Friday, January 6, 2017

The Truth is Out There

Stargazing boffins have finally discovered the galaxy responsible for emitting mysterious deep space radio signals, called Fast Radio Bursts (FRB).

The dwarf galaxy, less than 1/1000 the size of our own, is known to astronomers as DNC000, or "Triple Zero" and is responsible for the mysterious FRBs. These require large amounts of energy to be visible, possibly as the result of a "Black Hole."

A Rainbow Colored FRB

"These radio flashes must have enormous amounts of energy to be visible from that distance," said one scientist. "It was like trying to find a needle in a terabyte haystack. It took a lot of algorithmic work to find it but we did and named the galaxy DNC000, or 'Triple Zero' for short. A black hole could have caused them."

Hardworking astronomers were staggered when the enigmatic bursts from DNC Triple Zero were deciphered.


"It was astounding," said Schubi Bannerman at Cornell University, "When we analysed the frequency and repetition of the bursts from Triple Zero, a rainbow pattern became apparent. It was simple but rising in pitch, it seems to say, 'The Russians did it! The Russians did it!', we could hardly believe what we were hearing, it didn't make sense."

While experts are unsure if the bursts from DNC000 have any meaning, some speculate that it's an "alien distress signal."

Space Static

"There's a frenzied urgency to the bursts from Triple Zero," stated one expert, "This leads us to speculate that it's an alien distress signal. Perhaps their planet or galaxy is on the verge of destruction as it's being sucked into a black hole."

Random spaceborne static from a dying star system or the desperate attempt of an alien race to save itself from destruction?

You, the reader, be the judge.



LL said...

I'm sure that Mulder and Skully could figure it out. After all, that's all that the FBI seems to do - that and support the losing candidate even though she's a felon.

Fredd said...

You guys and your ET's. First it was this 'round earth' gobbledegook, now space people. Maybe you should just leave all of this 'the Russians did it' to us reasonable Flat Earthers. We'll get to the bottom of things.

Assuming, of course, we don't have to dig too deep. If we do, we risk falling through the razor thin crust of our planet into the blackness.

LSP said...

The FBI don't seem to have come out of this too well, LL. Anyone would think they were rooting for Hillary.

LSP said...

Fredd, it's definitely a terrifying prospect.

LL said...

And we all know that Hillary is a Space Lizard wearing a human suit.