Wednesday, April 13, 2016

Obey Your Rainbow Rulers

Great Britain's Monarch, Sir Elton John, has forbidden British press from reporting on his star-studded sex life, involving steamy three-ways with his husband David Furnish and other male celebrities.

Elton John and David Furnish

Because of a court order, it is now illegal for media to publish stories about Elton John and David Furnish cavorting with their lovers in children's swimming pools and having olive oil wrestling bouts with Canadians.

John Bercow

The pink gag order extends to England's Parliament, where the Speaker of the House of Commons, John Bercow, has banned MPs from revealing the identity of England's Rainbow Rulers, Elton John, and David Furnish.


Thanks to what is known as a "back door injunction," British citizens and MPs face punitive fines and prison if they publicly reveal the identities of their Queens.

You can read about England's new-found freedom of speech here, here and here.

Some Guy in a Dress

In related news, the US Navy is actively recruiting transsexuals. "The hope," said one senior naval officer on the condition of anonymity, "is that the enemy will die laughing."

Rule Britannia,



LL said...

Isn't Elton getting a bit long in the tooth for that sort of thing? He's 69 and Bruce Jenner is 65. I guess there's no perv like an old perv.

Adrienne said...

And to think that now it's okay for them to have two children by way surrogacy is mind bending. Two little boys who will never have a mother. This is selfish beyond belief.

Mattexian said...

The Navy got rid of rum and the lash, leaving only one tradition, so it's understandable they'd be recruiting.

As for Sir Elton, he's his own man (so to speak), after being declared an Unperson be the progressive powers-that-be after his concert in Israel a few years back.

Fredd said...

Yeah, I just wish Sir Elton John would start behaving himself, and take after more upstanding rock stars such as Bruce Springsteen.

LSP said...

That's our Rocketman, LL.

LSP said...

All in the interests of the, ahem, children, Adrienne. But seriously, our social engineers don't give a damn about them, witness our outstanding education system, the destruction of marriage, and total support for the baby parts selling Moloch factories.

LSP said...

I'd forgotten about the Israel concert, Mattexian.

LSP said...

Fredd, The Boss. What a comsymp, no talent, millionaire socialist, Tele playing, guitar buffoon. There, now that's off my chest.