Spin

There's genius

And there's Genius.

Carry on,

LSP

This is Texas

Yes, Texas in August, where the temperatures rarely raise above the mid 80s and it rains constantly. Not what you expected, eh? No, and neither did we. What does this mean?

Well, obviously, that everyone's wet. Not politically, don't worry, no one's turning into a progleft shill for the New World Order! On the contrary, here on the compounds we're standing tall against all of that. But we do so in the deluge and some say this signifies a victory in the War on Weather, because it's colder.

Wrong. It's a defeat. Climate logic says that the warmer it is the colder it gets, and it's colder here than it should be, so we're obviously making the climate warmer. Settled science. Texans obviously need to pay more climate taxes, then they'll be warmer and richer.

She's no Hater, She's the Attorney General

In similar news, Dallas has said no to Obama's transgenderist school bathroom policy. This means that boys who think they're girls can't use girls bathrooms and vice versa. Does oppression know no bounds?

In the wake of the flood,

LSP

Full Disclosure!

UFO theorists are predicting that US President, Barack Obama, will finally reveal the existence of space aliens, in a last ditch attempt to save his floundering "legacy."

Barack Obama

Seen by many as a millionaire socialist who cares more for golf on the prestigious Martha's Vineyard playground of the super rich than he does for the needs of the people, full alien disclosure could well secure Obama's place in the presidential hall of fame. According to one disclosure expert, Stephen Bassett, revealing the truth about aliens will give Obama a "legacy more profound than the coming of Christ."

Space Alien

“Disclosure is the most profound event in human history," stated Bassett to the UK's Express, "and if you are the head of state that lets it out, the one who brought the Truth to the world, you will leave a legacy more profound that the coming of Christ.

“If you think being Jesus Christ is a big deal, being the Disclosure President is a bigger deal!”

Hillbot

However, the Truth could be closer to home than pundits predict, with Alien replicants hiding in plain sight, in the heart of the Washington establishment itself. "We've known about aliens for a long time," said one DC source on conditions of anonymity, "In fact, they struck a deal with the Government, space tech in return for positions of power.

Groper

"There's at least three. The Hillbot, a kind of teflon hybrid with a cazed lust for power, John Kerry, aka Woodentop, who has the ability to transform himself into a swift boat, and Joe Biden. We call Biden 'Groper.'"

Woodentop

Others aren't convinced. "It's obvious that the Hillbot, Woodentop and Groper aren't space aliens," stated one well-placed source, "They're clearly malfunctioning DAARPA AIs. Just look at the way the Hillbot keeps falling over, and that vacant stare on Woodentop's face, like the lights are on but no one's at home. I won't comment on Groper."

Groper Gets Down

Whether space aliens are alive and well at the highest levels of the US government, or whether America is being run by a series of malfunctioning DAARPA androids is presently unclear. 

The Truth

Will Barack Obama secure his place in history by revealing the truth?

Ex Machina,

LSP

Libs Mock You, Louisiana

While Louisiana hurts, millionaire socialists chowed down in Martha's Vineyard, vacation home of America's progleft ruling elite.

Louisiana Street Scene

Perhaps they did that because they just don't care. After all, why should they, when they're convinced of their own power, entitlement and right to rule. FBI, DOJ, Benghazi, illegal emails, pay-to-play foundationware etc, what difference does it make?

None, apparently, to the Dem agitprop shills in what passes for our media, but apparently lots to the people, who're polling for DJT. Who knows, maybe he's starting to campaign, and consider the optics.

The Campaign Begins?

At least Trump made the effort to get there, unlike the New Versailles Crew (NVC) in the Vineyard. He made it, you didn't, and any way you cut it that doesn't look good. In fact, it looks like you don't give a damn about the Americans you're claiming to represent and quite obviously don't. But how could you, you're NVC Vineyardists. 

A Queen

Let them drink champagne, like all the other socialists. But as you do, remember what happened to the L16. 

A Power Crazed Witch

It didn't go well for him or the unfortunate Antoinette.

Kick out the JAMS,

LSP

Rain and the Rich Reds

It wasn't a complicated plan, far from it. All we had to do was fish, ride and shoot, three eminently achievable objectives in LSPland. But our old enemy, The Weather, had a different idea and it began to rain. That started on Monday and it hasn't stopped, which derailed most of the fishing and all of the riding and shooting. It's no fun to go slogging around in the mud if you don't have to.

A Typical St. Tropez Poolside

In similar news, Leonardo DiCaprio met with his millionaire socialist friends in the well known workers paradise of St. Tropez to save the environment. They were particularly worried about overfishing, which is why the celebrity leftists reportedly dined on whole Sea Bass.

Saving The Environment, One Jet at a Time

DiCaprio raised $40 million for the environment at his St. Tropez celebrity socialist gala. How much of that was offset by the cost of private jets and a chartered Sea Bass fishing fleet is currently unknown. 

Millionaire Socialist Leonardo DiCaprio

Leonardo DiCaprio is famous for getting into trouble with a bear.

Fish On,

LSP

Milwaukee Cook-Off

Trill Ville

Have you noticed the pattern in our urban hellholes? A thug gets shot by a cop and all the other thugs go on a rampage. Baltimore, Ferguson, wherever, and now Milwaukee.

Where ya goin' with that neat hood, Ja'Kiri? Is that an African name?

Good work, Trill Ville. You pulled your stolen gun on a policeman and now you're dead, and what about the neighborhood. That just got worse too. 

Milwaukee Cook Off

But seriously, the Milwaukee spasm seemed especially nasty, with lots of "whites hunted for beatdowns."

Pull our Pants Up

Does that count as hate crime? It sure would, if the Nike was on the other foot. Ask yourself what that'd look like and as you do, reflect on Team Obama's responsibility. Would any of this be happening if that crew weren't encouraging it.

Chortle

I doubt it. And have they done anything to fix the problem, and there is one, aside from sloganeering and a tired, in denial, roll out of the policies that helped create the mess in the first place. Fine, go ahead and call thugs looting on behalf of a dead thug "civil rights." Go ahead and do that, but don't be surprised if no one's fooled, except, perhaps, Al Sharpton's bank manager.

Hmmm. Illuminati

In the meanwhile, I called a pal in Detroit last night, "Have you heard, Milwaukee's cooked-off. Better arm up, fella."

Mind how you go,

LSP

A Miracle!

A miracle has occurred. Our enemy, The Weather, was advancing remorselessly, searing Texas until the heat seemed intrinsic to the landscape itself. Everything was hot. Then clouds rolled in from the West, bringing rain.

And 80 degree weather. "I can handle this," said one Canadian heatstroke victim.

Those of you who live in chilly climates will appreciate the significance of this miracle.

Beat the Heat,

LSP

Adobe, I Scorn You

Adobe used to produce a powerful, if pricey, publishing software solution, InDesign. They still do, it's called InDesign CC. CC stand for Creative Cloud, which gives you a suite of Adobe products online, in the form of "apps." So cool, right? No, not so cool.

Oh, Look at The Nifty New Interface. Yeah, You Have to Rent it.

In the old days you could buy a copy of InDesign and that was it. The thing was yours, you owned it, like a Sovereign. Now, thanks to the freebooting antics of the buccaneers at Adobe, you have to rent it. Yes, you can use the software but you have to pay, per month, for the privilege. And guess what?

The Adobe Demon of Sheer Naked Greed

All the fonts you took for granted in the old you-own-it version of InDesign aren't there. Guess what? You have to rent those too, or download them elsewhere, which works, but still. And are earlier versions of InDesign forwards compatible? Kind of.

Peasants Revolt

So well done, Adobe, for playing your part in the wickedness of turning a once free citizenry into a rentier class, beholden to the naked greed of their Silicon Valley Overlords.

Peasants, revolt.

LSP

Fry 'Em Up!

This site's come under a lot of criticism lately, and why's that? Because I foolishly used frozen, store-bought chips (fries) at the last fish fry. "What kind of LSP are you?!?" commented the shocked punditry, "We expect slices of real potato, fried in lard, and nothing less." OK, I get it, point well made, so to correct the deficiency we went out to the lake and caught some fish, eight fat Bluegill and a small Black Drum.

Clean The Fish

Next step, set up two cleaning stations, yes, two, and fillet those fish like champions. Then later that evening apply beer batter and deep fry until golden brown, but don't forget the chips. Slice up some potatoes and fry them too. Use your memories of fish and chip shops in the UK as a guide, and when the tasty strips of potato look and taste right to chippie standard, take them off the heat, drain, and if necessary keep them warm in the oven while the fish does its thing.

Chips

Serve it all up with tartar sauce (easy to make) and whatever else sounds good, you be the boss of that. After all, it's your choice, not the Government's, not the tasseled loafer Beltway elite's, not the NWO globalist banksters and their Illuminati shills in the media and Hollywood, no, it's up to you. 

A Typical NWO Puppet

Did I use lard? Well, no, vegetable oil was the medium. But look, Rome wasn't built in a day.

Dogs Love a Fish Fry

In other news, the ghost of Lawrence of Arabia has been spotted, or was the "apparition" Tony Blair?

Fish On,

LSP

A Musical Interlude

Here's a soothing musical interlude to help all three readers of this so-called "blog" get through the jaw-dropping consternation of watching the brazen, murderous machinations of the Clinton campaign.

It's called In The Ghetto, by the late great Elvis Presley.

The King Lives,

LSP

Mass in Dallas

Unlike our adversary, the Devil, I'm taking a couple of Sundays off but that doesn't mean you don't go to Mass, far from it. So I roused the slumbering team, ironed a shirt and headed out to the local RC church in Dallas. Why there? Because it was around the corner and I wanted to check it out.

St. Cecilia's was set-up as a Swedish congregation back in the day and was an interesting church, with an attractively painted Sanctuary and Stations of the Cross. I know this because I went to Mass there years ago and was surprised at the European aspect of the place. Then it burned down and they built a new church, modern basilica style, sort of thing.

As it Was

It's an airy space, all tones of white with beige brick and an arresting brass tabernacle up against the east wall behind the small freestanding altar. But what was the Mass like? Just what you'd expect. A high-pitched woman cantorite banged away on an amplified piano and led the congregation in song. Not that anyone sang, because the setting was unsingable. You know the tune, you hear it burbling away in the background at retreat center bookshops.

Wrecking Crew

The liturgy was standard too. The Priest sat off to the side of the tabernacle in an outsize chair, or "throne," accompanied by an elderly Deacon and a youth in a cassock alb who held the Missal for the Celebrant. He moved to the altar at the Offertory and took it from there. All well and good and, like the music, exactly what you'd expect. Reverent enough, no clowns, no dancing, but not really liturgical either. Move from the Chair to the Altar, and there you have the stunning simplicity of liturgical reform. Well done, experts of the 1970s, for doing your part to destroy over a thousand years of worshiping tradition. 

A Catholic Mass

Still, I shouldn't complain, the Mass was said, the church was full, the people were faithful and the team left St. Cecilia's edified and uplifted by Word and Sacrament at this onetime outpost of Sweden in Dallas.

God bless,

LSP

Exploring McCommas Bluff

Not many people know that Dallas is home to America's largest urban hardwood forest, some 6000 acres of thick woodland and brush on either side of the meandering Trinity river. There's a number of access points in South East Dallas and we chose McCommas Bluff, clambering down the limestone, rods in hand.

There, on the banks of the Trinity, it's almost as though the city didn't exist and time had stood still since the area was first mapped. It hasn't, of course, and you have to ignore the occasional bit of trash left behind by poachers, fishermen and badly behaved canoe artists. That aside, it's pretty unspoiled and you get the sense of the mighty, mysterious forest weighing in on you from the opposite bank.

We cast off into midstream, hoping to lure some prehistorically large fish that were surging out of the water in search of dragonflies and wasps. But the fish weren't having it, best efforts of Tiny Torpedoes notwithstanding, so the team headed for home before everyone melted in the triple digit chill.

I'd say there's good fishing to be had at McCommas if you get there at the right time with the right bait. Word to the wise, if you're fixing to explore the bluffs, consider taking a gun. No fooling.

In other news, a crazed Muslim went machete Jihad in Belgium, shouting Alahu Akbar as he hacked at a policewomen. Authorities are desperately searching for a motive because it obviously didn't have anything to do with Islam.

God bless,

LSP