Sunday, September 20, 2015

Final Proof? Abducted Woman Draws Star Map of Anglican Communion

After years of speculation, proof is in that the Anglican Communion does exist, in the form of a star map, drawn by alien abductee, Betty Hill.

In 1961, Betty and Barney Hill of Portsmouth, New Hampshire, claimed they were abducted by aliens. When questioned, an alien called The Leader showed them a map, revealing the exact position of the Anglican Communion.

The Anglican Communion

Betty Hill reproduced the map under hypnosis, and experts were swift to denounce the drawing as a simplistic rendition of the Zeta Reticuli system. Now, years later, a scientist has reexamined Betty's map, and argues that the unusual alignment of key sun-like stars in the drawing could never have happened by chance, but must, in fact, be the Anglican Communion.

The Zeta Reticuli System

"It can't be Zeta Reticuli," stated the scientist, "It bears no resemblance to any known formation. It has to be the off-worldwide Anglican Communion. There's no way Betty could have drawn this by accident, the statistics are as improbable as the Communion itself."

The Examiner

Before her death in 2004, Betty described her abduction by aliens: "I was taken on board. Barney was taken into one room and I was taken into another. The one who did the testing we called The Examiner, it looked like a bishop figure.

The Compass

"Then they tried to insert a compass-like instrument in my navel which caused pain so they stopped doing it. Barney’s exam was very much like mine in the beginning except they were interested in his 'bone structure.'"

The Fruit

From 1961 to 2004, Betty Hill spent her life attempting to prove the existence of the Anglican Communion. Doubted, scorned and dismissed by skeptics, she may at last be vindicated.

Ad Astra,



Anonymous said...

Hang on! Isn't the map an upside down version of the "Old Grey Whistle Test" logo?

LL said...

Apparently, locating it and getting it are two different things -- if the star map is to be believed.

LSP said...

Now that you say it, Anonymous, it does look a lot like that. Is the Anglican Communion, in fact, the Old Grey Whistle Test?

LSP said...

I'm not sure that Betty's map is true, LL. After all, it was produced under hypnosis, but The Examiner does look a lot like a bishop.

Undergroundpewster said...

There was an Anglican Communion, but it has been slated for demolition by the Vogons to make way for a new two lane intercommunion communicator... oh, didn't you read the notice? It was posted in a closet in Canterbury, behind a hat box, on the top shelf.

LSP said...

That's an interesting take on Justsin Welby's primate's meeting, Pewster.

Anonymous said...

Lampoons aside, the Betty and Barney Hill abduction does raise a number of questions many in the Anglican Communion would prefer to avoid.

1. The on-going discrimination against people who believe in UFOs and claim and seek contact with their occupants. It is clear that certain vocal minorities are given special status whereas those who believe in flying saucers are side-lined and worse still, subject to discrimination by the state. Yet the Anglican Communion does not speak up over this.
2. This can be seen in the shunning of Betty and Barney Hill themselves. They were liberal progressives campaigning for civil rights and yet they have been airbrushed out of history by those who claim that by promoting a gay rights agenda they are the heirs to the civil rights tradition and that the two issues in some way comparable. However, as we know the civil rights was a movement to stop state discrimination and stop the harassing and imprisoning of people, whereas we see the gay rights agenda advocates actively promoting state repression and getting people jailed, fined or sacked over gay marriage.
3. However, most significant of all is the androgynous nature of the beings that the Hills encountered - no distinction in terms of sex and gender. They were concerned with the differences between Betty and Barney and administered a pregnancy test. At least one interpretation of this is that these entities were descendants of modern humans who no longer displayed primary and secondary sexual characteristics having taken equality to the extreme and equalised themselves into non-gendered beings. In the process they sacrificed the ability to reproduce. Consequently, they have travelled to Earth - or travelled back in time - to try and identify what they lost, their actual humanity and the divine differences of creation and try and recover it.
Unlikely, well it makes as much sense as certain radical agendas been pushed on us at the moment.

LSP said...

It's a clear case of discrimination, Anonymous.