Monday, June 22, 2015

The Illuminati Are Great And Powerful?

I frequently get begging letters from the Illuminati, asking me to join their not-so-secret-anymore society and get wealth, power, fame and success. Like Jay Z, or Beyonce.


Here's an example:

Are you not tired of poverty?Why
your mate are enjoying life.
Did you want to be rich and
have famous. Come and join
the brotherhood member
today now. Once you join us, we
are going to buy you one
dapples in any country you
wish to stay with a new car
and you will also be receiving
$250,000 dollars per week.. We
are going to turn your life with
different kind of things you wish
in your life. Do you
want to promote your
business? We can help you by
bringing you more customer
into your business. Are you a
musician? did you want
to be at the top in the world, like
make you rich like these men.
If you are in need of joining the
brotherhood, Email us
now: {}
you can easily contact us now:
+2348144368825. we are waiting for your reply

Jay Z

The benefits of joining the Illuminati are more specifically listed as:

A Cash Reward of USD $300,000 USD
A New Sleek Dream CAR valued at USD $120,000 USD
A Dream House bought in the country of your own choice
One Month holiday (fully paid) to your dream tourist destination.
One year Golf Membership package
A V.I.P treatment in all Airports in the World
A total Lifestyle change
Access to Bohemian Grove
Monthly payment of $1,000,000 USD into your bank account every month as a member
One Month booked Appointment with Top 5 world Leaders and Top 5 Celebrities in the World.

Real Smart

I'm not saying that Jay Z wrote these letters, he may not have; perhaps it's Kanye, or Nicki Minaj. We just don't know. In the meanwhile...

Kick out the Jams,



LL said...

If I was able to rap effectively, they might embrace me. I could never come up with something like this:

Asap Rocky

Bloody ink on my pad spelled suicide
Michael Jackson even passed cause you scrutinized
Fuck illuminati lies, say I'm lucified
Baptised in the gutter, motherfucker you decide
Cause the ride come with doors that be suicide?
Or the thighs on my whores, they be super-sized?
Good and bad happen, wars, nigga chose a side
Now all hail to the Lord like you do to God
Who am I? Lord Flacko
Painting vivid pictures, call me Basquiat Picasso
Capo Head Hancho, now my following's colossal
Ain't no boxer, Pacquiao, but got the chopper todo caso
It's like you heard, God spoke
I've seen the ghetto gospel
The fire like my reefer and the preacher got my eyes low
Sister Mary Jane to make me see from singing high notes
The bible or the rifle... goodnight folks

Writing that sort of thing takes a level of commitment to Satan that i simply can't manage.

Infidel de Manahatta said...

I tried to join the iluminati. Apparently I don't meet their standards.

LSP said...

I've managed to resist the begging letters, LL...

LSP said...

I'm surprised, Infidel. I'm always getting invitations to join.

Derek said...

If you are interested in joining the brotherhood and you want your dreams to come through, then
you have the chance to do that, join the illuminati today to get $2500 every 3 days and $1000000
monthly membership blessing for doing what you love to do best. Contact today to change your life for the better,We holds the world.