Bonking at General Convention

So what's it like at TEC's General Convention? According to today's House of Deputies News:

"When you walk through the main entrance to the Salt Palace convention center you might be startled by a wooden bonking sound."

The "bonking sound" is caused by "wind chimes," apparently.

I won't comment.

In other news, guns are "prohibited" at GC15. Good thing I left all mine at home then, isn't it.

Shoot straight,

LSP

Go On, Fly To Salt Lake City -- GenCon15

I packed my bags, put on a blazer, and flew to Salt Lake City. So why'd you do that, LSP? You ask wonderingly Just for kicks? No, although SLC is a neat little mountain town with an interesting light rail system and a weirdly utopian air. 

Typical SLC Supermarket

No, I'm not here for that, I am here to help cover the Episcopal Church's General Convention. They'll be electing a new Presiding Bishop, discussing ways to "restructure" (downsize) their failing operation, and, of course, approve gay marriage rituals without having to change the heterosexist Prayer Book.

Room with a View

There's some other cool stuff too, like fighting "extremism" (Jihad) by fighting The Weather and funding LGBT advocacy in Africa. But more of that anon.

So stay tuned.

LSP

The Illuminati Are Great And Powerful?

I frequently get begging letters from the Illuminati, asking me to join their not-so-secret-anymore society and get wealth, power, fame and success. Like Jay Z, or Beyonce.

Minaj

Here's an example:

Are you not tired of poverty?Why

your mate are enjoying life.

Did you want to be rich and

have famous. Come and join

the brotherhood member

today now. Once you join us, we

are going to buy you one

dapples in any country you

wish to stay with a new car

and you will also be receiving

$250,000 dollars per week.. We

are going to turn your life with

different kind of things you wish

in your life. Do you

want to promote your

business? We can help you by

bringing you more customer

into your business. Are you a

musician? did you want

to be at the top in the world, like

LIL WAYNE, RICK ROSS, JAY Z,

SEAN PAUL, LUDACRIR..we can

make you rich like these men.

If you are in need of joining the

brotherhood, Email us

now: {powerfulilluminati@yahoo.com}

you can easily contact us now:

+2348144368825. we are waiting for your reply

Jay Z

The benefits of joining the Illuminati are more specifically listed as:

A Cash Reward of USD $300,000 USD

A New Sleek Dream CAR valued at USD $120,000 USD

A Dream House bought in the country of your own choice

One Month holiday (fully paid) to your dream tourist destination.

One year Golf Membership package

A V.I.P treatment in all Airports in the World

A total Lifestyle change

Access to Bohemian Grove

Monthly payment of $1,000,000 USD into your bank account every month as a member

One Month booked Appointment with Top 5 world Leaders and Top 5 Celebrities in the World.

Real Smart

I'm not saying that Jay Z wrote these letters, he may not have; perhaps it's Kanye, or Nicki Minaj. We just don't know. In the meanwhile...

Kick out the Jams,

LSP

Summer Solstice Hi-Jinx

It's the Summer Solstice, or Litha, when hippies like nothing better than to go to an ancient stone circle, goof about, get brewed up and rip each other off. Some get all mysticke and worship the Sun gods.

Here's a sample ritual:

Gods who bring us light, we honor you!

Hail, Ra, whose mighty chariot brings us light each morning!

Hail, Ra!

Hail, Apollo, who brings us the healing energies of the sun!

Hail, Apollo!

Hail, Saule, whose fertility blooms as the sun gains in strength!

Hail, Saule!

Hail, Helios, whose great steeds race the flames across the sky!

Hail, Helios!

Hail, Hestia, whose sacred flame lights our way in the darkness!

Hail, Hestia!

Hail, Sunna, who is sister of the moon, and bringer of light!

Hail, Sunna!

We call upon you today, thanking you for your blessings, accepting your gifts. We draw upon your strength, your energy, your healing light, and your life giving power! Hail to you, mighty gods and goddesses of the sun!

Just a bit of harmless tomfoolery, right? 

Remember this. It's all fun and games until you wake up and find a demon gnawing on your elbow.

Your Pal,

LSP

I Went For A Shoot

I took a couple of ARs out for a spin today with one of the team. It was raining, which is Texas' new normal, but that didn't stop us putting rounds down range. It was good to hear the sound of the guns cracking out across the countryside.

So that was a good shoot, unlike the one in Charleston. Some say that the killer is satanic and I think, for what it's worth, that if he isn't he might as well be. The relatives of the victims, on the other hand, are clearly Christian.

It's no small thing to say you forgive the person who killed people you love.

God bless,

LSP

The City of Brass

And the heart of a beast in the place of a man’s heart was given

From the City of Brass

They unwound and flung from them with rage, as a rag that defiled them
The imperial gains of the age which their forefathers piled them.
They ran panting in haste to lay waste and embitter for ever
The wellsprings of Wisdom and Strength which are Faith and Endeavour.
They nosed out and digged up and dragged forth and exposed to derision
All doctrine of purpose and worth and restraint and prevision:
And it ceased, and God granted them all things for which they had striven,
And the heart of a beast in the place of a man’s heart was given...

You can read the whole thing here, if you like. Kipling was writing about the Empire on which the sun never set, some think he's relevant today.

Kizmet,

LSP

Storm Clouds

I went to Walmart to conduct some business, and by the time I left storm clouds had rolled in, like a metaphor for Western culture itself.

Perhaps you remember the lyrics of a '70s pop song, "Your future dream is a shopping scheme"? For "shopping scheme" read "strip mall," and it looks as though those are about to get washed away in the flood of peak retail meets static and declining wages, monster debt and the voracious maw of Big Government. I guess they'll be replaced by Dollar Stores, tire shops and Quinceanera vendors.

But maybe that's OK, maybe a society that's lost touch with reality, to the extent that it thinks gender is a mental construct, can go on forever until it rests in a golden trans utopia of frolicking rainbow unicorns. Who knows, perhaps a culture that actively encourages and subsidizes killing children in the womb, to the tune of $1 million a day, won't somehow commit demographic suicide.

Then again, others believe that as it was in days of Belshazzar, the writing's on the wall.

Mene, Mene,

LSP

Snake Boots

Thanks to Tropical Storm Bill, Texas is underwater, so wearing the right kind of boots is important. Here's LL's advice, via Virtual Mirage:

LSP: All of those boots look pretty neat, but which ones are the most waterproof? Most of the state is underwater now, so it's worth considering.

LL: And snake proof. I'm sure that it's a water moccasin's and cottonmouth's picnic out there as they're swimming between the homes. Wear the sandal boots and roll the dice...

Typical Sandal Boots

One of the church people here shot 20 snakes the other day at one of his tanks. I do not know if he was wearing sandal boots or not.

Your Friend,

LSP

Tropical Storm Bill 2015

The War on Weather took a savage new twist, as Tropical Storm Bill blew into North Central Texas from the Gulf.  As much as 12" of rain are predicted to fall today on several already waterlogged communities in the Lone Star State, threatening to overwhelm local infrastructure  and the renowned Alamo spirit of the population.

Storm Chaser

Here in Hill County, situated between Dallas and Waco on what some call the "I35 corridor of desolation," resources are at breaking point, as streets flood and high winds rip through once prosperous farming communities.

Ruin

"If only we'd have gone and paid the Carbon Tax!" stated one devastated resident, as she surveyed her home, "I thought climate disruption was just a money grabbing scam, cooked up by New World Order shills in Big Government, and their transnational Illuminati puppet masters. Now everything I left outside is wet, because of rain. This is a war."

Typical Texas Storm

Will the Brazos overflow its banks and turn Waco into Little Venice? Will Dallas become a city of islands, clinging to high ground as the waters rise? Or will Texas finally come to its senses and confront the greatest threat this nation has ever faced, The Weather, and pay the tax.

Prepared. Note Fishing Rods

This, as with Bill itself, remains to be seen.

From the eye of the storm,

LSP

Steak Thief

I grilled up some steaks last night; they were very tasty. My dog thought so, too.

I wasn't very happy about that, unlike Blue Steak Thief, who was.

That is all.

LSP

Now We're Getting Serious

It was sunny yesterday afternoon, and Blue Metaphysic took the opportunity to roll about on the ground while reflecting on the evils of Bogomil Catharism. 

Catharism

Then clouds rolled in from the South and it began to rain, and thunder and lightning. Blue Epistemology took it all in his stride and fell asleep. I stood on the front porch and watched the rain.

Liturgist

It was a good moment, unlike Catharism and 1970s liturgical reform, which were bad moments.

God bless,

LSP