Time Traveler Exposes Grey Aliens!

A mysterious time traveler from 2030 has made the shocking claim that space aliens from another planet are living here on earth.

Wearing a Guy Fawkes mask, the time traveler, named Roman, told Apex TV that the aliens are called Greys and are typically tall, with bad eyesight, high foreheads and receding hair. 

And while some are already living on earth, Roman says more will come in the near future:

As I said, in your time there are already Greys inhabiting Earth, and whenever they see that it is peaceful for them, they decided to come here in multitudes.

At first we thought it was an alien invasion. We thought it was an attack on planet Earth.

While skeptics dismiss Roman's claims,  truth might be stranger than fiction, with Grey aliens hiding in plain sight.

Lambeth Palace declined to comment.

Ad Astra,

LSP

Beyonce Mass Better Than Clown Mass?

Pastor Jude Harmon of the Episcopal Church's Grace Cathedral, San Francisco, got more than he bargained for when he held a special Beyonce worship ritual at the famously LGBTQ church.

Within hours of the special service devoted to praising the popular singer, pundits were comparing the Beyonce ritual to a Clown Mass.

Jude Harmon, Left of Rainbow

"This is no better than a blasphemous Clown Mass," thundered one outraged Anglican clergyperson, who wishes to remain anonymous, "At least Clown Masses are honestly creepy, this isn't and that's scary." Others weren't so sure.

A Clown

"Clown Masses are deeply offensive," stated a senior member of the clergy, "Everyone knows that clowns at the altar are sinister and off-putting. Beyonce may be a member of the Illuminati along with her husband, Jay Z, but she's not repellently unattractive and frightening. Quite unlike a clown."

Several Baptist leaders were quick to point out that Beyonce's fertility goddess performance at the Grammys was idolatrous. At the star studded event, the pop diva superstar dressed up as the Virgin Mary and a Hindu deity, as opposed to a clown, leading some to accuse her of "immoral syncretism."

Beyonce

Unfazed by fierce criticism, Harmon defended his decision to host a Beyonce ritual instead of a Clown Mass at Grace Cathedral.

"I know there are people who will say using Beyoncé is just a cheap way of trying to get people in the church," Harmon said. "Jesus used very provocative images in the stories he would tell to incite people to ask hard questions about their own religious assumptions. He regularly provoked. We're following in the way of Jesus."

Beyonce And Abramovic, Third From Left

Grace Cathedral typically gets 50 people at its Wednesday evening Eucharist, as opposed to 900 for its Beyonce worship ritual. Known for rainbow riding diversity, Grace Cathedral's Pastor, Jude Harmon, opened last year's Pride "with a reflection and meditation on diversity, inclusiveness and religious tolerance."

Not The Virgin Mary

Beyonce was brought up a Methodist, the Episcopal Church was once Christian. Whether the Beyonce praise ceremony at Grace Cathedral, San Francisco, is better or worse than a Clown Mass is something for you to decide.

Don't be shy, be the judge,

LSP

Mass Immigration

Why do our corporate elites support mass immigration from, ahem, developing countries, asks Peyton Farquar at ROK. Good question, and his short answer is "a deadly combo of greed and virtue-signalling."

In brief, mass immigration drives down labor costs and increases consumption while neatly sidestepping infrastructure investment in countries like Angola, Syria or Burkina Faso. Why spend millions building factories there when you can move the workforce here. Bottom line benefit all 'round and handily supported by the Western taxpayer to boot. And it feels good, enter virtue-signalling.

The article concludes with a reflection on the "mind-numbing hypocrisy" of the elites in question:

It is this last reason—virtue-signaling—that most damns our elites. It is one thing to knowingly do great evil. It is entirely another to convince yourself you are good for doing it.

Despite careers spent singing the praises of open-borders, in their personal lives elites distance themselves as much as possible from the diversity they claim to love. The hypocrisy is mind-numbing. By dint of their enormous wealth they will never live in the ghettos, favelas, and no-go zones sprouting across the West. Their children will not attend schools equipped with metal detectors and knife wands. They will never wait in line at 7-Eleven behind a scowling Salvadoran draped in MS-13 tattoos. Most of them will live out their entire lives without ever once having to face, publicly or privately, the odious reality of their treason.

Strong words and you can read the whole thing here. But what happens if the migrants fail to get work, break the welfare state, don't integrate and cause precisely the kind of backlash the multiculturalists are against? 

I'll leave you with a typically alarmist comment from Zerohedge:

Over the next 15 years as socialism dies populations will become tribal. When that happens the blood of immigrants will flow as they are blamed for the collapse...

If and when that point arrives, corporate greed-driven strategy, to say nothing of de facto vote buying on the part of our politicians, will look short-sighted at best.

LSP

May Day!

Well, well, it's May Day, yet again. The Puritans frowned on May Day, go figure, thinking the festivity a a blasphemous, pagan excuse for wanton immorality. And, like red moleskin trousers or the Church of England, it wasn't in the Bible. So they stamped it out along with Christmas and Easter, killjoys.

A Hippy

Still, in fairness to the Puritan sensibility, May Day was doubtless full of unreconstructed, late medieval bawdiness and it never made it back onto the calendar of popular feasts after the overthrow of the wicked regicides. That is until now.

Cheap Red Wine

Hippies have taken over May Day, along with their revolutionary geeknerd cousins, the Communists, and typically don't miss an opportunity to make a nuisance of themselves in otherwise peaceful civic centers. 

A Couple of Commies

The May Day commies throw dialectical materialist duodecimal dice for their NWO rulers and the hippies get loaded on cheap red wine and thieve, it's what they do.

A Typical Bluegill

Here at the Compound things were different. I drove to Clifton to administer Last Rites and followed that up by catching a catfish and a bluegill. 

Aggressive Little Monster

The cat fought hard and at first I thought I'd caught a snag, but no, it was a fierce, aggressive fish. He lived to fight again another day.

Never trust a hippy,

LSP

Ye Gods, I've Caught The Carp!

Unlike Satan, I try to take a day off, on Mondays, and what better way to spend part of that than checking out a new place to fish. It's not hard, put some rods in the bed of the truck, buy some kolaches and strong covfeve and off you go.

I arrived at the top secret Texan objective around Noon, after an intensive bout of front office porch work with the flock all morning, and sized things up. It looked right, smelled right, sage and cedar, and felt right. But would it be right and produce a catch?

Sure enough it did. Right out of the gate fish were tugging and thumping against my complex, scientific lure, a worm on a #6 bait holder allied to a single split-shot weight. Nice and easy does it, and then pull, a fish was on the hook and up came the first of five catfish. Good result.

Remembering that movement is a sign of life, I changed position and gently twitched the almost free floating bait along the bottom, but not for long. Something like Jan Sobieski's Hussars plowed into the hook with the kinetic energy of an ironclad phalanx.

Was it a monster catfish, a Leviathan Bass or something else, perhaps a dolphin? Hard to tell, as the monster of the deep dived, pulled, thrashed and eventually came to the surface. A carp, a huge great carp. Back you go, my friend.

Another even fiercer carp blew up the line again, in just the same spot, and I reeled it in only lose the hook as I brought the beast to land. But so what, we'd battled and one came out the victor. Sorry, carp, you lose this round.

And that was that. Pretty much a fish with every cast and we didn't even have a boat.

Tight lines,

LSP

Beat The Drum

What kind of countryman are you, so-called LSP? All you do is post creepy photos of Barbie dolls dressed up like wimmyn priests.

Hey, I get your dissatisfaction. So to put things straight I put a couple of rods in the pickup and headed for water. Intuition and experience said try the other side of the dam, and that's exactly what happened. 

It was deserted and the river flowed clear. So clear, in fact, that you could see that there weren't any fish apart from a small posse of Carp, guarding the spillway entrance to the once mighty Brazos. Therein lies another tale, but undaunted I set up on the empty grid of the pier and cast off with worms and carp bait.

Within seconds something was tugging at the juicy worm/strawberry dough bait combo. Nice, then out pulled the line  with that steady, mindless-hunger, piscine determination and I snapped the rod up to set the hook. Action! 

Only to pull the hook up through empty water. What was this, a fish without parts that didn't occupy space? No, just a Gar who sensibly dropped the enticing strawberry chummed worm.

Knowing that persistence in the face of adversity is key, I cast off again, expecting nothing but hoping for everything. And there it was, a tug, a dive and fish on in the form of a voracious little Black Drum. I hauled him in.

Next, a decent sized Bluegill; up you come, predator, and back you go to fight again another day. And this little menace was followed by another Drum. Then something big hit the line. 

BOOM. One minute you're waiting there on the pier, looking out over Texas and the fabled Brazos, and the next? Something's charged into the hook like a Trump Train on full loco. Rod double, drag out, fast and furious action. Then up came the fish.

It was a big 'un too, no foolin', and a larger  adversary hit the line at the end of the expedition. Big action from a big fish, which annoyingly snapped the 12Ib test as I brought it up, defeated. 

Then it was time to head back to the Compound, under the light of a shining moon.

Fish on,

LSP

The Sheer Awesomness Of Women Priests

Wherefore, in order that all doubt may be removed regarding a matter of great importance, a matter which pertains to the Church's divine constitution itself, in virtue of my ministry of confirming the brethren (cf. Lk 22:32) I declare that the Church has no authority whatsoever to confer priestly ordination on women and that this judgment is to be definitively held by all the Church's faithful. Ordinatio Sacerdotalis

Are women priests awesome? That's what we've been lead to believe, anything else is simply discriminatory and "weird." Here's Rosie Harper, a UK priestess, arguing in favor of women bishops.

“I would like to take a moment to look at this from the outside in.

“I would like to name the sheer weirdness of a community arguing about discrimination in the 21st century – people out there don’t care enough to be angry but they do dismiss us as weird.

“If we are serious about our mission, and I know this is a very basic point, we really do have to stop being weird.”

Right on, Rosie. If the church is going to get down with mission and fill those achingly empty pews, it'd better get serious about not being weird and consecrate some women. Anything less is an obvious, discriminatory injustice, so much so that society won't take the church seriously.

Leaving aside the knotty issue of the church's interaction with secularist culture, let's focus on discrimination, which is at the heart of the argument. It runs like this: Discrimination is clearly wrong, and not ordaining women as priests and bishops is discrimination, so not ordaining women is wrong. 

And wrong in a big way because, now that we've reached the 21st century, we're really clear about, you know, injustice. So stop being a weird bastion of intolerant discrimination, church, and maybe you'll get some converts. 

Sounds good, right? Stop being an evil discriminator, weirdo. But not so fast, Rosie & Co.

The first bishops and priests were all men, women weren't allowed to fulfill that office, which makes the apostolic setup wrong. In fact it makes it sinful according to Rosie's logic, because it excludes women, which is an obvious evil. And what weirdo put such a  clearly oppressive, wicked, intolerant and unjust system in place? 

That would be Jesus. And if Christ was so blind to such a clear-cut evil, what does that make him? Hardly God. After all, God doesn't sin, but that's exactly what Rosie et al. implicitly accuse Jesus of doing, of setting up a system of ministry that was heinously wrong.  

"If you love me you will keep my commandments," says Jesus. We have to wonder at the quality of the first in the hearts of people who play so fast and loose with the second.

Regardless, ordaining women will apparently make the church less weird and get it on mission. Perhaps that's why the Episcopal Church, and the Church of England have been losing members ever since they tried the experiment.

Or to put it another way, why should disbelievers go to church to have their lack of faith reflected back to them?

Make of this what you will,

LSP

Fish After Mass

One of the many benefits of LSPland is that you can go fishing after Mass, which is what we did, right there on Lake Whitney as the sun was beginning to sink in the large Texan sky.

It was a tranquil scene, no doubt about it, but excitement was in the air as first one then several ferocious Bass surged up out of the water to prey on insects and small, unwary birds. Time to get on the fish, gentlemen.

I tried a variety of lures, a mid size shad, some kind of minnow thing and several topwater torpedoes, to say nothing of worms real and plastic along with delicious strawberry fish treats. But the fish were having none of it.

We weren't catching anything, the anglers to the left and right weren't catching anything and neither was man across the way. And that's just the way it was.

No fish on, we fell back to the Compound for a tasty meal of fried chicken and a celebratory glass of the right stuff in honor of Melania's birthday. 

It's Not Over, Fish. Not by a Long Shot

Would fried fish have been better? Sure, but that's for another day, when the fish are biting.

Your Old Friend,

LSP

Reflections

That is all,

LSP

Citizen Kanye

You don't have to agree with trump but the mob can't make me not love him. We are both dragon energy. He is my brother. I love everyone. I don't agree with everything anyone does. That's what makes us individuals. And we have the right to independent thought. Kanye West

Well done, Kanye, for doing your part to make America great again and fair play Chance, you're doing your part too, along with Joyvilla and other clear thinkers.

Remember, DNC, black people don't have to be Democrats and roll on the black wave. And  while you're at it, what did 8 years of the Magic 0 do for you? Nothing, cubed.

You can support Kanye here, with dragon energy.

Kick out the JAMS,

LSP

Melania Mondays! White Hat Special

America's popular and glamorous First Lady succeeded yet again in dazzling viewers with simple elegance as she welcomed Rothschild toy boy, rainbow Napoleon, NWO puppet Macron and his his weather beaten wife, Brigitte, into the White House.

Melania stunned onlookers with her custom Hervé Pierre white hat. Even CNN had to admit the state visit was Melania's moment. 

Without speaking a word, dressed in a white Michael Kors Collection asymmetrical blazer and skirt -- and an eye-catching, custom-made Hervé Pierre hat -- Melania Trump spoke volumes. This was her house, her dinner and her terms.

Here at Melania Mondays! we've known this all along. Don't cross the First Lady, and if you do, you're a fool. Take note, Vogue, Vanity Fair and all the rest of the lying, corrupt, impure, mendacious, smug, hypocritical mainstream media.

And just to reinforce the point, White Hats rule this town now. Well done Melania, for doing your part to make America great again.

Always MAGA,

LSP