But that's a different story.

Vivat,

LSP

Go Right Ahead, Monkeys. Vote For Hillary

Via ZeroHedge -- The United States has reached a crossing the Rubicon moment: either Hillary Clinton is indicted for knowingly violating statutes regarding State Department security, or the rule of law and the Republic are dead. This is a binary moment: we either let Hillary evade the laws that were established to protect the security of the nation and confess there is no rule of law now for the Oligarchy, or the agencies tasked with defending the nation indict her.

There is no middle ground. If Hillary isn't indicted, the rule of law, i.e. no one is above the law, is dead.

So go on, vote for Hillary, like all the other monkeys.

LSP

Is This Texas?

No, it's somewhere in the North of England.

Kick out the JAMS,

LSP

Palm Sunday Prepper

"I've always been a prepper, because I've always been prepared, but some of these guys are too narrow. Their plan lacks perspective... I turn up at their fort with a canon and I start pounding that compound with hot shot. What then? Yeah, maybe they run out, perhaps they sally forth. I want that, I want them in my kill box." (From An Operator in Texas)

Don't get me wrong, I think it's right to be prepared but some ways make more sense than others, which is how the conversation flowed after Palm Sunday Mass #2.

"So how's the 'community'?"

"You know, there's a lot of people out there prepping for the least likely of all scenarios."

"Like the Hillary campaign getting honest?"

"Yeah, or an asteroid hitting the earth, whatever."

"Or some TAC guy turns up and starts shelling you with a trebuchet."

"Right. They're all concentrating on these never-gonna-happen outcomes."

Until, of course, that they do. But seriously, what's wrong with getting back to basics? Learning, for example, how to hunt, clean and cook your own food? Knowing, if you don't already, how to shoot, or being able to live because you sensibly know how to grow food and had the foresight to ensure that you'd have water if the grid goes down? 

And on. The point being, go off and learn all the AR 15 drills you can, and more power to you; become an ace shot, why not? Stockpile ammo, even, but more importantly, learn basic self-sufficiency. 

There just might come a point when that'll stand you in good stead, and it's a virtue in itself. 

Except, of course, when it comes to God. Then it's just wicked pride.

Prep On,

LSP

Palm Sunday

Listen up, you lot. It's Palm Sunday, time for some religion and none of your freakish liturgical dance Priestess of Baal religion, either:

Today the grace of the Holy Spirit has gathered us together, and taking up the Cross we all say, ‘Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord. Hosanna in the highest!’

He who has heaven as his throne and earth his footstool, the Word and co-eternal Son of God the Father, having come to Bethany, showed his humility today on the colt of a dumb animal. Therefore the children of the Hebrews, holding branches in their hands, sang his praise and cried, ‘Hosanna in the highest! Blessed is he who comes, the King of Israel’.

Let us too, all the new Israel, the Church from the nations, come today and let us cry out, ‘Rejoice greatly, daughter of Sion. Proclaim it, daughter of Jerusalem. For see, your King is coming to you, meek and bringing salvation, and mounted on the colt of an ass, offspring of a beast of burden. Celebrate with the Children. Holding branches in your hands shout his praise, ‘Hosanna in the highest! Blessed is he who comes, the King of Israel’.

Buried with you through Baptism, Christ our God, we have been granted immortal life by your Resurrection, and we sing your praises, crying: Hosanna in the highest! Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord.

Mounted on the throne in heaven, Christ God, and on the foal on earth, you accepted the praise of the Angels and the hymn of the children who cried to you: Blessed are you who come to call back Adam.

Have a blessed Holy Week,

LSP