Russians Hack UK Global Warming

In a savage new twist on the War on Weather, Russian bots have hacked UK Global Warming, pounding the Sceptered Isle with a freezing blast of Siberian ice and snow. A storm Brits call the Beast From The East.

A Russian Bot braves the snow in St. James' Park

The Beast has dumped centimeters of snow on the United Kingdom, knocking temperatures down into minus figures and bringing the country to a standstill.

The Beast Rolls In

Shocked Brits reacted to Russia's unprovoked act of climate change aggression by deploying units of the Guards Division and Household Cavalry.

Guards

Some rushed to Tesco's, ASDA and other supermarkets to panic buy milk, bread and similar essentials.

Horse Guards

“It’s snowing here and I’ve just been out to watch the panic buying brigade," stated one person on Twitter, "20 milk and 14 loaves  battling it out in those trolleys like chariots and battering rams."

The Long Retreat From Moscow

Others have been left without heat and power, praying for an end to Climate Change and a return to Global Warming.

A Typical UK Road

"I reduced my carbon footprint but the climate changed anyway," said one stranded panic shopper at the Solihull Sainsbury's, "It's this snow, all I could find was a caramel log."

Panic Buyers

The Beast From The East has joined forces with Moscow backed Winter Storm Emma Watson, promising further disruption to United Kingdom.

Arduus Ad Solem,

LSP

RIP Billy Graham

I know I'm a day late and a dollar short on this, but rest in peace, Billy Graham. Check out Gavin Ashenden on the late evangelist:

The constant dismissal of him as a fundamentalist sets up a hierarchy of assessment based on an admiration of intelligence and sophistication. Those who guarded the study and practice of academic theology in his and our day were aghast and even disgusted by his spiritual and theological values and practice.

They had created a value system which was based on a rationalistic study of theology set in a humanist intellectual and cultural context which looked down on Graham’s evangelism with intense disrespect. The fact that their kind of intellectual snobbery produced adverse results for what became in their hands a dying faith, while his touched increasing numbers in real existential need, was wholly lost on them; obscured by the fog of pride and the heat of hubris.

The fog of pride and the heat of hubris. Well said, you can read the whole thing here.

God bless,

LSP

Prayer Burns Demons

Prayer burns demons? Watch this video to the end and while you're at it, reflect on the fury and hysteria of the Left. What God do they worship?

Russia, freed from decades of Bolshevik Communist oppression, is experiencing a spiritual renewal with thousands of churches and monasteries being rebuilt in a remarkable Christian renaissance. 

A rebirth that our media refuses to report as it shrieks hysterically for confrontation and possibly war with Europe's most Christian country.

Where lies the demon?

Vade Retro,

LSP

Listen Up, Preachers

Check this out, all you sermonizers, a blast from the hallowed halls of academe and DLJ:

Let us face the obvious. You do not get faith in language much beyond the point where you have lost the language of faith. By allowing words whose primary meaning is anchored in Scripture to be de-natured by worldly abuse, we have gotten into a swamp from which there can be no exit without first retracing our steps. We live in a world of babble, what Richard Rorty once called “incommensurable discourse,” a linguistic anarchy which has, contra Rorty, proven insufficiently therapeutic to ward off social calamity. To restore sanity we will need to recognize, as Jewish philosopher Emmanuel Levinas puts it, that in the end there can be no intelligibility without transcendence. A corollary of this axiom is that there can be no sustained morality without ontology, just as there can be no Christian understanding without a diligent and faithful preaching of the Word of God, straight up, no fizz and no ice.

I'd say that was outstanding. You can read the whole thing here. 

Don't say Djinn Fizz.

Your Pal,

LSP

Roving

"It's like Ibiza but, you know, country," I said, dialing up Magic Train of Remove Kebab to maximum volume. It was an Albanian bar in rural Texas and Remove Kebab just seemed right. Everyone agreed. 

"Like this song a lot, 'bout a train with guns. So where you from?"
"From England. I'm a pastor."
"Good to meetcha!"

It turns out we pretty much knew each other thanks to mutual friends and acquaintances, it's a small town; I like that, so much better than living in the plastic-sided splendor of the Metrosprawl. Then, after a quick blast of the perennial classic, Don't Fear The Reaper, I headed for home.

The streets were empty, apart from the occasional cat, slinking across the road and one or two wild dogs. They're a menace and you have to wonder at the genius of the people who abandoned them.

Back at the compound, I reflected on the town and the wisdom of the Baptists and Methodists who helped pioneer it. They cared for people and now their churches are large.

There's a lesson in that.

God bless,

LSP

Don't Fear The Reaper

It's easy to say "Don't Fear The Reaper" as you sit back in the comfort of your happy plastic sided home. But what happens when the mist comes down and the debt's called in?

And you wake up to ghost trees, only to find that the US Dollar is equally illusory and all the ATMs don't work.

Perhaps that will never happen, like the fall of Rome or censorship of the internet. Don't fear the Reaper.

God bless,

LSP

Deluge

Thunder and lightning cracked the sky, shaking the house while  sleet whipped against its weathered wooden walls. That's right, thundersleet, the opening salvo of a Scandanavian death metal band and all at zero dark thirty.

I had to shout at Alexa, Alexa Jones, "ALEXA, TURN OFF WHITE RABBIT." What was the point; you couldn't hear Grace Slick anyway, over the fury of the elements.

One cup of hot tea later, the team was in the rig and advancing to contact through the flooded streets of this once tranquil rural Texan haven. Good thing we had a truck. Then, at an obligatory stop for coffee at the Shamrock Pick 'n Steal, the thundersleet crashed down.

BOOM. It was like a sledgehammer or the Russian guns on the Oder front. But the barrage subsided after an earsplitting frenzy. I reassured the cowering Pick 'n Stealers, stand steady! all the while calmly sipping coffee from a Yeti mug. You can't show fear, it spreads panic.

Then it was back to the Compound through the flood. Armed? Better believe it.

Stormbringer,

LSP

You Millionaire Socialist Hypocrite

How rich is Nancy Pelosi, regular rich or MillSoc (Millionaire Socialist) rich? MillSoc rich of course, with an estimated net worth of $100,643,521, making her the wealthiest woman in Congress.

Perhaps that's why she's campaigning for higher taxes while dodging them on her million dollar mansions. But so what, some pigs are more equal than others; don't say brazen hypocrite.

In the meanwhile, the long march towards serfdom continues but don't be surprised, Beltway Elite, if the peasants revolt.

Your Friend,

LSP

You Killers

Buried beneath the shocking news that Special Counsel Robert Mueller spent millions of dollars to indict the grand total of 13 Russian trolls, was this. The US Senate voted down a bill that would have banned abortions after 20 weeks and the baby's ability to feel pain.

As one blogger noted, a "key lobby that opposed the bill banning the practice was the so-called Catholic lobby - members of the Senate who publicly identify as Catholics and receive political contributions on that basis." You can read the list of so-called Catholic Senators who voted against the Bill here.

You would have thought, regardless of your love of abortion or otherwise, that banning it at a late date, when the baby can feel pain as he or she is killed, makes bipartisan, shared moral values sense. No one, surely, in their right mind is in favor of infanticide.

Unless you're a Catholic in the United States Senate. In the wake of deafening silence from cardinals, bishops and priests, we have to wonder at the catholicity of the US hierarchy. Does it follow Christ or some other thing?

If the latter, be assured of this; the Woman will crush the serpent underfoot and its followers will be relentlessly destroyed by the Holy Spirit and the demon that they worship.

Don't say Moloch,

LSP

Melania Mondays! President's Day

Reeling from the vision of Justin Trudeau's remarkably gay socks, readers are clamoring for something uplifting, which is why we're bringing you another episode in the popular series, Melania Mondays!

Described as "an angel in white," Melania visited victims and medical staff at a Florida hospital, two days after last week's tragic shooting.

Unsurprisingly, people suffering from TDS (Trump Derangement Syndrome) lost no time in blasting America's popular and glamorous First Lady for smiling alongside injured students and their carers, as well as tweeting that "everyone should test the power of kindness."

"Kindness, you seriously must be joking, you took advantage of a school shooting for a photo op. You didn't travel together because he cheated on you but you showed up at the hospital," ripped one unkind TDS victim on Twitter.

Others were even more deranged, accusing Melania's husband of "cheating #AlternativeFacts spewing" and racism.

Hold on, haters, are you living in opposite land? What's wrong with the First Lady and President cheering up people in hospital and encouraging kindness? Get back on your meds and turn that deranged frown upside down.

After visiting the hospital, Melania and the President hosted a party at their Mar-a-Lago resort, where they were photographed sitting together affectionately. 

The lying, corrupt, elite, smug, insinuating, pugnacious, venal, sly, failing mainstream media has consistently claimed that Melania's marriage to Donald Trump is a sham. Perhaps that's why she looks so miserable sitting next to him, except that she doesn't.

Well done Melania for doing your bit to make America great again. Have an outstanding President's Day.

MAGA,

LSP 

Justin Trudeau's Remarkably Gay Socks

 

Canada's winsome Premiere, Justin Trudeau, is rightly renowned for his remarkably gay socks, so it came as no surprise to see him sporting a pair of Darth Vaders in India.

The wacky Vaders came out after Trudeau was left waiting on the tarmac for Indian Prime Minister Modi, who sent an underling to greet the Canadian supremo.

Trudeau, who is an enthusiastic advocate of gay sex, is well known for his his love of Star Wars themed socks, such as the witty "Droid."

Will his playfully gay socks walk back Modi's snub and reverse Canada's status from Gujerat vassal to sovereign nation?

Don't say Vimy Ridge,

LSP

Government Insider Reveals Anglican Warp Technology!

Ex-Pentagon expert, Alan Delgarde, has made astonishing claims about the technology which keeps the Worldwide Anglican Non Communion (WANC) in the air.

According to Delgarde, WANC is still flying because of "energy" and the "ability to warp space-time" and a single, mysterious technology.

"We believe it has to do with a high amount of energy and the ability to warp space-time, not by a lot, but by a little. We do believe all these observables we've been seeing, sudden and extreme acceleration, hypersonic velocities, low observability, trans medium travel, and last but not least, positive lift, anti-gravity – is really the manifestation of a single technology," said Delgarde in an interview with Compound News.

Others aren't convinced: “Are UFOs chasing our jet fighters, as recent secret documents suggest?" opined space boffin, self-described Michio Kaku, “Maybe they are experimental hypersonic drones. Or maybe aliens from outer space? I keep an open mind.”

So what is the Worldwide Anglican Communion, a spacetime warping, anti-gravity vessel from another dimension or just another hypersonic drone?

You be the judge,

LSP