Return of the Kentucky Goblin

A strange creature has been terrifying rural Kentucky. Described as humanoid in shape, the small creature has a bulbous white head and staring eyes. Frightened locals call it the "Kentucky Goblin."

While Goblin sightings have been reported in Kentucky since the 1950s, recent appearances indicate that the mysterious being is something more than a myth, and possibly a threat to children. 

According to one resident who has been terrorized by the Goblins:

These beings appear to be the size and stature of a small child, devoid of any facial features save for large, oily eyes and lipless mouths. They frighten my children by peering through their bedroom windows, chirping at one another. They actively attempt to enter my home in the middle of the night. Last month they took my dog.

Artist's Reconstruction of the Goblin Terrorizing a Farm

It is believed that the Kentucky Goblin lives in an abandoned mine, and the only way to get rid of the creature is to destroy the underground structure.

I believe they are coming from an abandoned mine located on the edge of my property. Though I’m armed, I’m afraid that I’m far too frightened to enter the mine by my lonesome, and cannot convince any sympathetic friends to accompany me, though I cannot blame them. I am convinced that the only answer is to collapse the mine.

The Bishop of the Episcopal Diocese of Kentucky, Terry White, is an enthusiastic supporter of gay marriage rituals. 

According to church statistics, the Diocese of Kentucky's Sunday worshiping attendance fell by a whopping 19.2% between 2003 and 2013.

Police have stated that the Goblin is an animal.

LSP

Dove Hunting

Still fortified by a lunchtime bean and brisket burrito from Karen's, I went for an evening dove hunt with GWB.

After a short walkabout in search of the avian acrobats -- there weren't any -- we set up in a treeline and waited. It was good to be out in the clean air and cool (for Texas) breeze, but where were the birds? 

Upgrade Needed

They showed up as it was starting to get dark, in something like three small waves, flying fast. Off went the guns, big excitement, and for me... a miss. GWB brought one down though, right at the end of the shoot. 

Country

So most of those dove lived to fight and fly again another day, not dissimilar to ISIS, after being "attacked" by our airforce for over a year.

Speaking of which, here's a photo of US Foreign Policy.

US Foreign Policy

Hunt on,

LSP

Poppers!

There was a feast of dove poppers last night and that was followed by steak. I count that as a success, unlike Justsin Welby's fish rig, which clearly isn't.

Fail

In other news, a Swedish lesbian bishop figure is taking the cross off one of her Stockholm churches to make Muslims feel more at home.

Dhimmwit

You couldn't make it up if you tried. Well you could, but you don't have to, because it's true.

LSP

Sunday Outlaws

Butch Cassidy in Fort Worth

Before the second Mass of the day I was talking with the MC in the sacristry, "This county has history of lawlessness and banditry. They'd drink, gamble, then shoot each other."

Aquilla. The hotel's gone now.

"I know. My sister's Grandfather-in-Law lived out by Aquilla, raising hell, 'til they hanged his partner and told him him to leave Texas, and not come back. So he went to Montana.

Billy the Kid

"I remember him. He used to sit there, with a wooden spittoon and a 6 gun, right next by."

Willie Nelson

We reflected on that, said our prayers, and worshiped God.

Have a blessed Sunday,

LSP

Obama Foreign Policy Genius

Care Barry Obama and his team of foreign policy geniuses have said that Russia's intervention in Syria will "strengthen ISIS."

How's that? You ask truculently.

By bombing them, of course.

Perhaps our airforce was too busy working on diversity quotas and trans bathrooms to do that, not that it would have helped anyway, because as everyone knows, bombing your enemy into the ground makes them stronger.

LSP

Ride the Horse, Obama Gets Spanked

You  can stare in numb amazement as Putin spanks Care Barry and US Middle Eastern foreign policy unravels like a rotten rope, or you can go for a ride. I chose the latter.

Care Barry

Some horses are hard to catch and you're exhausted before you've even tacked up. This one was easy, gentle, well mannered, no problem at all. But she wasn't used to riding out on her own, away from the herd and the safety of the barn. 

Tack Up

So what to expect. Mutiny? Outright rebellion? Spooky hi-jinx?

Russian Girls Laugh at Care Barry Getting Spanked

I needn't have worried. She moved out well enough and didn't pull any freakish stunts, beyond being a bit herd/barn sour. We ended up in a big field and opened up -- gallop! I had to hold on to my hat. Great fun.

Ride The Horse

Then we rode back as the sun was setting. Beautiful. I tell you, there's a lot worse things to do than ride in Texas.

Get ready to go as fast as you can

Your Friend,

LSP

Laser Eyes

In a serious bid to escape from the atrocious news that we're bombarded with on a daily basis, I took a picture of my laser-eyed dog.

He may or may not have a tennis ball in his mouth.

I'm going riding later.

That is all.

LSP

You Killer

Oregon. What a tragedy. Was Mercer a Muslim? We don't know, but he hated Christians and loved the IRA, strangely.

Mercer's victims, rest in peace.

LSP

Pizza, Pistols, Ammo, in Texas

Look how happy that slice of pizza is! And no wonder, he's got a couple of pistols and some ammo.

I haven't tried their pizza yet. Maybe I should.

Shoot straight,

LSP

Hello Rainbow Clowns, Meet Russia

Russia's intervened in Syria, to bolster Assad and protect its interests. This is America's response, in the words of US Defense Secretary Ashton Carter:

…it’s important to see if we can get the Russians in a position where they are coming to understand the contradiction in the position they now have and the possibility that by seeing a political transition and defeating extremism is something you have to pursue in parallel to succeed in Syria, maybe they could make a constructive contribution. But they’re not on the path to doing that in the way they do — they are acting now.

Got that? Neither do I. Not to be outdone, John Kerry recommended this, at the UN:

military-to-military de-confliction discussion, meeting, conference, whichever … and several options were agreed to be further discussed…we also agreed that it is imperative to find a solution to this conflict… even as we don’t yet have a resolution with respect to some critical choices in that political solution, we think we have some very specific steps that may be able to help lead in the right direction. That needs to be properly explored… And so, we finally agreed we have a lot of work to do.

Russia then proceeded to do this:

You can read some quick analysis here and here, and while you're at it, ask yourself if the most powerful country in the world is being led by a circus crew of rainbow clowns.

LSP

Texas Heritage

I went to the Texas Heritage museum today and liked it a lot. It has:

Flags.

A "D Guard" Bowie Knife.

Crossed Sabers.

Uplifting statues.

Audie Murphy.

And a lot more. No one's thought to airbrush out The Cause, and that's just fine by me. There's a Vietnam exhibit too. In fact, come to think about it, it's pretty much a small war museum. Maybe that says something about Texas.

Train hard, think positive, fight easy.

LSP

Mystery Beast Destroying Oklahoma Cars

At least 8 vehicles have been ripped apart by a mystery beast in Vinita, Oklahoma, with the culprit leaving behind bite marks, blood, and hair.

“There are paw prints, fine, course hairs mixed in all the mangled parts and what look to be bite marks,” said Fred Griffin, the general sales manager at Green Country Ford. “If it could do this to a car, what could it do to a human being?” said one observer.

Local authorities have set a trap to catch the Oklahoma Beast and police have mounted patrols to catch the crazed animal, which might be a dog, or something more sinister; like an Illuminati puppet stooge for the New World Order of gayness.

The Episcopal Diocese of Oklahoma allows gay marriage but deceitfully calls these rituals "Blessing of a Lifelong Covenant." 

The Oklahoma Beast is still at large.

LSP