Liturgical Dance Will Build Your Church

It's not easy. You want to build your congregation and you know that Liturgical Dance is the way forward. But how do you get there? Simple, sign up for a workshop at Abbey of the Arts. This is what you get, for a mere $375:

"Together we will explore how the healing power of such tools as guided imagery, body awareness, dream work, ritual, poetry, journal writing, visual art, movement, song, and storytelling enrich our own spiritual lives and our work in spiritual direction by giving us access to another language with which to encounter the divine presence within. Participants will develop comfort and skills in using these tools."

Some people think that there's a lot of "dream work" and "story telling" in the church as it is, to say nothing of anything else.

Fascists.

LSP

The Curse of the Diocese of Gloucester

In today's fast-paced, equal opportunities church, there's nothing that breathes the sweet smell of success to a career clergyperson than being promoted to bishop. Well, unless you're unfortunate enough to become the Bishop of Gloucester.

Puritans Rigging up a Curse

That's because the ancient See of Gloucester has been under a curse since Laud, as Dean, dared to set up altar rails, provoking Puritan fury. 

The curse of Gloucester has apparently been active in recent decades. 

Bishop Michael Perham, a noted progleft shill and enthusiastic supporter of women's ordination retired from the troubled diocese after allegations of "indecent assault" against several young women in the 1980s. However, the case against him was dropped after police found no grounds for further action.

Perham's predecessor, Bishop Peter Ball, also had to leave the cursed See in 1993, after admitting to an act of "gross indecency" with a 19 year man. Ball was arrested this November over allegations of sex abuse with 8 boys during the 1980s and early '90s.

So we have to ask, what fortunate member of the Church of England's Talent Pool will get promoted to the poisoned See?

The bets are on.

LSP

Texas Open Carry

When people think of Texas they imagine cowboys, big skies and a Wild West, six gun spirit. Something like this:

"Nearly every man we met with in travelling was armed with a knife, seven-shooter, and double-barrelled shot-gun," stated Brigadier General W.E. Strong, after patrolling Texas with a cavalry force in 1866.

Unsurprisingly, this didn't sit well with the occupying Reconstruction government and Texans were disarmed by the Act to regulate the keeping and bearing of deadly weapons of 1871, leading to the following complaint:

"The police and State guards are armed, and lord it over the land, while the citizen dare not, under heavy pain and penalties, bear arms to defend himself, unless he has reasonable grounds for fearing an unlawful attack on his person, and that such grounds of attack shall be immediate and pressing. The citizen is at the mercy of the policeman and the men of the State Guard, and that too, when these bodies of men embrace in them some of the most lawless and abandoned men in the State, many of whom are adventurers--strangers to the soil--discharged or pardoned criminals..."

Make of that what you will and note that today's ban on openly carrying sidearms in Texas is based on the 1871 Act. Government, it seems, doesn't like to relinquish control over its subjects.

But that looks set to change, with 6 Bills up before Texas' state legislature proposing a repeal of post-Civil War disarmament. Governor Greg Abbott has pledged to sign open carry into law as soon as the relevant bill lands on his desk. Until then, here's Sam Houston, Commander-in-Chief of the Army of Texas, writing in 1835:

"[T]he Dictator required the surrender of the arms of the civic militia, that he might be enabled to establish, on the ruins of the Constitution, a system of policy which would forever enslave the people of Mexico. Zacatecas, unwilling to yield her sovereign rights to the demand, which struck at the root of all liberty, refused to disarm her citizens of their private arms. Ill-fated State! her power, as well as her wealth, aroused the ambition of Santa Anna, and excited his cupidity. Her citizens became the first victims of his cruelty, while her wealth was sacrificed in payment for the butchery of her citizens. The success of the usurper determined him in exacting from the people of Texas submission to the Central form of Government; and, to enforce his plan of despotism, he despatched a military force to invade the Colonies, and exact the arms of the inhabitants. The citizens refused the demand, and the invading force was increased. The question then was, shall we resist oppression and live free, or violate our oaths, and wear a despot's stripes?"

Gun rights,

LSP

Madonna, Illuminati Witch

Fabled pop icon, Madonna, has claimed that celebrity New World Order libs, like Oprah, aren't members of her secret occultist group, the Illuminati.

Of course.

They're not occultists.

Not for a minute.

Unlike Madonna, who is a well-known witch. Here's what she has to say in her new album:

"Teach me how to pray, and we can do drugs, and we can smoke weed, and we can drink whiskey. 'Yeah we can get high, and we can get stoned, and we can sniff glue, and we can do E, and we can drop acid," sings Madonna on her track 'Make the Devil Pray.'"

The Vatican is calling for more Exorcists. For obvious reasons.

Nice grill, Madonna. Vade Retro Satana,

LSP

Dog #2

This dog hates celebrity socialist millionaires and their progleft, Illuminati friends. He hates wimmin bishops, too.

Obviously,

LSP

Dog

I wasn't looking for a dog. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a comsymp dog-hater, I just wasn't looking to get one. But Blue Eschaton thought otherwise. He turned up on the porch and didn't leave; I fed him, perhaps that helped.

The rest is history. I doctored him up and took him to the range, where he hasn't died yet, despite jumping up to catch the bullets. And now he's here; some think he's making his way to Californy, others think he's staying in Texas, where it's safe.

One thing's for sure. Blue Apocalypse loves Christmas, no doubt about it. He even snarls at people who say "Happy Holidays."

I like all of this.

LSP

Putin is Golden, Libby's Not So Hot

Russian strongman, Vladimir Putin, is dumping US Treasuries and buying gold. In the meanwhile, what's been described as "Obama's brilliant strategy to cripple Putin" is in shreds, with the trillion dollar leveraged US shale industry tanking and blood on the streets of Aberdeen, as the UK's oil industry goes Defcon.

So what's up with that? As one commentator put it:

"I'm stacking ammo. Your gold had better be hidden well because all you need to do is read any paper around the globe to know that when the thin veneer of civilization comes off, it's going to get ugly quickly."

Ugly? Quickly? If England's new Boy Bishop and her celebrity millionaire socialist buddy, Desmond Tutu, is anything to go by, we're already there. But please, please, stop hoarding .22LR.

Some of us want to plink.

LSP

Yippee.

There's been around 2000 years of Christian thinking, encompassing some of the greatest minds the world has seen. It's a long list. Then there's Desmond Tutu. Here's what he had to say about women bishops in the Church of England.

Yippee

"Wonderful that you over there will soon have women bishops," wrote Tutu to the Archbishop of York, "Yippee! I know you have pushed for this for a long time. Yippee again!"

Yippee. So it's come to that. After two millennia of Christian thought we arrive at the Nobel Laureate genius of Archbishop Desmond Tutu, celebrity millionaire socialist.

Celebrity Millionaire Socialist

Rumors that Tutu's an apostate, paid-off, NWO mountebank are entirely without the Desmond Tutu foundation.

Grinning All The Way To The Bank

Tutu's speaking fees are available on request.

LSP

Is Putin Still Awesome?

As the cold war of words with Russia turns into a hot financial war, readers have asked if this blog will continue its pro-Putin stance. Good question. Some argue that Russia's strongman is the reincarnation of St. Paul, which is a bold call and I'd hesitate to go that far. 

However, the former KGB Colonel did lock up Pussy Riot. A big plus. He also stands against the USEURO Axis of Gayness. Another big plus, and he's the only major world leader that dares to publicly support Christianity. Some say that's cynical on Putin's part and I don't care if it is. He supports the church and that's good, in my book, regardless of motive. 

But Putin isn't just against the limo-lib, atheist gay agenda, he's also against big taxation. Under his leadership, Russia has a flat tax of 13%; another plus. And let's be honest, he's not a feminized, metrosexual, pink panderer to the progleft's attempt to deconstruct humanity and remake it in the image of Aleister Crowley, Margaret Sanger, or some other Satan. No, Russia's leader shoots, rides, fishes, hunts and loves getting out in the field. He loves his country too.

Here's what he had to say about the current attacks on his Motherland: 

"Maybe our bear should sit quietly, not chasing any piglets around, but just eating honey and berries. Maybe they should just leave him alone? They will not. They are trying to put it on a chain. And as soon as they do it they will tear his teeth and claws out."

I'd say Putin has a point, but would he mistake Obama for a waiter at a dinner party? Who knows. Is he the New Constantine? Perhaps. Is he still awesome? Not if you're Pussy Riot or a libleft pansexualist, obviously. If you're a pro-Christian, small taxation, trad values sportsman, probably yes, he is still awesome. And is it wise for the West and our Mohammedan allies, like Qatar and Saudi Arabia, to fight against Russia?

Memories are short and getting shorter by the day, but let's not forget what attacking Russia did to the Bonapartists and Hitlerites.

No favors at all.

LSP

Pistols at Noon

My philisophical pal, GWB, swung by for a workout on his new Sig and some evening fun. We pooled dove breasts and I cooked up a couple of rabbits that were burning a hole in the freezer. 

Red wine and mushroom stew for the bunnies (they were a bit tough, but the sauce was good) and jalapeno popper-style for the dove. I cleverly managed to avoid breaking one of my few remaining teeth on a bit of shot and all in all, great fun.

Aquinas

After Morning Prayer it was time to go down to the range with dogs and break out some pistols against a couple of silhouettes and steel plates. GWB shot well with his Sig 2022 .9mm, and I had fun with a .38 Special and a .45. Note to self: remember to aim and breathe.

Bonaventure

The dogs had fun too, enjoying themselves chasing around. Blue Deathwish got progressively excited by the pistol fire and would jump up in the air after each shot, as if to catch the bullet. Not-so-smart dog. 

Wittgenstein

And just for fun, I tested out my .17HMR against a small pumpkin and its miniature allies.

Bertrand Russell

The .17HMR is devastating against a small pumpkin. 

In case you wondered.

Keep squeezing the trigger,

LSP

America Scorns Obamas

As hope and change turns to despair and decline for ordinary Americans, the country's First Couple have reported a spate of hostile encounters with the general public.

During one PR trip to Target, Michelle Obama described being disrespected by a shopper, even though she is the First Lady of the most powerful country in the world.

"I tell this story – I mean, even as the first lady – during that wonderfully publicized trip I took to Target, not highly disguised, the only person who came up to me in the store was a woman who asked me to help her take something off a shelf," stated Michelle Obama, who is 5'11".

Michelle also described how her husband, who has had a disastrous slump in popularity, is often mistaken as a waiter. "He was wearing a tuxedo at a black-tie dinner, and somebody asked him to get coffee," Michelle told People magazine. President Obama also told the magazine how he is treated as a valet, after coming out of restaurants.

Chowing Down

Reuters reports that President Obama's approval rating with the public stands at a dismal 37% and according to Pew data, median wealth for lower income American households is less now than it was in the 1980s, dropping from $11,400 in 1983 to $9,300 last year.

There's change we can believe in and well done, millionaire, limo-lib socialists. Rumors that the Obamas drive their own cars or take things down from shelves, themselves, are entirely without foundation. Obviously.

Cheers,

LSP

Church of England Elects First Boy Bishop Since the Middle Ages!

In a surprise move, the Church of England has elected its first Boy Bishop since the Middle Ages.

Rev. Libby Lane, who was a priestess in the Diocese of Chester, has been named as the new Boy Bishop of Stockport, in greater Manchester. After the surprise announcement, the new Boy Bishop said, "So today I pray will not be simply about one woman called up a new ministry in the church but much more than that, an opportunity to acknowledge all that has gone before and to look ahead to what is still to be done."

What beautiful thoughts, Libby!

The Episcopal Church has had Boy Bishops for years.

Good luck, CofE.

LSP