The Russians Did It! Or, The Stupidest Guff You Ever Heard in Your Life

The Democrats can't seem to get over the fact that the worst candidate they ever ran for President in history since Julius Streicher  the highly qualified, competent, experienced and polished Hillary Clinton didn't win the election.

There it was, drip, drip, drip, a daily diet of DNC inner-circle emails, damning the Democratic Party rulers for an unsavory, scheming, bi-coastal millionaire socialist elitocracy that didn't give a damn about anything other than power. Those emails, Hillary just couldn't get away from them. 

Then out popped the Weiner days before the election, and the FBI had to do something. They still are, in fact. Well, it didn't look good and the country noticed; sorry, Hillary, we're not voting for you, you're too freakishly deceitful and corrupt. 

And you have this terrible voice, and you're sick, and John Podesta worships Satan. And by the way, you and your globalist millionaire socialist pals have given all our jobs to Asia.

So she  lost but it wasn't her fault, it couldn't be, she's so awesome! And the scapegoat factory went into overdrive. Who to choose? Putin, of course, the nationalist nemesis, who may be a millionaire but he's not a socialist player in the mega rich New World Order elitocracy. It's his fault. Boom. Russian hackers did it, they stole the election from the most brilliantly qualified candidate ever.

If you believe that, you're even stupider than you look. Go on, ask Keith Olberman.

Sorry Libs. You misread America and you lost, you lost hard.

Gun Rights,

LSP

Putin And The Faith

There's a strange blindness in conservative Christian circles when it comes to Russian strongman and former KGB Colonel, Vladimir Putin. For example, I was talking with a political philosopher who I'd heard had given an excellent talk on exercising political power while remaining a Christian. No easy feat. "Who did you use as examples?" I asked, "The Emperor Constantine and Putin?" Shocked silence. "No, I didn't use either of them as examples. Is Putin a Christian?!?"

Well That's Not Christian

If being baptized, attending the Eucharist, asking for the intercession of the Saints, professing the Creeds and promoting the Church makes you a Christian, well, count Putin in. Seriously, the Church in Russia is active, strong and a part of society in a way not seen since before the Bolshevik revolution. 

How Very Unchristian

Something like 1000 churches have been built in Russia every year for the last decade and Orthodoxy is established across the spectrum of the state - in schools, the military, law enforcement and government itself. All this under the political aegis of Vladimir Putin. If he's not a Christian he certainly does a good job of hiding it. In America, by contrast, Christianity is banned from public schools and increasingly pushed out of the public square. Bake that cake, God Freaks, or we'll sue you and your business into the ground, with the not so tacit approval of the Supreme Court.

Look! Three Atheists!

But what about politics? Perhaps Putin's exercise of temporal power negates his apparent Orthodoxy? Like the way he's a nationalist who puts his country first, or legislates in favor of Christian values, like, how weird, heterosexual marriage. And, when a crew of Lena Dunham fans blaspheme in a Cathedral they get locked up. How very unchristian, except that it's not.

Oh no. A Secular Humanist.

Then again, maybe positioning yourself as an autocrat, like a King or a Tsar, is unchristian, which would put the Russian leader at something of a disadvantage when it comes to Christian governance. Right, classical liberal 18th century parliamentary democracy is mandated by Sacred Scripture and Apostolic tradition, said the Christian Monarchs of the Christian centuries never.

Well That's Not Christian

So why the animosity and shock when it comes to Putin? Because he's not a Westphalian product of the Enlightment so much as the son of Holy Mother Russia? Because he actually legislates in favor of the Church as though it was an objective good, as opposed to a subjective affair of the mind? Or maybe because he's Russian, and therefore an enemy communist threat, albeit subconciously, in the American conservative psyche. 

A Typical Scene of Putin Being Unchristian, at the Holy Sepulchre

But look, the Red menace is over. In fact, America's far more red than Russia at the present moment. So get over it, conservatives, unless in reality you've gone socsymp and see conservative, populist, Christian nationalism as a threat. In which case stop pretending to be something you're not.

I'd argue that Christian conservatives share more than a few basic values with Putin and should ally themselves with him and Russia against the common enemy. That would be Islam and its curious friend, aggressive, millionaire socialist, NWO globalism.

Mind how you go,

LSP

War Drums

Have you noticed how every time Wikileaks dumps a thousand or so email revelations on Team Clinton, and it's daily, the war drums pound louder?

Like, how dare they expose us for being corrupt pay-to-play Saudi Arabian proxies. Even Great Britain's fabled RAF (who knew there still was one) is getting in on the act, with pilots being given the green light to shoot down Russian planes. And on, and on.

Senator Kerry

Really? We're getting ready to go to war with Russia in order to protect our allies Saudi Arabia, Qatar, the UAE, ISIS and Al Queda? So that Candidate Hillzebub Clinton can preside in satanic majesty over a radioactive wasteland?

Recall the flies. The spirits of the pit do not think as the living.

Hillzebub! Hillzebub! War! War! War! Hillzebub! Hillzebub!

I thought we'd reached peak insanity a week or so ago. I was wrong. It's climbing.

LSP

Peak Insanity

Democrats dump on Trump with a tape of him being as lewd as a Bronze Age chieftain, Gennifer Flowers quotes Bill about Hill's sex drive and Assange drops a cluster bomb on Podesta, revealing that rags to riches champion of oppressed women everywhere is, in fact, an inside-the-beltway NWO elite globalist shill. Hunh. Now we know.

In the meanwhile, the country's $20 trillion in debt and climbing, our manufacturing center's hollowed out, our inner cities are urban hellholes, schools are worse than a joke and people are talking about slinging BIG ONES around. Show that sonofabitch we mean business about backing up our allies Al Qaeda and ISIS, goddammit. And oh, we've got the world's largest prison population. The list goes on.

So don't get distracted by anything serious like, you know, the sex lives of our rulers.

It's official. We've reached peak insanity.

That is all.

LSP

Hillary's Cough

Following recent bursts of uncontrollable coughing, it's become apparent that presidential hopeful, Hillary Clinton, is sick, very sick. Alex Christoforou, writing for TheDuran, suggests that Hillary's cough is psychosomatic, the result of brazen, pathological lying. Christoforou proposes a radical four point cure:

Hillary’s cough will go away for good when she does these four things:

1. Admits that the Russian hacking story was a made up thing, created by her marketing team to divert attention away from her cheating during the Democratic primaries

2. Admits that Vladimir Putin is a democratically elected statesman, and one of the few leaders trying to enforce international law and geo-political stability

3. Admits that the Clinton Foundation is a pay-to-play slush fund that took in billions in exchange for political favors

4. Admits that she murdered Gaddafi, destroyed Libya, funded ISIS terrorists, invaded Syria with jihadist radicals, and instigated a coup in Honduras.

Others believe that Hillary's cough is evidence of a revenge spell, cast by Bill Clinton's spurned mistresses, or a sign that the Devil is discarding her like a used and broken toy.  Members of the scientific intelligence community have even proposed that Russian operatives have found a way to hack into the Hillbot's circuitry, causing its body to malfunction.

Hillary's cough - caused by lying, dark magic, a failing pact with Satan, or a hi-tech Russian hack?

You, the reader, be the judge.

LSP

Russians, Have You no Shame?

Does Russia have no shame? Portraying President Obama as if he were some sort of ape, or monkey? What lengths will they sink to?

Cutting boards?

Underwear?

Mysterious banana gags?

Shocking, isn't it. But consider this, is the current uptick in European Jihad terror an aspect of crazed Neocon power play, a cog in the wheel of bringing Euro vassal states into line against Russia? What a preposterous idea! Unlike, for example, blaming Benghazi on a video.

Consider this, too. When was the last time you saw a Western head of state making anything like a formal act of Christian worship. You haven't? Hunh. Now ask yourself what Gods these people  do worship and hint, Moloch demands infant sacrifice.

In the meanwhile, our frenemies, ISIS, laugh.

Hillary4Prison,

LSP

Come on, Putin, Turn up The Heat!

On Hillary, by releasing all the emails your team hacked off her, ahem, private server. 

Senator Cotton agrees and thinks a frustrated FBI is about to turn to Russia for help.

So come on, Vlad, lend a hand and earn the undying support, love and gratitude of the American people.

Your Old Friend,

LSP

Obamka, A Special Treat

Perhaps you're looking for that special Mother's Day treat. Look no further. Russia presents you with the "Obamka", or "Little Obama." In Russian, the diminutive suffix "ka" is used to express affection, or derision.

The ice cream treat features a hard shell of delicious milk chocolate around a white vanilla interior and a stick runs up its rear, enabling handlers to grip the Obamka firmly.

Obamka Licks Cone

Slavitska, which produces the popular ice cream novelty, insists any similarities between Obamka and the outgoing US President are imaginary:

“With different flavors and glazes, this [line of] ice cream will stand for the main races on our planet. Ice cream names need to be memorable. For those with a vivid imagination, various associations might come to mind, but this product is for children and is a long way from politics."

Obamka Eats Rainbow

Vicious rumors that Team LSP is sponsored by Slavitska are baseless, without foundation and entirely that, rumors.

Russian strongman, Vladimir Putin, has a vodka, Putinka, named after him.

здоровье!

LSP

Running Mates?

Pundits are suggesting that Pompeius Redivivus Trump and Constantinus Novus Putin should form a Duumvirate and run jointly for the US imperial regalia. 

I'm not sure what that'd mean for Marco Rubio, who has been accused of having "rat claw hands." Probably nothing pleasant, and seeing as how this small kebab stand on the information superhighway is now focused on classical antiquity, ponder this.

Imperial Rome had at its peak a population in excess of 1 million people. This had shrunk to some 30,000, possibly less, by the 8th century A.D. Picture the view from the Palatine Hill over what had been the temporal center of the world, and imagine the sea of ruins stretching out to the Aurelian walls.

A sobering thought, for me at least, and some say a harbinger of things to come in the US. That would make Detroit a kind of model, or type, of things to come.

Maybe our next president will disprove these prophets and you never know, maybe Detroit will be great again.

Cheers,

LSP

Killer No. 1

It seems those mischievous Russians are at it again! This time they've taken to beaming videos of President Obama onto buildings in downtown Moscow, portraying him as a devil eating up nations as though they were souls.

A Typical Russian Art Gallery

President Obama is frequently ridiculed by Russian pranksters, who see him as a figure of scorn and derision. By contrast, former KGB strongman, Vladimir Putin, is seen by many as a New Constantine.

According to recent polls, 18% of all Americans believe Obama is a Muslim, 43% of Republicans believe the same.

Make of that what you will.

LSP

Putin, ISIS And Obama, or, Caught in The Act

Feel free to translate Barack Hussein Obama's exclamation any way you like. And remember, what this so-called blog lacks in nuance, it gains in enthusiasm.

ISIS laughs, or it would, if it wasn't for Russia.

Well done, Putin.

LSP

Ride English, in Texas

You can ride English in Texas, there's no "rule," and that's just what I did, drove over to visit a church person and tacked up, English-style. Blue Posting Trot came along too; he enjoys being out in the country with the other dogs.

I rode out at a post to a fanfare of barking, and headed off down the dirt road to a big plowed field. It brought back memories, because I used to run the ill-behaved Thoroughbred, JB, there. So I paused for a while and remembered that, then moved on.

The Arabian mare wasn't too sure she wanted to endure being separated from her pasture pals, but tough luck, horse, ride on. I picked up a gallop(s), too, though mindful of the uneven ground. No point in injuring the horse, or yourself, on a sun-baked boulder of plowed dirt.

Ready, Set, Go!

All in all a great ride, and I enjoyed riding English for a change. What are the benefits, if any? I'd say it gives you more contact with the horse; there's simply less between you and the animal. This lends itself to greater control, if you know how to use it. Some say that dressage skills make for better Western riding, and that sounds right to me, but I'm no expert.

Typically Happy Texan Dogs

What I do know is that it's a world of fun going fast, at one with the horse; slow too, and perhaps riding English has an advantage, because of closer contact, unlike our President's epic fail in Syria. But that's a different story.

All for Texas,

LSP

Wrath of God

Heard tell hailstones big as bowling balls been smashing sunroofs in Denton. Wrath of God, friends.

Don't mess with this, fools.

Likewise, Putin, Russia's autocrat, unfurled the banner of the Madonna of Kazan over the Black Sea.

Don't mess with that, Banksters.

LSP

The Government's Back!

And the Government's Back.

I see there's been some sort of deal, in which members of the government have voted to bring... the government back! Remarkable.

Who was it that said, "The turkeys keep voting for Christmas."

Illuminati Shill Bear

In related news, one of the little people in Miley's neat bear act left the stage "shivering and crying" because she was treated as "less than human", like some kind of fake bear. You can look it up on the internet if you doubt me.

Real Bear

Well, there's bears and there's bears.

Cheers,

LSP

You Thief!

Exceptional

I stole this photo from LL, who tells us he took it from Woodsterman, who took it from someone else again. And who can blame us?

Ride on,

LSP