William Hague, the Talking Tory Egg

Everyone knows that Great Britain was once great, ruled a lot of the world and had an enormous Navy, a Queen Empress and statesmen, like Gladstone, or Churchill. Now it has William Hague, the remarkable Talking Tory Egg.

Look! A Talking Egg!

William Hague can talk and move about, even though he is an egg.

Boss Egg

He is also the Conservative leader of the House of Commons and the first egg to hold that position.

Margarine Demon

William Hague once tried to be a Prime Minister, but England wasn't ready to elect a talking egg as its leader. The U.K. chose Tony instead, who is possessed by a Margarine Demon.

Leave the Girl Alone.

The Hague egg has promised to help Jihad savages returning from Syria if "they have good intentions."

No doubt about it, eggs are pretty smart.

LSP

Veterans Day, 2014

I spent Veteran's Day in Dallas, of all places. It was freezing, which put me in mind of the Russian Front. Speaking of which, here's an interesting Hitler video (via LL), in which the mad dictator, shaking with Parkinson's, consigns failed Democrats to Texas.

My dog, Blue Apocalypse, is gnawing on a rawhide bone.

Respect the Vets,

LSP

Cooking With Kershaw

My pal's "squirrel rig" consists of a Ruger 10/22, an inexpensive fixed power 4x40 scope and a sling. He dialed it in yesterday evening while I plinked about with a Marlin bolt action .22; good fun, though I wasn't very impressed by my marksmanship with the Marlin 981T. 

Stir the Veg

After that we fell back to the compound for a simple meal of bread and cheese, chicken pot pie and Yorkshire pudding. My $10 (thanks Walmart) Kershaw folder did fierce work on an onion and some carrots.

Open the Wine

Came in handy too when it was time to open up a bottle of Duck Commander, which is a novelty wine you can buy at Walmart. It tasted alright.

Chuck it in the oven

Didn't hurt the pastry either.

Well done, Kershaw, for helping out with the meal! And let's see how the "squirrel rig" performs in action. I predict success.

Cheers,

LSP

Canon Rosie Harper Caught on Camera?

Eerie footage of what appears to be a female Babylonian demon may in fact be a senior clergyperson in the Church of England, Canon Rosie Harper.

Lamashtu?

Photos reveal a malignant creature terrorizing a female patient in hospital, leading some experts to speculate that the Babylonian woman demon, Lamashtu, had finally been caught on film. According to one commentator, “This picture was taken of a nurse’s viewing monitor. On the monitor, this black figure appeared standing on top of the patient who was lying in the bed. The patient died within a few hours of this figure appearing.”

Rosie?

Others were less sensational. "It looks a lot like the Babylonian demon Lamashtu," stated a paranormal expert, "but it's just Canon Rosie Harper, messing about with a sick patient, the Church of England."

Lamashtu?

Does this startling photograph of a female demon reveal the evil Lamashtu? Or is it just a senior woman priest in the Church of England, Canon Rosie Harper?

You, the reader, be the judge.

LSP

Buccolic Idyll

Sometimes what I like to do when I'm taking Blue Ebeneezer for a morning stroll is take pictures of houses. 

Thanks a Lot

As you can see, all is well in our merry little slice of rural paradise, and that's the good part of town.

Demoncratz

Blue Obadiah lays the blame squarely on the shoulders of the limo-lib Illuminati elite who run this country. He hates them and won't listen to "nuance" and "reason." These, he snarls, are, "New York Times degenerate." Smart dog.

Good Dog

In other news, it appears Obama didn't bother to consult the Pentagon before attacking ISIS. Way to go, Commander-in-Chief. Obviously he takes this operation seriously.

Bad Dog

And a terror attack by Methodists, sorry! Muslims, to stab the Queen was stopped by U.K. police. Weird, eh? Like totally out of leftfield.

Ride on,

LSP

Anglican Church of Canada, Run by Dead Space Alien?

Recent evidence suggests that the Anglican Church of Canada (ACoC) isn't controlled by human beings but by the spirit of a dead alien space creature.

Wrong

Proof emerged in Gosford, where Archdeacon Rod Bower is campaigning for radical Islam and the subjugation of women.

Right

Good call, Rod, and it's all fun and games until you wake up and find ISIS has chopped your buddy's head off.

Please, Canadians, put the brakes on the spaceship. And thanks, Samizdat.

LSP 

I Name This Dog

It's not every day that a Blue Heeler tips up on your porch and makes it his home for a couple of days. What can you do? You can ignore him and/or send him to animal jail or you can reward his loyalty by taking him in. That's what I did, and he's gnawing on a pig's ear this very moment.

Good Dog

But that's all very well. What should I call this beast? I wasn't sure, so I appealed to the readership and got a lot of help and some great names.

Bad Dog

In the end I went for Blue. Thanks LL, but that's just a first name; I have a good mind to cycle through the other names as the mood suits. Blue Banjo one day, Blue Rustler the next and so on. When he's been bad? Blue Welby springs to mind, or simply "Justin."

In other news, a church person just donated some tamales to the cause. I'm all for that.

Cheers,

LSP

Open Carry Texas

Now that Demoncrat Wendy's been trashed at the polls, Greg Abbott's stepped up to the plate and announced he'll sign-off on an open carry bill as soon as it hits his desk. What! You're thinking, Texas isn't an open carry state? Not really, you can carry rifles but not handguns. That looks set to change.

And it's not just men, a lot of women support open carry. After all, who knows what you might meet.

At Target.

The diner.

Or even San Antonio.

Let's leave Austin out of this, but I reckon being armed would be useful there too.

Well done, Greg. Let's see that bill.

LSP

This Dog Hunts Democrats

The thing about Blue Heelers is that they're a Collie/Dingo cross. Mine hates libs. A lot. Smart dog.

His first name is Blue.

That much is decided.

LSP

Pathetic Millionaire Socialist Losers

A lot of Demoncratz lost in yesterday's historic beating. Like Wendy Davis who was steamrolled in Texas and Hillary Clinton, who was given a pounding by proxy as the libs she campaigned for lost, one after another.

Seems like the mastermind behind Benghazi isn't such a good endorsement at the polls. What difference does it make? Apparently enough to make the poverty-stricken millionaire socialist an electoral liability.

My verdict, for what it's worth, is that this country's sick of being lied to by a gang of fantastically rich, prog-left elite who, at the end of a very long day, have failed to deliver. People are poorer now, unless you're one of the very, very few, than when this current crew of clowns arrived in office. 

Healthcare's a case in point. Thanks to the benign socialism of Obama, poor people now get fined for not buying the healthcare they can't afford anyway. And insurance company CEOs fly private jets, their stock's soaring. People know this and they're beginning to get sick of it. We saw that yesterday.

Let's see if the GOP can do any better and if not, maybe the people have enough courage of their convictions to sort it out.

And let's have prayer back in school, that'd be a beginning.

For the people, by the people.

God bless,

LSP

Steamrolled

Presented without comment.

LSP

Demoncrat Wendy Gets the Smackdown

Out Demon, Out!

Wendy Davis, Vogue cover-girl and all-round Demoncrat abortion barbie, has been given the smackdown, losing heavily in her satanic bid to take control of Texas.

Looking Good, Loser

Well done, Wendy. You fail.

LSP