Anglican Instruments of Communion hover over Manchester?

The famous "Anglican Instruments of Communion" may have been caught on camera, hovering mysteriously over Manchester.

The Instruments of Communion have been missing since the 2003 consecration of the most famous gay bishop the world has ever seen, Elton John look-a-like, Gene Robinson. However, a 35 year old photographer zoomed in on the Instruments after feeling a "magnetic pull."

Gene Robinson

"I just got up from the sofa and I felt this pull to take a picture out the window there and then. Something drew me to the window," stated Mr. Hinton, "It was like a magnetic pull - a lunar pull."

While some dismiss the strange sighting as a Chinook helicopter, the photographer disagrees, "I am a rational man. I have never felt that feeling before. With the feeling I had and what it looks like, I don't think it was a Chinook helicopter."

Dobby's Chinos

Hinton went on to describe what experts believe to be the Anglican Communion's missing Instruments of Unity, "I mean the photo shows the lights shining through the clouds. I really don't think it is a reflection - look at the saucer shaped object and the lights and the two lines coming out of the bottom. Just like the Instruments of Communion."

Instruments of Communion

According to witnesses, the hovering Instruments of Communion remained in the sky for half an hour before disappearing.

No sooner seen than gone, have the Anglican Instruments of Communion left Manchester  for earth orbit and ultimately deep space?

Or do they exist in another dimension altogether? 

LSP

General Synod Meets, I Shoot

In a bold move to escape the toxic gas emanating out of the Church of England's General Synod, I went for a shoot. 

Dobby

Unlike the Archbishop of Canterbury's knuanced address to Synod on the state of the Anglican non-communion, which is somehow a Communion even though it is not a Communion, shooting is pretty straightforward.

Good Dog

Line up the sights, breath, squeeze, don't pull, the trigger. The gun fires, the target goes down and Blue Psychonaut barks like a woman Archdeacon that's been told, "No, you can't be a bishop."

Bad Dogs

In other news, a strange glowing object has been seen hovering above Manchester, which may or may not be the notoriously missing Anglican "Instruments of Communion." 

The instruments of Communion?

More on that later; in the meanwhile, don't go to Synod, shoot something instead.

God bless,

LSP

It Snowed. Hotwire.

I woke up as usual to the sound of howling dogs and a crazed peacock; there was snow on the ground. "It's colder now," I thought bitterly, over the din of roosters, "because it's warmer." The animals didn't seem to mind, they obviously don't get "science." So I took Blue Frostbite for a walk in the Climate Disruption.

Then we headed off to Slap Out to see some church people. They were fixing up a hotwire and weren't sure if it was working. In the absence of a voltmeter I gave it the human test. It worked just fine.

Blue Tundra & Friends

Blue Windchill got on well with the other dogs, which was good to see. A little nervous of the horses at first, but he soon calmed down when he understood they weren't about to eat him.

Knuance

There was a new Arabian mare in the pasture, called Knuance, interestingly. Hopefully she's broke to ride but there wasn't time to find out today. Maybe next visit.

Simon & Pistol

You'll notice that Global Warming has been knuanced into Climate Disruption. This is a New World Order scientific theory which says that the hotter it gets the colder it'll be, which is why the Government and its billionaire friends have to take more of your money. The Episcopal Church endorses this commonsensical theory, obviously.

Don't believe them. They're lying.

LSP

Parable of the No Talents

As common sense went off to a far country, he entrusted a small crew of NWO progleft shills with no talents.

The Illuminati dupes went on to write "books" with their no-talents.

All of the no-talent servants of the transnational elite  sold the mystical number of $37,000 worth of "books" in the first week of their publication. 

Commonsense has not yet returned from the far country. When he does there will be a reckoning.

Rumors that Lena Dunham is a Clay Golem are true.

LSP

Obama v. Putin at G20

As ZeroHedge notes, it looks like the cute Koala is trying to get away. And who can blame it?

Animals love Putin.

LSP

Diocesan Convention, Gun Show, Yorkshire Pudding

I drove to Fort Worth today for our Diocesan Convention. It was good to meet up with like-minded clergy and people and I tell you, that's at a premium these days. But this is the Diocese of Fort Worth, so what d'you expect, a gang of gender advocacy clowns? A crew of labyrinth walking priestesses? 

No, none of that. There was a gun show next to the Convention and I went to that too. Uplifting to see all the guns, I always think. One old fellow said, "Father, you're a brave man coming here." I liked him for that and replied, "I love shooting," and that's the truth.

But when I'm not going to Conventions or gun shows, I tend to be searching for the perfect Yorkshire Pudding. I've tried a few recipes with varying degrees of success. Here's one that works for me.

Blend/whisk 4 eggs with 1 1/4 cups of flour and 1 1/2 cups of whole milk and 1/2 teaspoon of salt. Set aside and refrigerate for at least half an hour. Don't cut corners like a lazy soldier.

Preheat oven to 425. Put 1 teaspoon of oil/drippings into each indentation of a muffin tin. Put the tin in the oven until it's smoking hot, like the barrel of your carbine after a good blast at the opposition.

Take the batter out of the fridge. Give it a quick whisk, then use something to ladle it into the muffin tin so that each indentation is appx 3/4 full. It will sizzle. This is good, don't hang around pondering it like some kind of dumbass Buddhist, get the tin filled and back in the oven. Attention to detail.

Let the Yorkshire goodness cook for around 20 minutes at 425 until risen and golden. Do not open the oven like an idiot recruit. The puddings will sink and die. Like the Episcopal Church, or Wendy Davis' useless campaign to take over Texas.

There's other recipes, like the "Three Way Split," in which eggs, flour and milk all go together, 1 cup per ingredient. And many more, which I will try. In the meanwhile, the above works for me.

Some say Yorkshire is God's own County. That would make Texas God's own Country.

LSP

I Love Texas

I love Texas.

Loooozer

It doesn't hold with abortioncrat Wendy.

It didn't turn blue.

It did say yes to open carry, almost.

Maybe Keystone will pass through and make us even more powerful.

Obama? Who is he, anyway,

LSP

Dog & Gun

Have you noticed that lib logic always produces the exact opposite of its intended result? Global Warming's a good case in point: It's hotter now, we're told by our billionaire green overlords, which is why it's colder, and in order to make everyone richer we have to be taxed more. With that in mind, I braved the freezing wind chill and took Blue Mephistopheles to the range. I wanted to achieve two things. To see how Blue Zeke would cope with gunfire and to improve my shooting with the Ruger American .17HMR.

It took a couple of shots to warm up and Blue Rustler found these exciting and fascinating. "I want to chase after the bullets," he thought, cleverly.

Blue Heraclitus was mistaken in thinking this and had to be tied to a steel target frame. This helped the shoot and I was pleased to see the tiny .17 HMR zingers moving at 2550 fps onto the bull. With a steady hand and a slightly higher power scope than I have (perhaps), there's no reason why you can't get groups in pretty much the same hole.

As it is, I was pleased with the shooting and untied Blue BarkaLot for a quick scamper up to the butts. He calmed down after that and enjoyed sniffing about the range when he wasn't watching me shoot swinging steel plates and various bits of debris.

A good morning for dog & gun. And remember, when they tell you things like "a video made them do it," or "it's colder because it's hotter," or "Islam is a religion of peace," or "we have to take your money so you'll be richer," and "we're going to disarm you so you'll be safer," don't believe them.They're lying.

Shoot straight,

LSP

Ebola Horoscope

I'm a Christian and a Padre, or Priest, so it stands to reason that I'm against witchcraft, sorcery, and horoscopes. But sometimes they're weirdly accurate, like this one, divined by the Manhattan Infidel. Here's an excerpt:

Sagittarius (Nov 23 – Dec 21)

Don’t let others talk you into doing something that will tie you down for weeks at a time! Quarantine? Pshaw! Not necessary. You have your own interests like bicycling with your boyfriend. If others get sick you can’t be blamed. You’re a good person remember. And Ebola is not contagious for white people. Look up the science, bitches.

Capricorn (Dec 22 – Jan 20)

A major change of direction is not needed, despite what some people may be telling you. There is no need for you to inconvenience your lifestyle with a quarantine. Sure you vomited on a flight from Liberia to the United States but it was probably just bad airplane food. Besides since when have quarantines ever been effective? Never! All quarantines do is unjustly stigmatize those in quarantined areas. If Republicans weren’t so anti-science they’d understand this.

Aquarius (Jan 21 – Feb 19)

You have been pushing yourself too hard and need to slow down. That fever you’re running is pretty high. And your explosive diarrhea probably left you dehydrated. But don’t worry. It’s not Ebola. It’s probably just a common cold. And America thanks you for your dedicated service in Ebola-ravaged areas of Africa. When you feel better we’ll have a toast to your selflessness. If you can get out of your place try going to heavily populated areas like shopping malls and vomit in public. People have to learn not to be afraid.

You can read the whole thing here.

Arduus Ad Solem,

LSP

Squirrelly

Keen-eyed readers of this so-called blog will know that my pal's "squirrel rig" is a Ruger 10/22 with a fixed power 4x40 scope. My squirrel rig isn't so fancy, just an old JC Higgins bolt action .22, with open sights. It was old when I got it 5 years ago at the Gold Nugget Pawn & Gun and I'd like an upgrade. Probably another bolt action, a Ruger American? And a 10/22, for semi-auto fun? And a lever, too, just because they're neat. Anyway.

Out in the Field

Monday morning seemed like as good a time as any to test the rigs against the squirrels, so we set up in some woods and waited.

Woods

I like listening to the sound of the woods after getting into position and being still, senses tuned. Before long the trees come alive with birds and, hopefully, squirrels. After about 20 minutes we starting calling, or at least my buddy did; I'm not sure if my strangled sounding chirps qualified. 

Creek

The effort didn't go completely unrewarded. Outlying Squirrel Force scouts made an appearance, 4 of them, but they were fast and we didn't get a shot. Still, location confirmed, and we moved on, deeper into the woods till we got to a mighty oak (not the tree in the picture, obv.) that leaned over a creek.

It was good to be there, in silence, knowing that that tree had been there well before the land and Ralph's Creek was even mapped. I kept an eye out for the arboreal adversary and Indian artifacts, but didn't see either. Vultures swooped down on the tops of the trees, just visible through the canopy.

High Flyers

We made our way back to my truck, via a V of migrating Cranes, and I shot my friend's "rig" off the back of my rig. Proper little blaster. I like the Ruger 10/22; just a lot of fun to shoot.

Message to market? Get out in the woods and hunt more.

LSP

Nicki Minaj, New World Order Nazi Witch?

Pop diva superstar, Nicki Minaj, claims she isn't a New World Order Nazi witch, but evidence points in another direction.

NWO

Minaj's recent controversial video, Only, is clearly inspired by National Socialism and Adolf Hitler's Nuremburg rallies. But instead of the German dictator, viewers are presented with what appears to be a cartoon version of the famous singer, indicating that she sees herself as a natural replacement for the Fuhrer.

Roman

Like Hitler, who was a Thule Society occultist, pop icon Minaj also claims to be influenced by paranormal forces, such as her alter-ego, Roman Zolanski. "Roman" and other "alter-egos," appear to act as spirit guides for the chart-topping singer. This has lead some paranormal experts to question the source of Minaj's stellar rise to fame.

Roman & Barbie

"She was just this run-of-the-mill, no-talent ghetto rap act from Queens," stated one supernaturalist, "then she became an NWO, Illuminati witch and made a deal with a couple of demons, like Roman Zolanski. The rest is history."

Possessed.

Is Minaj a New World Order Nazi witch? Or is she the sad victim of demonic possession?

You, the reader, be the judge.

LSP

William Hague, the Talking Tory Egg

Everyone knows that Great Britain was once great, ruled a lot of the world and had an enormous Navy, a Queen Empress and statesmen, like Gladstone, or Churchill. Now it has William Hague, the remarkable Talking Tory Egg.

Look! A Talking Egg!

William Hague can talk and move about, even though he is an egg.

Boss Egg

He is also the Conservative leader of the House of Commons and the first egg to hold that position.

Margarine Demon

William Hague once tried to be a Prime Minister, but England wasn't ready to elect a talking egg as its leader. The U.K. chose Tony instead, who is possessed by a Margarine Demon.

Leave the Girl Alone.

The Hague egg has promised to help Jihad savages returning from Syria if "they have good intentions."

No doubt about it, eggs are pretty smart.

LSP