In a savage new twist on the War on Weather, Russian bots have hacked UK Global Warming, pounding the Sceptered Isle with a freezing blast of Siberian ice and snow. A storm Brits call the Beast From The East.
A Russian Bot braves the snow in St. James' Park
The Beast has dumped centimeters of snow on the United Kingdom, knocking temperatures down into minus figures and bringing the country to a standstill.
The Beast Rolls In
Shocked Brits reacted to Russia's unprovoked act of climate change aggression by deploying units of the Guards Division and Household Cavalry.
Guards
Some rushed to Tesco's, ASDA and other supermarkets to panic buy milk, bread and similar essentials.
Horse Guards
“It’s snowing here and I’ve just been out to watch the panic buying brigade," stated one person on Twitter, "20 milk and 14 loaves battling it out in those trolleys like chariots and battering rams."
The Long Retreat From Moscow
Others have been left without heat and power, praying for an end to Climate Change and a return to Global Warming.
A Typical UK Road
"I reduced my carbon footprint but the climate changed anyway," said one stranded panic shopper at the Solihull Sainsbury's, "It's this snow, all I could find was a caramel log."
Panic Buyers
The Beast From The East has joined forces with Moscow backed Winter Storm Emma Watson, promising further disruption to United Kingdom.
Arduus Ad Solem,
LSP
