Wednesday, October 17, 2018

A Helpful Prayer

Here at the Compound we hope you find this version of the Lord's Prayer as helpful as we do:

O, Birther of the Cosmos, focus your light within us -- make it useful
Create your reign of unity now
Your one desire then acts with ours,
As in all light,
So in all forms,

Grant us what we need each day in bread and insight:
Loose the cords of mistakes binding us,
As we release the strands we hold of other's guilt.
Don't let surface things delude us,
But free us from what holds us back.

From you is born all ruling will,
The power and the life to do,
The song that beautifies all,
From age to age it renews.

I affirm this with my whole being.

Beautiful, isn't it. 

Your Old Friend,



Anonymous said...

NPCs are triggered by the word "Lord". Alt+Shift for auto shot gun and then key 1 to switch to grenade launcher.

Adrienne said...

I feel a tingle up my sacral chakra, fer sure, and my third eye is rapidly blinking away tears of joy.

OT, but Michael Moore is hanging with the pope. Another cause for joy...

LL said...

As soon as the unicorn is invoked, white wolves shift into hunting mode.

LSP said...

Anon, that was very helpful.

LSP said...

I saw that, Adrienne, and we have to wonder what those two geniuses will cook up. Who knows, perhaps another helpful version of the Pater Noster.

LSP said...

As I understand it, LL, white wolves are the unicorns' natural predator. Make sure you watch out for the horn.

UK Reader said...

This is shocking.
My first reaction was, “What on earth is LSP talking about here?”
That was my second thought too, followed by, “Is there some subtlety of meaning here, some nuance, I have missed, perhaps?”
But no. I realised you did not write this or make it up. Someone else did.
Someone who presumably meant it to be taken seriously. All you have done here is publicise this text, without comment, placing it beyond its intended audience. But in doing so you have put what was meant as a serious text into the pillory and lampooned it. And you did not think about the consequences on others.
Do you not realise how your posting has caused pain?
Sides are aching. Tears have come uncontrollably into the eyes of grown men and women who have read this. Yet more are bent double, and others are doubtless suffering severe spasms or are rolling about on the floor in undignified displays as I write .. If not actually laughing their heads off, I fear there may also be those who now suffer dislocated or fractured necks. Others may simply have been put off their tea.
All because you have recklessly posted this and exposed them to this material without thinking of the impact.
You have not tried to heal the afflicted. You have not been a doctor to those in need, particularly those who wrote this originally.(“It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick” Mark 3.17) .You have not even provided any doctors to valiantly fight to sew up the sides of those who have been exposed to this.
It must stop. Please, think of the words of the liberal who found the victim of a mugging, beaten up by robbers and lying bleeding in gutter. As he said as he looked upon the victim, “This is absolutely terrible - the people who did this need help".

LSP said...

Dear UK Reader,

I'm sure you didn't mean it, that it was an accident, a careless oversight. But I'm now laughing so hard I can hardly write, much less think. This means I must go on welfare, claim disability and be a burden on the parish.

And yes, you're right, they need treatment. Just look at the first infographic in this unfortunate post. What is it they say about beards? "Nothing so much as a cry for help."

Then there's unicorns. Beware the thudding hooves and goring horn.