At least 8 vehicles have been ripped apart by a mystery beast in Vinita, Oklahoma, with the culprit leaving behind bite marks, blood, and hair.
“There are paw prints, fine, course hairs mixed in all the mangled parts and what look to be bite marks,” said Fred Griffin, the general sales manager at Green Country Ford. “If it could do this to a car, what could it do to a human being?” said one observer.
Local authorities have set a trap to catch the Oklahoma Beast and police have mounted patrols to catch the crazed animal, which might be a dog, or something more sinister; like an Illuminati puppet stooge for the New World Order of gayness.
The Episcopal Diocese of Oklahoma allows gay marriage but deceitfully calls these rituals "Blessing of a Lifelong Covenant."
The Oklahoma Beast is still at large.
LSP
